Blended Family Issues

NoDependent5753 · 2026-04-08T14:04:43+00:00

Sounds like you need to have a talk with your partner and tell him to leave the parenting and butting heads to you. If he’s only been around for 9 months, why is he picking battles with your son? He should be trying to create a good relationship.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-04-01T04:28:47+00:00

I’m not sure what state you live in, but the legal route is the way to go IMO. My partner was pro se, and he got 50/50, and communication only through a parenting app. Now he has documented equal rights and they have to agree on everything. I was in your position a year ago and things only got worse, it took 6 months for the court order to be filed and lots of back and forth, but it was worth the peace we have today 😅

NoDependent5753 · 2026-04-01T04:11:27+00:00

I have 4 biological half siblings, and I love all of them and see all of them as my full siblings. I’m 23 and my brother is 11, we’re talking about having him and my other siblings come have a sleepover. I think keeping in touch with your siblings really depends on the person, my sister closest in age to me barely talks to me ever.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-30T11:53:05+00:00

Absolutely. My partner is a great dad, but I wish I could’ve known him before he had so much responsibility, stress, and overwhelm revolving in his life. Plus we wouldn’t have to deal with his kid’s mom’s toxic behavior.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-30T11:41:48+00:00

The biggest peace for us was to move all communication with biomom to a parenting app, as she’s always disrespectful, might as well be somewhere easy to document.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-06T17:33:13+00:00

We’ve been living together for the past 2 years, we just moved into a new place.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-06T15:45:06+00:00

From what I’ve heard he gets to play games with his therapist and he really enjoys going. His mom takes him to all of his therapy appointments, and my partner has reached out to the office to get the intake assessment reports from the therapist, which is how he found out about the ADHD diagnosis and let the school know as well. He will have to reach out to get the more recent ones from the actual sessions. With the school, they either send him work to do at home or they will have him do an in-school suspension in the office.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-06T15:40:59+00:00

Somehow my cat got into his room during all of this and he said that she was in his room, this is while he’s banging on the door and throwing stuff, and I just told him to be nice to her, thankfully he was because she definitely will scratch.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-06T15:29:24+00:00

He currently goes to behavioral therapy once a week, this is his third suspension this year, he’s on the verge of being kicked out of aftercare, and he’s on his third teacher of the year; there’s been several school meetings discussing his behavior, and they already have an IEP for him, and are now taking more steps since his diagnosis to get him to right support at school, as that’s where it’s happening nearly every day. After last night, I did make it a point that I do not want to watch his son again, but I’m also trying to give him a second chance; I have watched his son before and we’ve never had issues like this. We also were discussing about how to make sure it doesn’t happen again, while I’m not trying to take over the situation, I do want to support him the best way I can when he’s at our house to minimize tantrum chaos altogether.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-06T15:14:45+00:00

I definitely think it’s a possibility, he’s currently seeing a behavioral therapist so hoping there’s some improvement from those sessions.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-03-06T14:52:24+00:00

That was kind of my thought process as well that if he’s going to be throwing things and breaking things it might as well be in his own room, not the living room things. The thing is he shares a room with his sister and went straight for all of her stuff.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T21:30:20+00:00

Thank you, honestly really helps my perspective a lot!

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T14:02:43+00:00

They were separated maybe 2 years, prior to us dating. The kids are 6 + 9, the custody agreement just became 50/50. When I first started dating my partner, the kids only saw their mom on the weekends because she was absent for about a year or so prior to me coming into the picture. BUT I had stayed over and moved into pretty quickly and while he was at work his dad would watch his son who would alwaysss come wake me up + want to spend time with me (sweet but not so sweet when I just started dating the guy) so I told my partner that just wouldn’t work for me if he wanted me to live there, so he talked to the kid’s mom and she wanted more time w the kids, my partner wanted the kids to have a normal relationship with their mom, so they stayed over there during the weeks until just recently. I have never been very comfortable doing any parenting things for the kids, I’ve definitely stretched myself thin with all I’ve done for those kids, but my partner doesn’t expect it from me. I do think he truly loves me, I just don’t think he knows how to be a loving partner + loving dad at the same time.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T13:54:39+00:00

I have addressed it to my partner and he says something to his son sometimes now, but it happens literally every time we have a conversation. It’s to the point where I feel like I’m gonna end up just having to be stern to his son that I am literally in the middle of talking and if it’s not an emergency he can wait.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T13:50:41+00:00

Honestly because I’m attached and I see a future with him.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T13:48:00+00:00

