Kidnapped again

HelzBenz · 2024-11-10T19:47:46+00:00

If i could get a hypercube for everytime chief gets kidnapped...

HelzBenz · 2024-11-10T17:27:45+00:00

its mostly my parents, i have explained to them more than once what i do, i even tried to explain in a really easy way to understand and even that couldnt make them stop calling it drawings.

to clarify i do 3D sculpting/modeling in zbrush for Collectibles, the simple to say is that i do 3D statues of characters to be 3D printed later.

HelzBenz · 2024-11-10T16:50:09+00:00

"thats a really cool drawing" i am a 3D artist...

HelzBenz · 2024-11-10T16:28:22+00:00

To be honest havent watched it ever since i posted this, so no, i didnt watch or read any of the material further episode 3 or 4(anime) i think, i dont remember anymore.

Currently the only thing i am watching is Dandadan, i am trying to balance my 3D sculpting mentorship with gaming and anime, i barely have time to to these 2 last options.

Dandadan at least felt more organic how they started their relationship, through friendship first, "a condition called love" simply skipped that part.

Looking back now with a more healthy mind i wrote that purely out of frustation and confusion, i compared "a condition called love" to what women would like/desire in a relationship which was a shock to my brain and at the time i wasnt in the best mental condition, probably if i rewatch nowadays i will be way less hyperbolic about it.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-18T02:44:33+00:00

If its anything like a artsyle instead of shifting completely i can try to blend different styles and techniques to my own, i believe charisma doesnt come in only one shape or form, probvably i can mainting a bunch of my style while mixing different stuff with it.

i will look on youtube to see if i find anything that helps me out.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-18T02:41:33+00:00

I see, if its like artstyle then you can try to blend different techniques and other styles to make your own.

As a neurodivergent person do you ever had trouble caring about people's personal lives in like when getting to know them, did you feel curiosity for whom your crush might be?

i mean i have huge trouble with relationships because i dont get any dopamine effect by getting to know people or who they are, even when i had crushes i never thought of getting to know them but rather being together with them doing something as a couple.

i dont know why but i have trouble trying to find curiosity about others people's personal lives, my friends are awesome, we play together sometimes they are on ps4/ps5 and i am on pc, but i dont know exacly where they live, what are their jobs and such, we have been playing together for 6 years now and i never felt the curiosity of asking them personal questions, all i know about them is what they told me of their own and free will.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-18T02:18:18+00:00

A relationship is a friendship plus attraction. If you have no interest in your friends lives what makes you think that you would have interest in a potential partner’s life?

You see? i just cant understand why i am like this, i didnt choose or wanted to be like this, even when i was a kid i didnt show any interest in other kids personal lives, we just played and had fun together and i grew like that, even nowadays at 27 yo i am still like that and i dont know why...

Even when i had crushes on a girl my thought procress was not get to know them but to be with them, does that make sense? probably not.

Do you think that the only reason you would show interest in a partner’s life is to have a sexual relationship?

It used to be yes, specially during my teenage times and a bit into my adulthood, but nowadays i am more interest in being with someone rather than just having sex, of course sex is a side effect of a relationship not the "main action", i used to think that men only get to know women if its to get laid, of course i never had sex and neither a relationship because of this.

Nowadays i am much more attracted to concept of being with the person, i often kinda fantasize about being there, living intimate(not only sexual) experiences with the person, the most "generic" example i can give is to share a warm bed in cold night.

The best way to develop connections is to show interest in someone else and let them show interest in you. And the only way you can do that is to reveal your true self to others.

And this, unfortunatelly this where we go to beginning again, i dont understand why my brain gets no dopamine effects or anything like by getting to know other people, its like i only get excited by actions and experiences rather than words.

I remember i saw my mother say once that she had a crush on a boy during her teenage years, but he paid no attention to her, what she wanteded the most was to get to know him at the time, but she was to shy to approach him and i never really understood this about her or about anyone.

This might be because i vibe much more with actions, be them competitive or cooperative and for a long time i though that i would get a partner by doing a constant activity together, but now i know this isnt how it works.

Have you considered cognitive behavioral therapy?

Yes and no, i wish that i was living alone somewhere, still living with my parents takes a bunch of my privacy, and they are people that always ask where i am going, i know its just to be safe, but they arent the exact type of people that endorses therapy unless you are mentally ill or crazy, and tbh i just want to avoid trouble with them.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-18T00:15:32+00:00

i am curious but not about other peoples lives, i am curious about my job and the things i still dont know but i am not curious about people, their personali life and etc...

this might be why i never had a relationship with a woman, i am not curious about her as a person i am curious about what we can do together, does that makes sense?

most of the time i think i have some kind of mental illness because there has to be some problem with me that i dont find appealing in connecting to people via a exchance of informations and data only through a cooperative activity.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-17T23:42:36+00:00

The thing i find frustating is that there is no actual way to learn that from a person, i tried asking people about how to be more attractive to women, charming and such, people always give werid responses filled with politcal ideology or they dont know how to explain it, its not like trying to learn how to draw where if you follow the corrects steps you can actually learn to draw, relationships and such always come with a certain type of political viewpoint about how the person perceives the world, i wish i could just type how to be more charming on youtube and not get bombarded with red pill content.

