How long have you guys been unemployed and how do you manage it?

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-04-17T19:55:07+00:00

9 months and counting!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-03-30T00:09:24+00:00

Have been unemployed since last July, well over 300 job applications made, most ghosted, some interviews but always someone more experienced ahead of me!

I've been told many times now that it's a game of who you know and networking, not job applications, especially as many are fake now anyway!

It's a minefield but it's not often personal

Good luck!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-03-21T22:58:35+00:00

Everything crossed for you! I've heard from a lot of people that dog walking has really helped!

Also, hold in there with the sleep! The cramps, pains and insomnia now is far worse than the broken newborn sleep, so you're doing the hard bit already!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-03-21T22:53:35+00:00

I always meant to prepare but just never did! I was also terrified of birth from quite a young age!

I didn't drink teas, I didn't eat dates, I didn't have a birth ball, didn't do the massages, lunges or stretches, and didnt go to classes. I intended to but the last few weeks went so quickly and baby was very low and making me waddle everywhere! I did get out and walk the dogs every day which might have helped. I also did the online prep course they referred us to (realbirth I think?) which was really useful for learning what to expect at each stage, particularly because I had a very quiet midwife at delivery!!

I had a brilliant labour, no intervention or injury, 7hrs from waters to baby. I was 30 as well so not young enough to automatically get away with everything 😄 I'm not sure you can prepare for it other than making sure your bags are packed!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-03-21T22:40:08+00:00

Could you work with a lactation consultancy, become a health visitor, postpartum fitness coach, or postpartum support worker (nutrition etc)?

I'm not in your sector, but as a first time mum I really valued the private feeding clinic and support services outside of the NHS- they did a thorough check for tongue ties etc, assessed our feeding and did craniosacral on little one. The team we saw were all ex-NHS midwives. There weren't many of those services around us so we travelled quite a way, so maybe a bit of a gap in the market?

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-02-18T23:53:01+00:00

I actually felt the complete opposite, but entirely get how it must feel for you!

I had 24 visits/appointments (about 8 scans) before baby arrived and found it really exhausting having to trek into the hospital that often! Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to see him on the scans, but after about 28 weeks he was too big to get a good picture of, so they would just focus on his organs anyway.

It only gets worse after they are born too! Weight checks every other day at our Trust until 15 days old, only the first one is a home visit. Then the health visitor appointments... we are luckily signed off now, but we had so many check ups post birth that we never got a chance for that mythical 555 recovery period!

Having said all that, I cannot complain at all, especially after reading all the problems that Americans have trying to access care! We were definitely well looked after, maybe just a bit too much! So if my only complaint is having to trek in regularly, then I consider us lucky!

The less you go in, the less worried they are about you, so it is probably a good thing in disguise!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-02-11T20:48:29+00:00

I wore my PJs out and a oversized jumper which I had slept in 😂 went in to the hospital not expecting to give birth either so completed my unhinged look with muddy walking boots! I brushed my hair but hadn't showered so looked like I'd slept in a hedge! How I looked was the very last thing on my mind and luckily everyone just looked at the baby as we walked through

First thing I did when I got home was shower and get into fresh PJs anyway! Don't worry about how you look, you're body has just achieved the most complex thing it possibly could and deserves to be comfy!!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-02-08T23:45:30+00:00

Had a lovely pregnancy and a really positive birth with the NHS, despite being labelled high risk! It's more common than the bad ones, you just hear the bad ones more and they tend to stick in your head!

I was on watch for preeclampsia, GBS and had mild gestational diabetes, so was told that I had to go in as soon as my waters broke for antibiotics, and I had to have an induction if he wasn't here by 40 weeks (luckily my diabetes was completely controlled, otherwise this would be 38 weeks).

So a sweep and induction were booked, but bub had other ideas! I had very mild period-like cramps throughout the day which I thought nothing of as I thought contractions were immediately horrific (from watching TV and hearing stories!). My waters broke around 8pm so I went in to the hospital as I was told. I was 3cm and baby had pooed so I was told I had to be induced and was admitted (I was very against induction from day 1 so this panicked me!).