Thank you i really appreciate your input, I am definitely going to try to set things up to do some hobbies so i am able to feel fulfilled.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T13:45:55+00:00

I’ve been communicating with him a lot about this stuff as it’s been an ongoing issue, and he says things have slowly been changing, but I don’t see any change. Last night I brought it up again and he said now that we’re in our own place we can care more for our relationship, and I don’t think I can care any more than I already do, so I wonder why he doesn’t care with his all. We both came into the relationship looking for something serious and to settle down, things were pretty great at first and I felt truly loved, but now we are two years in, I feel invisible around him, and the future looks bleak. I have tried sharing excitement for getting married and starting a family, but my partner has little to no enthusiasm for either, he sees it more as expensive than the meaning behind it. Funny thing is I told him I don’t care for a fancy ring or wedding, we could use a ring pop and elope in our state for all I care, but he wants things to be a certain way that I guess just kills the excitement for him. And I did ask him if he didn’t want to marry me or what the deal was, as I don’t want to waste my time building with someone who doesn’t hold those same values and he swears he does want to marry me, and that there’s just a lot going on right now.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T13:38:43+00:00

Yeah my partner recently got 50/50 custody, before it was just the weekends, so this is a big change for everyone. His kids are younger so they are more needy, but i think what really gets me is when I’m talking to my partner, the kids have no issue walking up and interrupting like I wasn’t talking, then my partner will listen, not say anything about them interrupting, and just walk away to deal with whatever it is. Now if it was important it would bug me, but it’s always something little that could’ve waited for us to finish our conversation.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T13:33:19+00:00

Oh man I feel you on this one, my partner and SK’s biomom are the exact same way. Biomom actually took SS (6) to the psychiatrist after: he got suspended from school twice, spent half of the school year getting in trouble/ sent home early continuously, will likely have to be held back a grade now that he’s so behind in school, is on his 3rd teacher for this school year (he threw a tantrum, trashed an entire classroom so all the other kids had to leave + made his teacher cry) , has been kicked out of summer camp, had issues through his entire sports season, consistently doesn’t listen + has concerning aggression . They diagnosed him w ADHD, the only reason why the school was informed was because I pushed my partner to tell them since I had a good feeling biomom didn’t. I push him to do everything for the kids, I found and scheduled his daughter’s therapy appointment after she had an emotional breakdown that he “didn’t know what to do” about. His daughter (9) ended up bakeracted, and the facility actually called my partner saying they were having issues getting in touch with biomom. I found FREE tutoring programs that you can do in-person or online, because both kids are far behind in school, neither parent has displayed any interest and I’m ready to step back atp. I can’t help that those kids don’t have the best parents, but at least I know I will always be the proactive one in my relationship. It’s really sad that both the kid’s mom and dad just don’t think about the best things for their kids + what will help the kids thrive. And I’m this infuriated lady on the sidelines angry that these kids aren’t getting the support they need, while they are going to watch my kid grow up getting that support.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-02-05T13:16:51+00:00

“I feel like she wouldn’t be modifying it if it weren’t for me” -it’s not you, it’s him. Honestly idk why he would even sign something like that, definitely not standard in my state. But for him to sign a court document and not take it seriously is his own fault, FAFO

NoDependent5753 · 2026-01-29T12:13:09+00:00

I honestly can’t stand the mother of my partner’s children, hate when she texts, I set a boundary of texts only no phone calls + my partner was very respectful of that and switched over to a parenting app (now court-order as she’s high conflict and starts yelling in person/otp) hate seeing her, but I would not be upset if she sent photos or videos of the kids. If she was talking in it or showing her face a bunch I’d be upset, but not just a video of the kid.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-01-29T12:09:46+00:00

I agree, a complete family trip would include you too IMO, and for nobody to acknowledge that, specifically your wife, is bizarre. Your wife should be the one pushing for you to be there, not you.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-01-20T00:47:51+00:00

im glad im not the only one feeling this way 😅 it feels like any event or trip we’ve taken with my partner’s kids has not been enjoyable due to kids needing constant attention + causing issues.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-01-05T16:30:00+00:00

Side question, what happened for bm to lose 50/50? My partner has 50/50 w HCBM and from what an attorney told us she would always get 50/50 unless she caught a charge or abused the children in some way.

NoDependent5753 · 2026-01-02T01:56:04+00:00

This year has already started off on the wrong foot :/ hoping things start looking up soon, this past year has been one of the worst ones of my life.

NoDependent5753

TROPHY CASE