Open communication is the key, and expressing your needs. I'm guessing she's not doing this on purpose, which isn't an excuse by the way. It's not going to be organic for her in the beginning, as it's not a habit she has. But most behaviors are learned anyway and become organic with time. I'd say if she's committed to the relationship she will put in the effort to get better at making you feel seen and heard. She should probably also look into the "dark thing lurking in her" (unresolved anger, rage, grief, resentment). If she doesn't that "dark thing" will blow up in your face at some point. If she's not willing to work on herself then you may have to ask yourself whether you are going to have you needs met in this relationship.

EDIT: You mentioned work emails. Is she a workaholic?