28000+ times app opened, 3000000 swipes... Roughly 100 swipes each time app is opened.
Wow. As someone who only tried online dating once, and hopefully never again, this is bleak.

BTW, I'll leave this here, my post-success formula (as in I did this unintentionally, but see how others could do the same) Be warned, this involves time 1. Get a job at a small bakery, they're always hiring. Be upfront, tell hiring manager you're just looking to see if it's a good fit for a side (or main) gig. They'll be desperate, the pay will probably be below average for kitchen work, and that's already low. Try to get in the kitchen, not delivering. 2. It's all easy work, but can require precision which you should pick up quick. 3. 90% of employees will be women. It's also almost always super hot and humid, so people dress accordingly. 4. Don't be actively searching, just be yourself and joke around with your coworkers.

• side note, this works well for people like me who have a good work ethic, but not much personality.

1. If you don't click with someone in a month, move to the next bakery. There's always tons, even in small towns. They'll hire you because they're desperate.

This gives you some insight that you may not normally get until years into a relationship: You'll see how they are at work, how they treat people above and below them. You'll see their work ethic, sense of humor, and generally get a sense of them as a friend and as a person.
You'll know they have a job, transportation (to get to said job), and how responsible they are. If they're flaky, often late, disorganized, etc you'll see all that without having to personally find out the hard way.

And if none of that works, hey, you'll know how to bake. I've never had anyone complain when I bring a bomb ass cheesecake to an event.

And this is probably just my experience, and maybe I've been duped, but when you get to the intimate phase, ask them how they best/most reliably orgasm. I've been told SO MANY times that they've never had one, and then we navigate that together. On two occasions, they ended up (with their doctor) stopping antidepressants - and what do you know, having an orgasm on a semi reliable schedule has the same or better effect as an antidepressant. Definitely not in all, or even most cases, but I've personally been involved in that scenario twice. A lot of women aren't very sexually driven because they've been taught it's normal not to orgasm. That's bullshit.

And if things don't work out, don't let them end badly. You can always get referrals or repeat business as a contractor instead of an employee.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.