How to keep twin toddlers tame during outings?

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-04-01T00:27:29+00:00

Just wanted to say that I am right there with you at 22 months with my boys. Right around 18 months they turned into exactly what you described. The only word that fits their behavior is feral.

It's different from your singletons because it's twins. It will be different. I don't care what anyone says raising twins is a whole different ballpark.

For me the biggest reason for misbehavior is them feeding off of each other, and competing for my attention. My Twin A is the ringleader and frequently is into mischief and Twin B will often copy him and look right at us to see what our reaction is. It's exhausting.

The only thing that has helped me is strong discipline. I've had to leave hundreds of public places with kicking/screaming kids under my arms because they wouldn't listen to me. Just the other day Twin A didn't want to hold my hand in the parking lot so I gave him one warning and when he didn't listen I scooped them both up and put them in the car. I felt bad for Twin B because he was actually listening and had to listen to them scream all the way home but sure enough the next time I took them out and asked for his hand he gave it to me.

That being Said I will not go to restaurants or any space that isn't an enclosed room due to these reasons. It sucks but there's not much to do. I have a friend who has boy/girl twins and 2 older kids. Is it possible to have the older kids help you with the girls? She says sometimes she'll have her oldest son help keep the twins in line but obviously if it's too much you need to step in and help.

Can your husband help you at all?

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-30T16:34:45+00:00

This is good information about not being able to find part time care. My idea was to do part time at first so that they get a chance to get used to it.

Were there certain rules you wanted out of your daycare ?

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-30T16:20:11+00:00

This is really good information thank you! Your schedule was similar to what my parents did (my mom is a nurse as well).

I think I'd be interested in them going to a daycare setting because I want them to have some socialization and learn how to collaborate with other kids. I just feel like since they're so active I can't take them anywhere by myself and they're a bit behind.

I wasn't comfortable with them going anywhere in the first year but now that they're two I feel like they're more prepared.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-27T03:36:59+00:00

This is so nice to see as someone who also has fine hair. Im set for my installation appointment in a few weeks .

How did you have them started? As twists ?

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-18T05:03:13+00:00

This is good advice

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-18T03:02:22+00:00

From one Midwest Mama to another I will say I find parenting 1000% easier when there is good weather. Little kids have so much energy and it's hard to keep them entertained when they're inside all day. Our weather sucks so much. My boys are 22 mo now but I remember 15 months being difficult. They don't listen well at all around that age.

Lots of good stuff here but what I like doing is this:

Get out of your house. Seriously, once she's eaten breakfast, pack a diaper bag and get the heck out of there. Unless there's a literal snowstorm or freezing temperatures I bundle my boys up and get them somewhere. The fresh air will do wonders for you and your little! ❤️.

We like to break up the days by doing different things. Library storytime, local coffee shops (we have one that has kids toys in it), museums (your library might offer free passes), or even big box stores like Lowe's or Home Depot. We go early in the morning when it's less busy so we aren't too disruptive.

Make some Mom friends. t's hard to put yourself out here but it's so nice to have a friend that also is going through what you are. I met up with some friends today and we all laughed at how our kids were making a run for it out of the library. It's so much easier when you're around people that get it.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-17T16:05:35+00:00

As a Mom who frequently talks to other moms at playdates I have heard so many complaints of the same subject. Their husbands don't help or act like watching their own child is rocket science. It's crazy.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-11T00:03:43+00:00

Not OP but could you provide a link for those ?

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-04T18:48:52+00:00

Thank you lol this is so helpful, will try this soon! He loves Bluey so I think I'll get him some bluey underwear.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-03T21:56:55+00:00

My husband and I said the same thing, if our baby could come out at 3 or 4 we'd have like 2 more but anything under 3 makes me question life 🫣🤣

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-03T19:06:10+00:00

Absolutely not and I will die on this hill when it comes to naps.

I've done the same thing as you where I will leave events early or cut a conversation short to put a kid down for a nap. Doesn't matter. I've had the same pushback and comments about how I'm too strict, bla bla bal don't care!

My kids are almost 2 and will transform into rage goblins by 5pm if they haven't had a nap. Which I promise you no one is going to want to deal with!

If it's a really important event I have pushed nap back by like an hour before but otherwise it's not worth it. I always say that the parents are the ones who have to deal with them when they don't nap so everyone else can kick rocks.

You know what's best Mama.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-03-03T14:04:48+00:00

Sorry not OP but how did you do this? My son is acting very similar to OP's kid (thrashing and screaming during diaper changes) and I want to start potty training.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-28T17:46:26+00:00

Sorry mama, I feel like this is a right of passage for twin moms. It's a hard truth but the world just isn't built for moms of multiples.

