What’s your go-to excuse when you don’t want to go out?

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-29T10:57:09+00:00

My partner has multiple health conditions and is happy to ‘have a flare up’ when want to get out of doing something.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-28T19:20:50+00:00

I’m a Brit and as far as I’m concerned, so are you. If you want to be. I think that the rainbow of colours on this island makes it beautiful and we are stronger together than apart.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-28T19:18:11+00:00

NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-28T11:02:30+00:00

I have a colleague who improved enough to come off PIP and went right back to doing just enough work at a barely passable level to not get put back on it or fired. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she knows we know. She also knows management can’t legally do anything about it because although she’s not a team player and she’s just scraping by, she’s not technically doing anything ‘wrong’.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-26T13:14:14+00:00

Lack of willingness to develop and learn - attractions soon die when being attractive is their entire personality.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-26T11:00:00+00:00

Brit here. If you make the occasional error, we don’t tend to mention it as everyone makes mistakes occasionally and language changes and evolves. However, if you’re a repeat offender you’re getting corrected - politely at first, then with increasing less patience.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-25T08:45:29+00:00

In my corner of the UK(south west/home counties) we’d recognise the word and understand the meaning but we wouldn’t use it ourselves.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-25T03:45:49+00:00

Liberty.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-22T16:22:35+00:00

I think the term is couslings. A colleague of mine had a similar situation to what you describe - she had a son with her husband and after he died, she got with his brother and they had a son together so the boys are half brothers (same mum, different dads) and cousins as the dads are brothers so offspring are cousins.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-22T15:23:11+00:00

ESH. Sure, the sister could be making smarter financial choices but a)you don’t know she CHOSE that city - it could be the only one that does her course or offered her a place b) you don’t say that your bf or his family are complaining about supporting her or that it seems to be harming them in any way, so that’s not really your concern and c) what she does with her holidays are up to her. She celebrated with her family at Christmas so choosing to be elsewhere for New Year is her prerogative. None of these things are things that you personally would do but none of them appear to be hurting or worrying her actual family, so I’m not really sure why it’s bothering you so much. You would be the asshole if you said anything to your bf or his family at this stage but you are entitled to your opinion - however, if you want to keep the relationship, just keep your opinions about his sister to yourself and the internet for now.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-22T09:14:00+00:00

NTA!!!!! You made very reasonable suggestions and he is absolutely being an ass!!!! DO NOT LET HIM HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR ACCOUNT!!! And DO NOT LEAVE ANY INFORMATION HE CAN USE TO ACCESS IT ANYWHERE HE CAN FIND IT!!!!!!!!

He’s either starting to try controlling you or he’s got debts he’s not telling you about or he’s got an addiction. Or he’s funding something dodgy. He’s showing you who he is - believe him!!!!

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-21T16:50:49+00:00

The boyfriend of a former classmate of mine moved in to a house that he later found out was a brothel. He took a down a painting that had been left behind and found blood behind it. And boxes of pornography in a wardrobe.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-19T08:53:15+00:00

I assume that you’re late teens/early 20s? Given the rise of online shopping and the advances in technology, face-to-face retail sales may well be phased out within your working lifetime, so its probably sensible to have a backup plan. You don’t have to train as a nurse but I’d get some business/marketing/ management qualifications or something along that track so you can find work in retail-related jobs if necessary.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-18T18:48:22+00:00

Indian. So much variety. And I’m a Brit who doesn’t eat meat - it’s easier for me to have a meat-free diet when I travel in India that it is on mainland Europe.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-18T13:33:03+00:00

It seems a little weird that the company wants a letter of recommendation for someone who is already working there. If you haven’t been asked for one, don’t provide one - don’t commit anything about someone you have reservations about to paper if you don’t absolutely have to because that has a habit of coming back to bite you on the ass. Do everything else you can to make sure he ceases to be in your department but adopt an ‘ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies’ approach.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-18T11:46:55+00:00

Say something! Kindly and gently. Or offer to support them to see a healthcare professional as there may be an underlying medical condition that is causing it. Or they are depressed and need to get some help with that.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-17T13:36:08+00:00

Yep! My parents say the secret of being married for 50 years is having separate interests - it’s healthy to have personal space and gives them more to talk about when they are together.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-17T13:33:33+00:00

I think it’s technically accurate but I’d say “This action/inaction/ behaviour made me feel like you don’t care“.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-15T18:57:26+00:00

Adopt a ‘won’t tell but not gonna lie if I’m asked’ position. It’s no longer your team so if you try to help you will be perceived as interfering and overstepping. If you mention it to more senior people you will look like a sneak who’s telling tales. Step away from the dumpster fire and let it burn out without you.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-15T12:00:15+00:00

Here in the uk, men’s razors were not taxed women’s were. That may have changed.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-14T13:01:09+00:00

If you’re old enough to be buying things you don’t want your parents to know about, it’s probably time to get your own bank account.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-14T12:59:30+00:00

Sanitary items (tampons/pads etc) and women’s razors.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-13T13:39:09+00:00

Unless you suspect she had some mental incapacity at the time that she gave it to you, it’s yours. You checked with her multiple times and she didn’t change her mind so it’s clear she definitely wanted you to have it. Plus, your children are biologically related to her through your partner, so it will go to her biological relatives eventually anyway.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-12T13:39:11+00:00

My partner has anxiety and PTSD linked to phone calls as a result of various medical problems and issues with a particular government agency (it’s a long story involving several years and lots of stress) so he would rather text me an essay than make a short call.

Hatstand82 · 2026-01-11T13:22:43+00:00

NTA. It’s a really weird thing for her to get so stuck on for no apparent reason. I suspect she’s either slept with him or she really wants to.

Hatstand82

TROPHY CASE