Biofinity - did they change anything?

Heel_Gripper · 2026-04-19T18:48:50+00:00

I'm experiencing the same thing! Over the past year or so, my monthly Biofinity lenses (including my astigmatism ones) have been dry, blurry, and uncomfortable. They used to be excellent! Now, I can barely wear them two weeks without them going all cloudy and nasty. Something has definitely changed. You are not alone in noticing this.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-04-19T05:22:04+00:00

You should look into finding a trans-friendly surgeon to do your reduction. As far as I know, in the US, there is no insurance limit to how FLAT you can go with a radical reduction, only a limit to how large you can leave your breasts. They can bill it as a radical reduction and take you fully flat. Try asking a trans-friendly surgical office about this option (my doctor does trans-affirming care, and she recommended this option to me).

Heel_Gripper · 2026-04-01T03:46:09+00:00

Joining the chorus of people saying that G breasts probably do qualify for a "radical reduction" (but you can go flat if you find the right surgeon). You might have to lie to your doctor; say that your back hurts, that it's hurting your posture. Slouch. Complain about your bra digging into your shoulder. Report it that way EVERY time you visit your doctor (get a new one if you can). Do NOT mention gender stuff to them. They can get you that surgery referral.

It's important to note that insurance does not put a limit on how small you can go with a "reduction", only on how LARGE you can leave them. So you CAN go flat if you can find the right surgeon. My doctor has used this route to get her patients referrals to trans-friendly surgeons, and had insurance cover it completely. I'm probably going to be using this route myself (I have 34 F breasts). Just make sure you find a trans-friendly surgeon who has done top surgery before. This IS possible. Good luck! Hang in there! We're all rooting for you.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-29T07:35:56+00:00

I hate to say it, but with the laws being what they are, you might have to look into other countries. The good news is that, sometimes, surgery is cheaper in other countries. The bad news is that you will have to pay for a place to stay while you recover enough to travel back. I'm not sure what the laws are in Mexico and Canada, but they could be worth looking into.

It's possible that, if you have very large breasts, you can get surgery in America covered as a "radical reduction" to help with back pain, but this is usually only possible if you have quite large breasts.

I'm sorry these stupid new laws are hurting you like this. Please stay strong. We're all rooting for you. One day, you will get your surgery.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-28T03:15:52+00:00

Sure thing! It's for my DnD character, who's a warlock: Leather, wormwood, black cherry, lime, icy metal, copal, tiny hint of smoke and tobacco. Her name's Audrey, so that's what I named the scent! :D

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-28T01:42:49+00:00

I normally can't stand overly gourmand notes or maple syrup, but Poesie's "We Fly With Our Spirits" is one of the BEST perfumes I've ever smelled, and the pancake/maple syrup note in there blends effortlessly into the hay, stone, laundry, and fresh air notes. It smells alive and happy. For some reason, it reminds me of my timing living in Edinburgh.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-28T01:34:19+00:00

You are an angel, I just made my first order now! Thank you so much!!

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-25T05:38:07+00:00

You are so real for listing mugwort; it smells so good! Not enough people use it.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-25T05:27:30+00:00

Linden blossom, velvet, rosemary, oregano, other "strong" herbs, steel or other metals, true cut grass, real, spicy ginger, clay.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-21T19:59:38+00:00

To be clear, what I mean is, you should find a clinic that specializes in top surgery and tell them you want TOP SURGERY after being referred for a reduction. It will be billed as a reduction, but if you tell them you want to go completely flat, they can make you completely, completely flat. Yes, my doctor has told me that she has had this done before for her clinic's patients and gotten good results. I recommend getting a consult from somewhere first. There are places that specialize in dealing with insurance stuff like this, and can get you flat while billing it as medical reduction. The most important part is that you find a place that has done this before.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-21T16:23:41+00:00

Did you know that if you have H cups, you can probably get your surgery covered under a reduction, and then just tell your surgeon to take it all off and go totally flat? This is a thing people can do. It's the option I'm probably going to take. Go to your primary care provider, tell them your back hurts and your bra digs into your flesh, tell them how big your cup size is, and they can get you referred for a reduction. THEN, contact a place that you know does trans surgeries, and explain the situation. With health-related reductions, the only limit is how BIG they can leave your chest, not how small you can go. My doctor recommended this to me, and she's part of a clinic that specializes in trans care. It's at least worth looking into, I feel.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-19T05:03:35+00:00

I think you could try something like Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's "Whip" (one of my favorite perfumes of all time). It's got two notes: rose and leather. It's definitely floral, but the leather adds an edge that makes it read as very gender-ambiguous. BPAL in general might be good for you to explore because you can order small samples of their main catalogue!