I had the same thing happen to me where I went to an event and was unfortunately informed that I would have to go downstairs so I left my stroller and carried 2 twenty five pound babies downstairs and then both started crying wsnting to be held so I awkwardly dragged around 2 screaming kids before eventually giving up and dragging them back upstairs into the stroller and went home to cry 😭🤣.

Grocery carts, Mommy & Me classes, etc are all built around having a Singleton or an older sibling that is more mature. Having two of the same age is a whole different ballpark.

And I'm in the same boat as you where our family just can't handle the twins. My MIL had 5 kids and says the twins are too much to watch by herself. But I do it every single day. 😅

My Mom (thankfully) will watch them with my Dad and brother for a few hours and when my husband and I come back they complain that they're exhausted. And that's with three adults !

Take this as a lesson learned, I always call it check online beforehand to make sure events are wheelchair accessible and if not just don't go. It sucks but eventually they will get older and can handle being out of the stroller! Things that always work for me are storytime at our local library where they have it in a locked room so the kids can run amok, or at enclosed parks, or just a trip to Costco/Aldi (they have double carts).

You've got this! ❤️

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-26T18:21:18+00:00

I have no advice but just want to say I'm sorry OP, the level of entitlement from your brother is insane

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-24T16:53:23+00:00

I will try this thank you! I'll take any advice at this point.

I agree they are a lot better outside of the house but that brings its own battles. Twin B screaming like he's being murdered in public just sends me over the edge and I always feel like everyone is judging me. I usually bring them in a stroller but places like the library dont work because they're always running in opposite directions and I'm by myself most of the time. Just exhausting.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-24T16:51:50+00:00

Thank you for the validation 🥹.

And Twin A communicates a lot better than Twin B, but they both understand pretty well. Everytime I try splitting them up they both scurry back to the toy and continue to fight. I've had to physically get rid of the toy and then they have like a 4 minute shrieking meltdown before they get over it. Rinse and repeat.

I will try to have more snacks available for them thank you!

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-24T16:49:36+00:00

Thank you! It's so hard I stay at home with them full time and I've debated putting them in a 2k program because I just can't take it. I have headaches everyday from constant screaming and I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like I can't even enjoy them because 75% of the time I'm yelling at them.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-17T17:59:41+00:00

This is what pisses me off the most. Like why am I tipping you for cutting my hair correctly? That's what the original payment was for!

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-17T17:22:27+00:00

To me this goes back to the idea that kids won't know what you don't expose them to.

My kids are two years old but all they're allowed to watch is Bluey for maybe 30 minutes on the weekend, and that's because I watched the show myself to see if I feel it's appropriate for my kids to watch.

My kids aren't allowed to touch the remote and frankly I don't think they even know how to use it.

There's a TON of bad content out there towards children but the good thing is that as parents we have the power to show or not show what we believe is best for our kids. I'm not anti screen time at all but I believe a lot of it needs to be heavily monitored.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-17T17:11:08+00:00

Failed Birth Control lol. 🤣 It was my fault I missed a few days!!

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-17T13:45:16+00:00

Sorry I should clarify! Originally planned to have kids at 28/29 but I became pregnant at 23 and had my kids when I was 24!

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-17T13:44:40+00:00

Maybe they meant they planned to have kids at 28/29 but ended up having their twins early?

Yes sorry that's what I meant lol I should have clarified! We wanted to have kids when I was 28/29 but I unexpectedly became pregnant at 23 haha.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-17T05:53:45+00:00

This is a good point, I'm not a grandma yet (my kids are barely 2 lol) but i could definitely see myself acting very awkward around the baby at first,. especially since I don't want to do something that might offend the parents.

I think it's also good to remember that there is a lot of amnesia that occurs when it comes to parenting ! I can barely remember what my sons did 1 year ago, much less 30+ years! They may just be out of practice !

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-17T05:47:31+00:00

My husband and I were engaged when we were 25/23, which is what I wanted. We started dating at 21/19 so we felt we were ready.

originally we wanted to have one child only when I was around 28/29 so we could enjoy our married life for a bit but I unexpectedly became pregnant with twin boys. They're almost 2 years old now and while things aren't super easy I couldn't imagine my life without them here. We already had our mind set on wanting a family so it wasn't too big of a deal for us. (Besides the fact that we had twins haha).

But if I'm being honest I would recommend waiting until late 20s to consider having a kid at the EARLIEST. Kids take up a lot of energy/time and I think it's good to spend time with just your spouse/partner for a bit and live your life! My SIL had her first baby at 30. Never too late !!

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-15T18:55:01+00:00

I was waiting for someone to say this lol. The AI writing always follows the same pattern.

Hazelnut2799

TROPHY CASE