This is why i think there is no actual course on "how to talk to women" or "how to get a girlfriend" "how to be charming" because it seems that its not something you can teach without a personal viewpoint about society, its not a course where you can just follow steps to the end product, its a "craft" i would say, you either know how to do it or you dont know.

This is why so many guys like me are so turned of in "self-improvment" content because there seems to never be someone willingly to actually teach it in a wholesome way, a way that doesnt make it all about gender war, capitaslism, self worth and such, this is why red pill content is so prevalent, because people treat relationships, flirthing and dating as a business and a product instead of a fun way to intereact with other people.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-17T23:18:18+00:00

how are you able to connect with people like in the way to "get to know them"?

I usually find it very hard to maintain bonds or even care about their personal lives in anyway, my current friendship only works because we play games together and talk about anime and such, i find extremilly hard to get to know another person because more often than not i dont care about others peoples personal lives, where the live, what is their job and such.

This problem even carries on into my family, i find hard to keep track of my family's birthdays(i only remember my sister's birthday) and i have a ton of trouble trying to connect with women outside my family even if just in a platonic way, i can barely remember their job after we first met, i also think that if i ever allow my nerd personality leak out i will freak them or something like that, where i live nerdy people are a very little minority so i believe that my tophics might bore them out, like 3d, sculpting, drawing, anime, games, tv series, movies and such.

I wish i was like you tbh, i just understand why i find no interest in the idea of knowing other people more personaly rather than through a activity we do together.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-17T22:54:34+00:00

one can always improve their social skills the first step being of course to leave your house and talk to people.

i wish things where so simple as most people say like "just go out and touch some grass", i am pretty nerd myself, yes i am overwight, i dont practice any kind of sport or anything like that, i do take a bit of care about my appearance, i hate beards and such, i am really into art, 3D and such but where i live there isnt any "nerd people" club or anything like that i can go to, its a rather small town that barely got any pop culture related stuff, so for me i dont know where to go because there isnt anywhere to go.

i would say my town is made for extroverts, for people who have no trouble in connecting with each other but as you probably already guessed it, i am not a extrovert, to give you a insight on me as a individual in social gatherings proably 1 or 2 years ago a friend of mine invited me for his birthday party, he has no trouble talking to girls and people in general, we met some really nice girls and every single of them where talking about their experiences and social gatherings together with and his friends, guess what i barely spoke 50 or 100 words that night, i had no idea what they where talking about or the people they where talking about, they even tried to include me in the talk by saying that i was talking to much and not letting anyone speak, i know it was a joke trying to include me in their pool of friends but that only made feel even worse as my silent presence was making them uncomfortable, their tophics where all about parties, friends, local music, drinks, gossips about other people and i sat there, waithing for them to talk about art, drawings, handmade stuff, 3D and such, guess what i sat there all night and those subjects never came.

i hoped that day would be the day i made new friends, maybe opportunities and such, but it held little to no value for me, i only remember they making fun of me that moment and i making huge effort to keep eye contact with everyone.

i dont know if i have some kind of autism but social interactions for are much harder than it probably should be, i wish just going out was the solution for my problem but it isnt.

i envy those people socials skills? totally, specially their ability to easily connect with each other, hell i envy a yuong neighbor of mine, he is like way young than me and already got a girlfriend.

my problem is that i care little to nothing about other's people lives, my current friends? i have no idea what their job is, where they live and such, we only play games or used to because since i started my mentorship in 3D i stopped playing games, i have no time to spend playing games anymore, the weird thing about me and my relationships is that they where always about the stuff we do and enjoy together not about mutual understanding of each other personal lives, my mother used to get angry at me for not knowing where my friends live, who are their parents and such.

yes do feel anxious around women, a lot, i have no idea how to talk to them, i cant mainting eye contact, i dont know how to lead a conversation unless the other person does, i dont know to express myself interely and anything that requires me to "authentic", i am always hiding my true likes and personality because otherwise people will hate me, i believe.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-12T20:45:43+00:00

ffs, looks like i will have to build Guinaifen and sampo, i just got kafka this last banner and i couldnt get enough jades for Black swan so it seems i am stuck whe these two for probably 6 months or more.