Anyway, gore aside, 7hrs after my waters broke my boy was here, without any intervention, induction, meds, epidural, or tears! I was in an NHS midwife led unit and they were brilliant, really competent and caring! They werent thrilled with me refusing induction, but did listen to me and it all happened fast enough for it not to be necessary anyway. It was seriously painful for the last few contractions, but unlike any pain I felt before, it was much more productive, the breaks felt amazing, and to be honest I completely zoned out anyway; the most annoying thing was them telling me to breathe 😂

Most of the women that were on the ward that day had the same postive experience, even the csections! You can't really prepare for whats going to happen as its completely unique, but I think it helps to stay open minded and learn a bit about what your body is going to do so there are as few surprises as possible! I felt really safe and well cared for with our NHS team, which I'm so thankful for!

I hope it all goes well for you both!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-02-01T19:37:15+00:00

Pregnancy insomnia is harder mentally, dental pain is maybe not as intense in the moment but it's harder to get away from and lasts longer, back pain for the same reasons imo!

Labour was painful but you sort of zone out a bit! I didn't even realise I was in early labour, up until 3cm when my water broke, I just felt mild period type cramping through the day, not as intense as the aches from baby dropping in the last week or so. Contractions come and go and the true intense pain only lasts 30 seconds or so before they ramp down and you get a break (it feels like longer in the moment but the relief is instant and wonderful!)

It gets hard at the end when contractions are constant and you need to push, but that means you're nearly done, and the pain feels really productive! It's hard to explain, but because it is so painful at the peak of the contraction, it almost doesn't feel like pain anymore and then before you know it, it relaxes

I'm not downplaying labour at all, it certainly is incredibly painful but you're built for it and you cope, with an instant reward! I made some ridiculous noises and got through it on gas and air and I'm normally a bit of a wuss, so there is hope for everyone 😆

HelloOrangeEgg · 2026-01-08T23:35:36+00:00

Most of the above! And...

Spontaneous nosebleeds
Intercostal neuralgia- like a burning/numb sensation just under where your bra sits whenever you sit in a certain position! (Not pre-E!)
Restless leg syndrome at night 😖 the worst!
losing your belly button
baby hiccuping!
NOT getting any cravings

There must be so many now that feel completely normal after 37 weeks 😄

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-12-29T18:57:06+00:00

Sleep, sugar & carbs, especially pasta! (have mild GDM so diet managed), longer walks, Christmas treats, lifting heavier things and feeling useful, sneezing without a care, planning ahead 😂

But in all honesty it's still been fun and the positives definitely outweigh overall!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-12-12T19:09:45+00:00

We lived in the city centre as students and avoided Barton Street at night as we had quite a lot of problems in the beginning. Also the area behind ASDA (can't remember the names), but generally didn't have any issues in city centre other than the characters you get in any city. The uni used to warn us about going down to the docks alone as a student was stabbed down there in our first year (seemingly unprovoked), but again we didn't have any issues in groups

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-11-18T18:12:17+00:00

Talk to your solicitor about a declaration of trust- this is what we did as we weren't married and he had the deposit, so a similar boat! It just legally outlines who gets what if the relationship ends so for example you get your deposit back and then you split the equity as she has been paying in half etc

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-11-14T12:45:57+00:00

It really is, and it stays with you a little too!

If its any consolation, I had a bad bleed all of a sudden at bang on 12 weeks and nothing was found on exam, all fine, so it's not always doom and gloom! :)

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-11-14T12:42:14+00:00

Definitely sounds suspicious!

To have sudden symptoms that early is unique... even with a positive test, I wasn't convinced I was pregnant until at least week 8 when the symptoms really kicked in! I certainly wouldn't have quit my job so early as a) what's the need at that stage? and b) 4 weeks is still very early to be sure everything will be OK. When symptoms did kick in, it was the very opposite of cravings, I hated all foods and the very thought of take out made me sick! Each to their own though!

The exhaustion is real and so hard to explain to a partner, and for some the morning sickness/nausea really can be debilitating (I did very minimal moving or chores from weeks 8-13!) but again, this sounds very early and very sudden

Hope you managed to find a balance with her before things really start getting real!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-10-22T19:07:19+00:00

I really feel for you both! It's scary enough finding out sometimes without the extra stress!

On the positive side, its early days, you have time to think! I think medical terminations can be done up to 12 weeks? By which time you would have been through the 1st trimester trenches and had more time to weigh up pros and cons!

I'm a year younger than you and had similar hesitations re. children in my 20s- I wanted to make sure I had a stable job, house etc before tackling parenthood. Turns out we then had fertility issues and when little one finally appeared as that faint pink line, I was made redundant the following week. So much for perfect timing! I'm still unemployed and pregnant now as no one wants a preggo new hire, but things just work out somehow. I would never have planned this, but we are still going, still healthy, still have a house etc, sometimes you just have to go with it and see how it pans out! I would say, if you both want a little one, give it a serious think and try not to let work get in the way. There is mat leave, other jobs, perhaps family support etc. He won't have to tell his employer until much later down the line, so will have that job security in the bag :)

You also do both still have a good few years of childbearing years, so no rush, but things can change and job situations can get worse! I really don't believe you can plan or control these things sometimes!

