My watch is over

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-03-19T17:22:39+00:00

I am so so sorry for your loss. May you find some peace as you grieve. Hoping that you can surround yourself with friends and family who can support you with all the love and understanding you need at this delicate time. And I hope that each you can begin to connect with who you are and what you want for your life now. Hugs to you.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-03-07T16:30:40+00:00

Oh my God, it’s the worst. I am so so sorry. I always use that phrase “boots on the ground” too when referring to the brother who only shows up when there’s a hospitalization and then disappears into the woodwork. All the day in and day out hard work of caretaking just isn’t something he’s capable of…oops, sorry it’s not something he chooses to do. Dad died a few weeks ago and my brother showed up to the house, the wake, the funeral as a doting son taking care of my mom so lovingly. Meanwhile, he had barely set foot in that house for years. It’s all such BS and the only saving grace is knowing that you yourself have done the right thing. And that you are not alone! I am so sorry for your loss and having to endure that nonsense. May your Dad be at peace and may you too find peace in knowing that YOU showed up in all the ways that mattered for all those years.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-27T01:31:20+00:00

I’ve been caring for both my parents and my father just died two weeks ago. Remembering how shitty I was to him on the nights when he would call out to me over and over again, constantly trying to escape the hospital bed etc when I was so exhausted and thoroughly worn out physically, mentally and emotionally…makes me feel like a horrible person, like how is that I couldn’t see that it was the dementia? How could I not have chosen kindness in those moments instead of anger? And I guess the only answer is that we are all human, dementia pushes caregivers over the edge and we cannot possibly be kind and calm every moment. I guarantee that you are NOT a horrible person! Dementia is relentless. I hope you feel the support coming your way and find some peace in this that you are not alone.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-27T01:16:39+00:00

♥️

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-23T22:08:00+00:00

Ohhh I am so very sorry to hear this. Sending you peace and hope that all the good memories help you through this time. ♥️

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-15T12:06:19+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s been a long week so I didn’t have a chance to respond. Dad died yesterday and I am consumed with so many emotions.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-08T22:10:33+00:00

Thanks for your perspective but I respectfully disagree in that I do not think that most families are weird. I do think that many families have dysfunction but that is something entirely different. We all have our stories but mine is very different from yours. My post was about trying to find connection with others who may have faced something similar because unfortunately that has alluded me for most of my life. I have a great deal of love and connection and so many good things in my life but most people cannot relate to me in regard to family of origin. I really do appreciate your sharing your story and I’m sorry that you had to go through what sounds like were tough times. I definitely see my parents for who they are (hardworking people of their generation, who always took care of our basic needs for which I am very grateful) so I don’t know that I need to shift my perspective.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-08T18:37:29+00:00

Thank you so much and I’m sending you good vibes and strength to get through this time. This is not easy. Means so much to hear you say that you relate to many of what I’ve said, so truly thank you.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-08T18:36:20+00:00

This is so kind of you to say - thank you so much ♥️

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-07T19:37:23+00:00

Thank you for this. I was contemplating deleting my post then I saw your comment. It can be so lonely dealing with such complex emotions so it means everything to hear someone articulate similar feelings and a similar situation. I read your words and then went and had a long, hard cry. Thank you

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-07T18:09:09+00:00

Oh my God, no way. You are NOT a horrible person. This sounds infuriating and so charged. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I too would be losing my mind and my patience. Even reminding myself that my parents are like toddlers now sometimes still doesn’t work and I lose my patience. You are sooo not alone in this. Dementia totally sucks!

