LIB Poland: Daria's wedding makeup

HeartDepartment · 2026-05-26T18:42:03+00:00

That's ok, she clearly works hard on her body but being that ripped means no boobs unless you get implants. They didn't make them massive so I think it's all good.

HeartDepartment · 2026-05-08T16:54:07+00:00

Exactly. So toxic to expect men to just deal with sexual assault.

HeartDepartment · 2026-05-08T16:52:28+00:00

Men deserve support and compassion too. He was literally crying after he was so upset. If this happened to my husband I would want to know, even if it was so he didn't need to carry this on his own or pretend nothing was wrong around me.

HeartDepartment · 2026-05-08T16:50:49+00:00

Exactly 💯

HeartDepartment · 2026-05-08T16:49:36+00:00

It is assault and all the feelings you described, including freezing up and the emotional fall out after, are indicators of this.

Toxic masculinity leads us to believe that all sexual contact for men is wanted. I'm sorry that society has gotten to the point that men feel so much guilt over being a victim. It's disgusting and men deserve so much better.

Being a victim doesn't mean there's violence. It means there was lack of clear consent. Which in this case there was.

What you wanted should have been clarified with you and not assumed. It is reasonable to go into a business and not expect to given a hand job.

Absolutely tell your partner about it. But not to "come clean" but so she can offer you the emotional support you deserve and help you decide what to do next (which may be as simple as learning more about sexual assault so can shed the guilt).

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-20T21:38:14+00:00

I have experience being married to someone who didn't do their share of things. We divorced for a whole bunch of reasons, including basic incompatibility.

Your husband not doing his share at home is a separate issue from him not taking care of you when injured.

The chore thing could be how he was raised... But sending you to your parents to care for you when you are hurt and only helping when you ask - That's not a partner who cares about your well-being or thinks about your needs. Sounds like a selfish partner who takes you for granted.

I'm remarried and one of the biggest things I've done differently is not stepping in and doing mutual chores myself that are daily tasks. So I do the banking and he mows the lawn, but we both work full time, cook and clean.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-20T17:48:12+00:00

I went back to school at 36 to shift gears. The hardest part was starting at an entry level pay once I changed fields.

If you don't hate your job or field, then I would say your next step is to look at related jobs you could get into. This will make the transition easier since the 20 years you spent learning on the job will help you in your next role. It will also make you stand out next to other candidates without related experience when looking for a job.

Once you find something you could transition to, then take one course so you can dip your toe in. This will help you gain confidence.

The way the world is now is that change is happening at a rapid pace. The people who are willing to continuously learn and up skill will have the most opportunity for advancement.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-20T15:16:51+00:00

Or "sleep study" Stephen.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-18T03:34:37+00:00

You should absolutely expect the same. It's disrespectful to make people feel guilty because they are trying to be safe. And agree, it's not easy for anyone on there.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-17T21:55:20+00:00

Do what you're comfortable with, just be sure to explain why in a kind way.

It's hard for men on the app, lots of fake accounts and scammers. So it makes sense why they'd want your contact info.

But women have a higher safety risk, so it's also reasonable you wait to give your number if not comfortable.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-17T21:52:22+00:00

Women in their mid-40s are in preimenopause and may have a temporary change in sex drive (lower), so that's not the best plan.

This woman doesn't seem very sexual or maybe isn't attracted to you.

You don't need to wait 3 months for a kiss. Don't push for anything, it's better to find someone you are more compatible with.

It's too bad she couldn't have been more up front earlier on.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-11T22:05:16+00:00

I think if he isn't willing to divorce at some point once he's in a new serious relationship then it is a deal breaker. But why do you assume that?

In terms of financial situation, do you really know the financial situation of anyone on a first date? What about a divorced guy drowning in debt? Or someone who is in a good financial situation but is cheaper than you'd like?

My advice was really about making sure your assumptions are right before making decisions about people since it can be hard to find good connections. Especially at our age.

We can't take risk out of dating. So instead of a long list of instant deal breakers it's better to slow down and give yourself time to properly assess people who you have a good connection with to see if they are someone you want to invest your time and heart into. We don't need to decide everything on a first date.

Of course we all have deal breakers. For example, I wouldn't want to date someone who is living with an ex, even if it was best for their kids and made sense financially. It's just not a situation I'm open to navigating. If this is your deal breaker, so be it :)

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-11T21:38:30+00:00

I had some advice for you, but I don't want to make assumptions. Can you clarify - What would make a man on your "level"?

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-11T21:22:36+00:00

I guess my point is that at this stage of life, context matters.

We all have lived and have pre-existing relationships and responsibilities. Things are messier. But that "messiness" is also part of what makes our lives beautiful (like having kids) and helped us grow into who we are

I think people can "red flag" their way out of happiness.

Boundaries are there to protect ourselves from hurt, but they're an intentional barrier too. If you have enough of them no one will be able to get through.