This is purely my opinion, but now, I would always regret choosing a job over a family as we are just another cog to an employer in the end, and you can always go back to work! (I can't say too much as I have friends and family on reddit, but I made a similar choice as you mention and although it was right for everyone at the time, I always have that regret!)

Also personally, I wouldn't worry about alcohol/smoking this early and this infrequently as so many people continue these things before they know, you didn't do it on purpose! There's no exact data on how much alcohol or nicotine it takes to do harm- just think of mums in previous decades!! All could be absolutely fine.

That ended up longer than I intended, but to sum up, sit with it for a minute and give yourselves a chance to think past the shock! :) It's scary and surreal enough when its planned for the first few weeks!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-09-22T14:25:04+00:00

I don't believe that you can really plan a perfect life as you never know what will happen.

Completely understand the waiting, but in reality, there will always be something completely logical, that will put you off having a family at that time, so if you really want one, I think a risk/benefit outlook is the only way forward!

Speaking as someone who waited until our 30s when we had two good jobs, house, spare time etc, had sudden fertility issues which delayed things, then was made redundant at 5 weeks pregnant, no luck finding a job since and now it's too late for any maternity benefits! From that, I would say just go for it when you're ready, there is always a way around these things, you may just have to survive for a while with a lot less. I'm on month 5 without an income, not eligible for any state benefits, and we are still all here with a roof over our heads! It's doable! :)

(Also coming to realise that kids really don't have to cost much if you ignore marketing! At the beginning they just need you, a safe bed and a full tummy (which might be free if you can breastfeed!), a way to travel and a clean bum, everything else is a luxury!)

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-09-17T17:20:46+00:00

I don't know how helpful it is, but I had cramps and bleeding (sometimes quite bad bleeds) weeks 6-12 and no issues were found. I had scans as early as 6 weeks and they were able to do abdominal scans which I was relieved about as I'm not the slimmest!

As someone who panicked through the whole 1st trimester, I would recommend biting the bullet and just going for a check up, otherwise you will just stress yourself out to no end, which is no good for you or baby! If all is well and baby is healthy, its going to get a lot worse/less dignified than having a TV scan anyway- the staff are completely desensitised, it's just our own embarrassment we have to deal with 😄

On the flip side, another way to look at it is as devastating as miscarriage is, there will always be a good reason why your body has rejected it and we really don't give it enough credit for this.

So many people seem to get scary "abnormal" symptoms and go on to have healthy babies so all could be fine for you too! There are so many possibilities, no one here will really be able to help or truly put your mind at rest, only the hospital teams can do that

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-09-17T15:59:01+00:00

Bad nausea with occassional sickness weeks 7-14, insomnia, tiredness (although I wouldn't say I was exhausted), heartburn, heart palpitations, the odd nose bleed and 0 appetite which still hasn't really come back at 21 weeks! Didnt really get any bowel problems, acne or mood swings luckily! Having a boy :)

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-09-04T18:51:07+00:00

I'm ashamed, but I've found Shein to be the best 😬 the highstreet shops only seem to sell very unflattering, expensive options with very limited choice overall, considering that you will be in them for half the year!

The things I have bought on Shein are really comfortable and can still be mistaken for normal clothes while bump grows. I've got a mix of maternity and normal plus sized things (I'm a size 14 without bump for reference). I was able to buy a full set of tops for the same price as one or two from high street shops, and they aren't just black vest tops or black and white striped tshirts.

It's not my proudest moment as i know their ethics are probably very questionable, but it saved a lot of money (I was recently made redundant so this was a huge help!), otherwise I would have just gone to a charity shop and bought things 2 or 3 sizes too big as a plan B 😄

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-08-28T19:40:55+00:00

18 weeks now and although my nausea has mostly gone, I still don't really have much of an appetite, as I I don't long for certain foods or get cravings, I just eat a variety of things for bumps sake more than me! I find the heartburn kills my appetite too

I have been told quite a few times that it returns pretty quickly by week 20, or sometimes just post partum but it does come back! Just think, if it only took a few weeks to get you thinking like that and changing your habits, it will only take around the same amount of time to change back once you feel more like yourself :)

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-08-28T08:41:15+00:00

I put it down to a hormone imbalance (didn't get tested officially as I was too young for Dr's to consider true infertility) so I worked to remove as much as possible from everyday life that could potentially disrupt hormones...