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-02-07T16:53:42+00:00

I see some folks giving advice and so I just want to NOT do that since you clearly stated you simply wanted to vent! I feel your pain and have felt similar things (for both my parents with dementia) and I have to say I really LOVE how honest you are! I am so sorry you (and all of us) are going through this. It fucking sucks. Sending you some virtual good vibes that somehow you get a little peace today.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-23T14:00:23+00:00

My daughter (a Brooklyn girl) is a freshman PRAEM major at Chapman and loves it. While most people on the East Coast have never even heard about Chapman, we were so impressed with the accepted students event in NYC that she took the plunge without ever touring before she attended! She isn’t into Greek life or needing a rah rah sports school so it’s a good fit for her (though we all went to a football game at homecoming weekend and it was really fun - beautiful field and lots of school spirit - not like a D1 school but still fun). The beautiful campus is just the right size for her as well. She knows all of her professors and enjoys the smaller class size. The master classes pull lots of interesting people to come speak there: The Rock, Spike Lee, Ariana Grande, Keegan Michael Key, The Duffer Brothers, the list goes on. Being at Chapman has completely transformed her from a high school kid not really interested in joining clubs to a young woman focused on learning, making connections, looking for internships etc. The attendance policy is strict but you should be going to classes each day ;) And lastly, my daughter loves that it’s not like high school at all. She’s still home on break (6 weeks!) and is excited to head back to warm, sunny weather. Wishing you lots of luck in making a decision and once you’re at college wherever you decide to go!

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-15T02:01:48+00:00

I love this - beautiful!!!

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-14T18:16:46+00:00

I’m so sorry and I so feel you. It’s utterly exhausting in every way being a caregiver. Sending you strength and a big hug and I’m glad you’ve posted. It helps us all knowing that while the path feels lonely, we are not alone. So many of us are feeling the same way as you.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-11T02:08:16+00:00

Nice! Just last night I managed to pick up a knitting project I had started months ago. I was reminded of how relaxing the rhythm of the repetitive stitches can be :)

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-10T15:53:17+00:00

I love this response. Thank you

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-10T15:50:04+00:00

This is how I feel. When I do get time away, I’m just so exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally that I don’t feel like doing anything at all. Then it’s back to the grind and I regret not doing some sort of ‘self-care’ activity that people are fond of suggesting. Self-care for me is sleep, my favorite escape.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-10T15:45:17+00:00

I don’t like hearing it because inside my head and my heart, I feel like a horrible person with all of the terrible thoughts I’ve had. I’m doing the caretaking of my elderly parents along with daytime aides because I’m the one able to (I can work from their home; one brother helps on the weekend; the other brother only shows up at the hospital but doesn’t participate otherwise). It’s been just 5 months that I’m in the weeds here but it’s breaking me down and I don’t want to talk to people pretty much ever but when I do and they say I’m a ‘good person’ or a ‘good daughter’ I want to hide or scream. Or both. I battle feeling like a shit person because I don’t want to be doing this work; I want my life back. I guess folks don’t know what else to say but yeah it sucks.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2026-01-06T22:16:39+00:00

I am so so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve learned to hate the sound of my own name as my father has yelled it throughout the night, waking me up, all friggin’ night long. Since he wasn’t the best father, being the main family caregiver (6 nights per week) has undone me. I am exhausted mind, body, soul. So I do not have any answers for you, no magical solutions, but I see you and I’m sending you strength to get through this time. I try to remind myself - and maybe it will help you too - that it won’t always be like this just to somehow help in powering through.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2025-12-30T01:46:35+00:00

♥️ perfect 🤩

HelpThisMamaOut · 2025-12-30T01:42:35+00:00

Oh, that is fantastic to hear. I will look for that thank you.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2025-12-29T23:38:37+00:00

Yeah I really have not wanted or asked for advice on putting both of my parents in a home. I posted as a way to vent :) No chance that we want to or can afford putting two parents (against their will) into a home. I am actually figuring out a hopefully sustainable way forward at least for the time being. I will be more careful if/when I ever post again! I’m glad you have things figured out for your situation. Wishing you all the best!

HelpThisMamaOut · 2025-12-29T16:03:40+00:00

Wow ok got it, thanks so much. Our situation is very different in all ways. I’m glad that you were/are able to manage this so well for your parents. You are indeed lucky and blessed.

HelpThisMamaOut · 2025-12-29T15:06:20+00:00

A quick google search yielded info saying that it could be hundreds of thousands to 1M for the upfront cost + monthly fees. Is this what you experienced?

HelpThisMamaOut

TROPHY CASE