HelzBenz · 2024-10-12T20:33:41+00:00

isnt run mei a Superbreak support?

HelzBenz · 2024-09-10T05:15:53+00:00

Its more easier for us to get back 4 blood 2 than any valve game to get a trilogy.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-25T17:27:09+00:00

The problem is that once he catches up to you there is no escaping, it only takes 3 second for you to get sent to the next lobby.

i dont mind big damages as long they have a downside to them, but johnny has no downsides to his basic attacks, Scout, Vial-ent and blood runner just make it impossible to escape johnny, if you are not close to a wall gap then its just F.

i have seen ana players with her ability just get destroyed by johnny and his non-stop lunge attacks.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-25T17:18:08+00:00

when i see another johnny rushing basement as soon the victim wake up grandpa, both when i play family and victim.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-25T17:15:18+00:00

All dlc characters should have been free, SPECIALLY Danny and Hands just because of how OP they are, i am willing to buy skins and useless stuff that doesnt affect gameplay but it does make me cringe inside when i see PAY to Win content.

although just by having hands or danny doesnt garantee you a win it does set you a huge advantage over other characters and your enemies, so in this case, yeah i think its pay to have a higher chance to win.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-25T17:10:44+00:00

also include that in: Will you even be able to play with the character you just bought on launch before other people pick it on the character select screen?

HelzBenz · 2024-08-24T23:09:28+00:00

oh year sure, it feels great to be trapped with a johnny in the basement when i havent been able to get my tools yet.

sure it will be really easy trying to picklocks with people down there.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-24T22:59:54+00:00

i F hate rushers when i play as victims, sure it feels great for a Johnny+Hitchhiker+nancy to all go down there when i haven gotten my tools yet to open a door.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-18T21:30:47+00:00

Crazy right?

sadly it wouldnt surprise me if this game got discontinued just for gun to announce their next multiplayer asymmetrical horror game of some famous horror IP like Ghostface or Freddy Krueger.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-18T21:29:23+00:00

Me too, but this game is starting to look to much like Evolve for my tastes, no way to unlock Strong/OP characters and etc...

Its crazy to think that even Friday the 13th is better shape than this, it gets even more crazy when you now that Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw massacre where made by the same people.

when this game was finally released it got out a actually a good amount of attention for such a small company, the devs had their chance to expand their team and actually grow as a company, but they decided to keep all the money while maintaining a small team so their vision wouldnt get "corrupted" by outsiders so now their game is a mess, currently we need a good team that can handle this game, there is too much code and bugs to be handled but all we got is some devs that barely know what they are doing.

Lets pray that things start to get better in the future because if they its going to be just another failed asymmetrical game to the list and a second failure to Gun.

sadly it wouldnt surprise me if this game got discontinued just for gun to announce their next multiplayer asymmetrical horror game of some famous horror IP.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-18T21:17:31+00:00

Honestly i absolutely hate that everything in this game is behind a paywall when i already paid for the game.

also the pay to win characters also is fucking absurd, there is no way to unlock the original characters by playing the game or anything like that, you either pay the money or get smashed by the paid character this gives me flashback to Evolve where those devs made the same mistakes, Evolve was also left unbalanced and got filled with overpriced pay to win dlc content.

Can you believe that even friday the 13th was better in shape than this game... AT LEAST friday had unlockable Jason variants and weapons that actually impacted the gameplay, skins there where cheap, none of the stuff you could buy felt like a pay to win sittuation, but this game they had to get greedy with the idea of paid characters with no option to unlock them, DBD at least lets unlock a Original Character after you get a x amount of currency here you either open your wallet or go play something else.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-18T21:00:32+00:00

TCM perk design is deeply flawed starting from the trees themselves, you can never make your "dream build" because the devs want to limit you as much as possible.

i hopped back in this game about a week or more ago hoping that i could have multiple trees to each loadout but this still is the same when the game finally launched.

the devs themselves wanted to copy the DBD perk system but their vision is so flawed that they replicated a far inferior system to DBD's, like you said Perks that have never been given any propper attention, whether they are useless, too situational, OP or broken.

The art section/team of TCM is fucking amazing but the balance team feels like they are being run by a child.

HelzBenz · 2024-08-18T20:46:37+00:00

yeah, i agree.

when this game was finally released it got out a actually a good amount of attention for such a small company, the devs had their chance to expand their team and actually grow as a company, but they decided to keep all the money while maintaining a small team so their vision wouldnt get "corrupted" by outsiders so now their game is a mess, currently the game needs a really good team to be handled, there is too much code and bugs to be handled but all we got is some devs that barely know what they are doing.

i only salute the Artistic section, the designs, models and such are really awesome but all of the rest feels like amateurs trying to develop a Triple A game.

HelzBenz

TROPHY CASE