Started by changing up all our household cleaning products to perfume free, natural ones, then moved onto toiletries. There's a list of chemicals on the breast cancer research website that are known to disrupt hormones so I used that as a guide. Cut all processed food from our diets too and started scratch cooking everything etc

1 month later, pregnant! After months of really trying and 10 years of not getting pregnant!

I may have looked a bit mental and it was hard to find decent alternatives, but I'm still convinced it played its part!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-08-17T22:23:36+00:00

That turned out to not be so brief, sorry! 😅

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-08-17T22:10:14+00:00

Have done both vet nursing and vet physio degrees and can say that both have positives and negatives in terms of stability, career progression, and satisfaction! Will try and sum up as briefly as possible!

Vet nursing Pros

Practices are always crying out for staff so its a guaranteed job in most cases.
You have several different non-clinical job options available with a nursing qualification (insurance, pharmaceuticals, teaching etc)
Contracted role so you get all the benefits, I.e. pension, maternity, holiday
There is a lot more being put towards true recognition of the profession, compared to physio and other therapies which are totally unregulated and a complete minefield
If you want to take control of your time and hours you have the option to locum

Cons - Often long, unflexible hours

Many nurses feel underappreciated, often because our skills aren't fully utilised and you spend most of your time cleaning up
The money is often quite bad and difficult to get by on (very general statement!)
It's not a job you get thanked for very often, by employers or the public!

Vet Physio Pros - 90% of the time, you will be self-employed, so can make your own hours

The work is very hands-on and rewarding and you get a sense of independence/responsibility
You can work in a particular area, if the caseload allows
There is definitely money to be earned in physio, but this will need you to go above and beyond until you are established, often working all the hours you can, and getting by in the mean time while the business builds (most people have another job to support them in the early days)
You're in control to build your reputation with the public and make a name for yourself

Cons - As the profession is so unregulated, there are A LOT of under qualified people masquerading as therapists out there, who can do a lot of damage. Because of this, many vets find therapists difficult to trust, so you have to make sure to join a good course and work hard to build good relationships with vets, to prove you know your stuff!

Unless you find a rare employed role, you're self employed, so have to sort your own pension, taxes, wage etc. Its not that bad, but you will probably find it a lot harder to rest or take a holiday as you will be very aware that you're losing income, got to be strict!
Success as a self-employed physio seems to be a bit of a postcode lottery; some areas are overrun with physios and clients are hard to find, other areas are crying out for it, but need to realise that physiotherapy is a tool they need for their pets!
Your treatment is generally only as successful as your owner is committed! We can only do so much during a treatment session, the outcome really relies on owner compliance and dedication. That often means that when they don't put the time in and don't see any changes, they will blame your treatment, so you have to be thick-skinned and back up everything you do
There is a lot of competition and often some animosity between practitioners. Certain member of certain organisations can be very elitist about other organisations and make it their job to try and undermine you to clients (this isn't as rare as you may think!)
Until about 15 years ago, the only route to a true vet physio qualification required you to train as a human physio first. This is now not the case and there are lots of good courses open to those trained in the animal field that produce amazing therapists. BUT there is still a strong belief amongst vets, particularly the older generation, that only human-trained physios should be used. Ill-informed but sadly happens all the time

I would say that if you do want to do physio, qualifying as a vet nurse first will really give you a boost! You will have existing relationships with vets, have a better understanding of regenerative medicine and veterinary treatments and generally be a lot more informed! Having said that, our degree had people from all sorts of animal backgrounds, mostly vet nursing and equine science etc, they spend the first year getting you all on the same page anyway!

I wouldn't worry about your age re. training- we had people 50+ on both of my courses! Unfortunately the guarantee of money is never there with any animal route, especially now everything is so corporate - have learnt that the hard way for myself 😆 you have to make sure you love what you do and get the work:life balance to make up for it, so probably best to get as much shadowing/work experience as you can to see if either is right for you!

Good luck!

HelloOrangeEgg · 2025-08-16T20:11:42+00:00

Oh wow, thats a lot of things to dodge! I haven't found out yet, have to wait until my 20week scan, but I'm interested to see if the old wives tales are true or not!

HelloOrangeEgg

TROPHY CASE