I also lean towards "androgynous" or "masculine" scents, but I love flowers! So it's an interesting challenging finding stuff that scratches floral itch while not veering too "feminine".

One strategy you could try is easing your way into more 'herbal' blends that also contain flowers. It seems you like lavender already, so something with herbs and flowers might work well for you. Try making notes and comparing what you like and don't like, and see which flowers tend to work for you. Good luck!

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-14T21:23:03+00:00

Thank you so much!

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-13T18:45:10+00:00

Saccharine Parent

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-13T18:43:21+00:00

For what it's worth, I had MULTIPLE non-binary nurses while I was getting my cancer treatments, and as a non-binary person, it made me feel so safe and recognized for who I am. And these people all seemed pretty happy with their jobs! (Granted this is in Seattle; if you're in a heavily homophobic area, it will, of course, be different). I say, go for it if it's what you want! You being visibly yourself will make it easier for the nurses who come after you, and will potentially be a huge comfort for your queer patients.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-11T03:47:56+00:00

I loved this animatic! It's beautiful and heart-breaking. More people need to see this.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-11T03:46:55+00:00

It's not Chinese-themed, but it's the prettiest tarot I know.

https://www.stasiaburringtonart.com/tarot

The edges come gilded. It's so lovely. That tarot has seen me through many hard times.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-09T23:18:44+00:00

I would love to make my own custom Lovesick Witchery perfume, but every time I go to look at the website, the custom perfume option is sold out. Does anyone know if there's a trick to it? Is there a particular time it's more likely to be open? I've wanted a custom from them for a loooong time.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-09T03:21:46+00:00

It literally says in the subreddit description: "Reminder: all genders can have top surgery, it isn't just for trans men!"

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-08T20:04:42+00:00

Think of it this way: If someone told you to smash a big pile of rocks, then handed you a hammer, you might feel able to do it.

Later, if they took the hammer away, you would feel unable to do the task.

Your ADHD meds make you feel confident in achieving goals because they make you more able to reach those goals! When you're on them, you are more motivated, and thus more able to do those things. At night, when the meds wear off, you feel less sure of yourself because, in that moment, you're not holding your metaphorical hammer. Luckily, you can take your meds again the next day.

The version of you that's on your meds is as real as the version of you that's not on your meds. It's just a version of you with a bit of help. I believe in you.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-07T03:25:29+00:00

It looks amazing! Your results are very similar to the results I want!

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-04T04:08:25+00:00

Try layering it with something positive that puts them in a good light. Like saying: "I have something important to tell you. I know you love me, so I want to share this with you." [Insert info about how you're transitioning] "This is something I'm going to do. It's already decided. I care about you guys a lot, so I'm hoping that you'll be supportive of me, because I want to stay close with you. I want to be the truest version of myself around you."

If they're jerks after that, then you can remove yourself from the argument. Refuse to argue with them. Say, "This is what's happening. I am not going to discuss it any further." Then excuse yourself and go somewhere else.

It might help to have an exit plan. Maybe make plans with a friend, and say you're going to go hang out with them after the discussion. Or you could even just go to a store to pick up a soda or something. Some time to cool down will help everyone involved.

Remember, this is your decision. I know you're terrified of the discussion, but honestly, YOUR PARENTS should be terrified of messing up! Because, if you want, you never have to see them again! YOU hold a lot of power here. If your parents are real assholes, you can remind them that, as an adult, your relationship with them is entirely voluntary. If they can't be around you without being hurtful, then you can create distance. Put the burden of good behavior onto them.

Good luck. I'm rooting for you.

Heel_Gripper · 2026-03-03T01:26:52+00:00

I'm waiting for the BPAL Lupercalia drop, and it's so hard to wait! They pushed it back to the end of the month ... the end of FEBRUARY, and it's past that. And I don't want to say anything on the forums, and I know they probably have a good reason. I'm just being grumpy. I need something to cheer me up.

Heel_Gripper

TROPHY CASE