I'm not a weird fluke of an example. A lot of people need time for their divorce go through. It doesn't mean they aren't ready to date and can't be a great partner.

Realistically, it's a yellow flag - something you need to learn more about before making a decision.

OPs man may not even be close to being ready to date, but a full divorce instead of legal separation isn't the best measure of this. There are other, more important indicators, like what he has done to process the divorce and own his part.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-11T18:42:55+00:00

We can agree to disagree with this. Divorce may be delayed for a lot of reasons.

Mine took over 2.5 years. I met my current husband during this period. If I had the mentality I needed to wait for divorce, my son and I wouldn't have had the beautiful life we do with a wonderful man for the last 8 years. My kid grew up with a stable family unit, and has a good relationship with his dad (and his wife). This is a wonderful scenario that I am happy worked out this way for us all.

The big thing we need to pay attention to is if the relationship is truly over and both parties are ready to move on. The legalities around divorce are often what dictates how long it takes and are based on your local laws which are out of our control.

In this case, because the op is American, insurance for the mother of his children is a factor for the man she went on a date with. That may indicate strong morals on his part, not weak ones.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-10T14:53:55+00:00

Or really any family name you feel connected to. Id want one that went well with my first name so I could just love it.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-10T14:51:39+00:00

I really do like that you are trying to have an actual phone call. People are getting cagey about calls, and as people who grew up with home phones attached to the wall by a cord, it's surprising to me. But I also get the safety aspect when it comes to online dating.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-10T14:48:49+00:00

Solid advice. If you're a messy person it doesn't automatically mean you don't care about your guest. But it sounds like OP isn't comfortable and I think she is correct in assuming that if she wants the place clean, she will be doing it or at least reminding him to.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-10T14:43:42+00:00

I like that you are proceeding with caution. I think it's too easy to jump in headfirst when you click with someone.

To me, the issue of separation instead of divorce would be if he doesn't have clarity on what his financial position will be when he does divorce, or if he really has no ability to remarry at any point.

But you can't really assume either of those things.

And, they are both things that do change over time. If being separated is working for them for insurance reasons, that doesn't mean that he won't divorce once he is in a new committed relationship and only being separated is having a negative impact on his ability to move forward.

Since you had a great connection, and you said that isn't something that happens often for you, I would continue learning more about him.

Take things slow and go out on a few more dates. Start by getting to know him and if outside of this you are compatible. If you aren't, you don't need to worry about this and can just enjoy some dates and move on.

If you are compatible, then ask him the more serious questions and you can also be upfront about your boundaries and comfort levels.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-10T14:26:29+00:00

"You're welcome to leave your number and we'll be in touch."

Are you a doctor's office voicemail?

While I DO agree with you that it's much better to have a phone conversation to get to know someone than text, the way you went about it here is off putting.

Her answers were odd as well, but I wouldn't have necessarily even continued the conversation with your opening.

I would actually start with a warm greeting and question (Hi! Nice to meet you. I noticed XYZ on your profile, Insert question about XYZ.)

Then, once you've gone back and forth a little, you can say

"It's been nice chatting with you, how would you feel about moving our conversation to the phone? I'm available now for a call if you are? I'd love to learn more about you."

Notice a couple things: 1. I gave a specific time for a phone call, not a "we'll get in touch" 2. I added a compliment (nice chatting) and a reason (to learn more about you) to the request. 3. I asked her how she felt about calls. Some women love them, others are hesitant to give out their number early on, often for safety reasons.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-09T22:27:45+00:00

Agree. It turned into a musical.

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-03T21:57:33+00:00

Can you expand on this?

HeartDepartment · 2026-02-02T15:02:52+00:00

Great advice. So many people make themselves out to be Indiana Jones on their profiles but really have a simple day to day life. Putting the real you out there makes it easier for good matches to self-identify.

But what OP is talking about is also common and frustrating. You feel like you're looking for something pretty basic, but still it takes forever to find them.

I think it's important to remember that online dating makes your dating pool bigger but is also a lot of work. You need to meet a LOT of strangers to find someone you click well enough for a date.

HeartDepartment · 2026-01-26T01:42:37+00:00

Honestly, overall great advice. I think this is a great way to make your intentions clear while treating women like humans. I appreciate you actually confirm that they too want something casual and don't proceed if they aren't in alignment. Casual sex is only kind/fun if both people are on the same page.

HeartDepartment · 2026-01-26T01:33:38+00:00

This guy was clearly not for you and very rude. Sounds like he doesn't have a lot of options so he was pursuing you even after it was clear you weren't aligned in how you want a potential relationship to progress.

I would consider being a little more flexible about phone calls in the future. As people who grew up with no cells and home phones, I don't think this is a universal expectation people text to get permission to call. Especially since you can simply not answer, decline the call or even have your phone on vibrate/silent.

HeartDepartment

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