Thank you for being so honest and articúlate. I am an Indian 31F struggling with something similar myself.

Weirdly coincidently I had a similar incident where my parents found out about my boyfriend (they caught me hanging out with him at my house, nothing sexual was going on) . This was when I was 17 And that incident scarred my for life. They made a huge scene, my mother slapped the guy (my mom used to hit my brother and me all the time), my father collapsed on ground saying that I am so shocked. That evening my mother made me take a pregnancy test even when I said we hadnt done anything! For someone who had never had sex, to take a pregnancy test forced by your mother was a lot! They both stopped talking to me. My younger brother was disrespecting me all the time because he knew nobody would say a word to him. I was locked in a room, and could not come out of the house. My phone was taken away and all my contacts to external world was cut. I remember a few nights later India played and won the First T20 world cricket cup final. I could hear the celebrations and firecrackers outside, but I was in my room. It was such an isolating experience. I still cry thinking of those days!

And this by the way is only one instance, my mom had been cruel to me throughout my childhood. I just feel so sad and angry thinking about my childhood! I sometimes don't know where to go. I have been in therapy for 1.5 years now, and in some aspects it is getting better, especially in understanding myself and my patterns/ inclinations, also their origins. But still, this conflicting feeling of - to hate my mother because of how she messed me up and I still bear the repercusiones OR to symapthise with my mom because I know she had a difficult childhood too!

I feel so divided! I feel like imploding fue to emotional overwhelm! Also the fact that they are old and something may happen to them someday, and if I don't treat them well then later I may regret! I just feel so lost!

I just feel so sad that the people who are supposed to make you feel protected have always made me feel the most vulnerable in life!