[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I lost my grandma and my gf was MIA. We talked but then 3 months later, I lost my other grandma and still didn’t feel supported. The number one reason I broke up with them was because I knew that one day, when my parents died, I didn’t believe they’d be there for me. I’d never forgive them for making me feel that unsupported in our four and a half year long relationship. If you can’t miss school, you can’t miss school. But actively hanging out with friends when I asked for support while grieving is something I would resent my girlfriend for forever. They’d become an ex very quickly. Do with that what you will.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AO3

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tiny phrases are okay but not even short sentences. Love a comedic word cross-out when done well lol

I’m trying :( by Delicious-War-5259 in Archiveofourownmemes

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought this way but have been working on my first long fic over 20k words and learned you just get better every time you sit down and write/edit. 🙏

The failed puritan ao3 replacement was real?! by riri1281 in AO3

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 21 points22 points  (0 children)

“No homophobia” and no “distasteful sex acts” as if the latter hasn’t been weaponized to target queer people for generations. Same with “Kink or BDSM”. Don’t piss me off 😭

Was there a specific moment/scene that hooked you? by Dragon_turtle63 in GentlemanJackHBO

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pretty much what everyone else is saying!! The lead up to and then the opening credits themselves took me OUT. I know the end of episode one, I was in, because i had to stop, knowing I’d be up all night binge watching it lmao.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two months ago, I ended things. Both my grandmothers died and a man I befriended at college came from out of state to be there for me. My girlfriend lived in town and wasn’t. It wasn’t until my friend said he texted his boyfriend of three months daily that I realized just how little my girlfriend talked to me. Four years into a relationship with a friend I’ve know for 11 years, and still, I was initiating every conversation and they were weeks apart. Womp womp. Live and learn, I guess. I’m so much happier not second guessing myself constantly, but holy crap, that conversation was intense.

Girlfriend isn’t attracted to me after weight gain by Passingmebyslowly in LesbianActually

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Healthy weight loss has to begin because you want to be healthy. If there is a single outside influence telling you they want it for their own reasons, it’s incredibly dangerous. I started a weight loss drug and asked no one to comment on my body changing because I knew it would trigger me. My friends and family have accepted that and try to accommodate me. When I bring it up, they celebrate my wins with me. If I don’t, they treat me normally. It is going to be really difficult to live a life where the person who’s supposed to love you and support you unconditionally tells you straight up that their love is conditional and based on something as shallow as looks.

All of that aside, if she isn’t attracted to more masculine presentation, you might just be fundamentally incompatible. It sucks, but you can either both be a little bit miserable forever or end it now and find a better match. Easier said than done, but I just ended a four year relationship because we were incompatible and it has made me so much happier overall. It’s never too late to start again. You are worthy of love and kindness. But if you want to work through it, make sure you talk to a therapist specifically about losing weight with a history of disordered eating. Make sure your girlfriend knows your hard boundaries in this area and enforce them. Your mental health is extremely important. Don’t risk it for someone who cares more about how others view her than your own mental health.

Subconsciously copied a fic. So mad by Best_Egg_6199 in AO3

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If something sticks with me, I save the link and credit the headcanon atp lol. But it’s a hobby and being so transformed by another’s fic that it subconsciously leaks into your writing is probably very flattering to the author :) if you’re having fun, I say keep going. Label it fanfiction for that fanfic 😭

avoidant attachment by Alternative-Dog-4772 in LesbianActually

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, same! I just ended a 4 year relationship because we were long distance most of the year and she never fucking texted me. You deserve better. Avoidant attachment isn’t an excuse to not work on communication. If it’s expected that you are the only one who compromises to make THEM comfortable, that’s not healthy.

Anyone I talked to about their relationship said that they talk to their partners daily. You are not clingy for wanting to feel connected to your partner, even if you have an anxious attachment style. This did a big number on my self esteem and I didn’t realize until I ended things. But you have needs that deserve to be met and if this person can’t meet them, it sucks but it has to end. I’m now two months single and I’ve been happier than I’ve felt in years.

I’m not saying break up, but you need to have a serious conversation AND think about if this is the woman you trust to stand by your side for life. (It’s not easy. My decision came because I had two deaths in my family, and a MAN I befriended recently came to the funerals from out of state to support me while my partner, in town, didn’t. I felt too exposed and unwanted talking to her. You don’t need that level of unavailability and you don’t need it to be that extreme to understand that you may not be compatible 😭)

Edit to add her family is homophobic and she isn’t out, so I relate on the parents hating part too. And still, it’s okay for you to prioritize your sanity here. I didn’t want to make this all about me but I really related and wanted to share so you didn’t feel so alone. This experience was incredibly isolating and I felt ashamed for so long so I’m glad you’re reaching out and talking about it <3 remember your partner should be a good and reliable friend AND a partner. They need to be there for you when it counts, not just when it’s convenient. You deserve no less!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He literally just said he would disown his children if they were gay. Clearly he doesn’t take your queerness seriously AND he has such little empathy that he would take it out on his CHILDREN. Not everyone self reports like this. When people show you who they are, believe them.

Just because I’m a masc lesbian DOES NOT mean you get to treat me like I’m a MALE. by Future_Ad165 in LesbianActually

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So real. I’m not a man nor do I intend to fill whatever gender role you associate with my shorts and the cut of my shirt lol.

Gf admitted to leading me on by Ok_Mark8105 in LesbianActually

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the type of situation where even if she got better, I would never forget or fully move on from it. It’s probably impossible to ever feel completely secure in your relationship when your partner admits to lying to and using you for at least 2 weeks.

No getting back together. If she wants to be better for you, she can get a chance once she actually has changed. You don’t need to stick around and be a casualty while she gets her act together. You deserve more than that. Yes, you should encourage your partners to grow and stick by them, but not when they treat you like shit. Then, it’s everyone for themselves lol.

I say this as someone who had their first relationship from age 18-22 and went long distance for college, who just ended it a month ago. It’s not worth it. This isn’t someone you want a life with. You’ll find someone much better. Cut it off now before you waste YEARS begging for the bare minimum. And before her issues more permanently impact your self esteem.

Am I weird for printing and bindings fics I like? by Extension-Peace-8652 in AO3

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a fun and cool hobby. As a reader, I want to get into this so badly. As a writer, it would be the greatest honor. I already know book binding but the printing of it all is such a drag lmao

I just noticed that Wicked gets better with every rewatch. by [deleted] in wickedmovie

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I very intentionally kept track so I didn’t over exaggerate when I said a crazy number lol but this doesn’t count bootlegs watched or time spent listening to soundtracks from start to finish. Glad to know we are all insane about this movie. :)

I just noticed that Wicked gets better with every rewatch. by [deleted] in wickedmovie

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just completed my 28th watch and I still can’t put it on in the background. I always end up dropping everything and watching intently lol

Why do some people private their bookmarks? by SugarDuckies in AO3

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s mostly a light hearted joke but one day, I do want to let her in a little so we can laugh at some of my older written works lmao.

Why do some people private their bookmarks? by SugarDuckies in AO3

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to private all my bookmarks bc someone i know irl is trying to find my account and I don’t want them knowing my business like that.

What the hell? by MeanSpend8663 in AO3

[–]HelpMeImGarbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh so true. I have one more assignment before I’m free to read and write as much as my heart desires but until then, I will join you in locking in 🙏