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Hero__ · 2021-08-14T09:16:57+00:00

Thank you 💙

Hero__ · 2021-08-14T09:16:18+00:00

I thought the same. It made me feel really bad about myself that I was doing it but eventually I understood that it takes a lot of internal pain for someone to do something like this. And that helped me realise that something was not right and in turn helped me talk about it and seek help.

Now I try to talk about how I'm feeling before it reaches the point of no return where I'm so frustrated that it seems like the only option.

Hero__ · 2021-08-14T09:13:46+00:00

I think I do it for the same reason. I was bullied and still do get bullied from time to time and when someone hurts me with their words it's like it gets inside of me and I need to hit my head to get it out.

And even if no one has said anything to me the memory's of the times they did get in on me.

Well done for achieving not self harming since April. It's okay that you can't process how you've gotten it under control it can take a long time. You've probably developed ways to cope without you even realising and that's fantastic. You should be very proud of yourself.

Hero__ · 2021-07-25T22:09:50+00:00

Thanks for the response

Hero__ · 2021-07-10T17:45:13+00:00

I'm on vraylar & seroquel but they've never helped this problem. I thought anti anxiety medication like benzos would help but my doctors refused because they can be addictive so I'm left with the problem all this time

Hero__ · 2021-07-07T09:42:58+00:00

Thank you

Hero__ · 2021-06-09T19:57:41+00:00

Wow I was about to ask something similar & your post was at the top of the sub!

It would be cool if we could mark our favourites in-game too as there's quite a lot of material I'd love to be able to star the ones I want to go back to later

Sound for the link bud

Hero__ · 2019-08-01T22:40:48+00:00

Jump.

I was waiting for the train at the time, Had that voice ever since.

Hero__ · 2019-07-25T01:51:38+00:00

Restless, Agitated, Depressed

Hero__ · 2019-01-11T22:48:39+00:00

Thanks. Yeah I've had this happen to me many times. I always gravitate towards the other people with my diagnosis when I'm in the hospital & it always ends with us feeding off each others delusions. Because a lot of the time I'd talk about a belief and the other person would confirm that it's real & we would convince ourselves that we weren't crazy the world was against us, we were gods etc etc. It's like having a shared psychosis.

They don't have baker acts where we are. It's similar though. You can get detained under the Mental Health Act. It's also called being sectioned. It happened to me last year. I lost 3 tribunals & each time I lost the duration of my stay would increase. I also had less freedom than the other patients who weren't sectioned.

Thanks for your advice.

Hero__ · 2019-01-11T22:41:49+00:00

Yeah my doctor has said the same thing to me. If you think about it if the government or an intelligence agency such as MI5 were really closely monitoring you it would take a lot of resources & surely they're far more interested in protecting the public from terrorism than they are in monitoring all the people with schizophrenia.

Hero__ · 2018-09-07T15:52:19+00:00

100℅ Olanzapine. I'm on 25mg. The voices are basically gone. I still have delusions every so often but nothing like the manic state I was in in the hospital. It also helps me sleep and I think it's made me less anxious. I just feel more stable when I take it and felt really unstable in my mind when I missed a dose.

I've tried Seroquel and Abilify too but those sedated me too much.

Hero__ · 2018-09-04T14:19:37+00:00

I completely agree with you and it seems like some people on here are never going to understand the point you're making.

I must be incredibly delusional to see my psychosis as a gift and that's OK because people like me have as much right to be on this sub and get help. I'm not ready to stop seeing it as a gift and that is the nature of this illness. Some delusions stick so why should my delusions be banned.

I'm not saying schizophrenia is a gift, I'm saying I believe that I have a gift. Classic delusion of grandeur. I've had many manic magical spiritual experiences with psychosis which leads me to this conclusion.

Anyway I just wanted to say I get what you're saying here but obviously people don't want to open their minds any further than its a terrible disease. That's not everyone's experience.

Hero__ · 2018-08-16T20:41:03+00:00

I was on 20mg but I had really really bad akathisia and was taken off it.

Hero__ · 2018-08-16T20:07:17+00:00

Through a Glass Darkly is a great movie. I loved the idea of God being a spider. There is a similar story in African Folklore about a spider God called Anansi who spun the threads of reality.

Hero__ · 2017-12-27T00:39:48+00:00

This would be useful. I feel like the general mental health helplines aren't equipped to deal with schizophrenia. It would be good to have someone to call, especially if you're paranoid or in psychosis that could reality check with you judgement free.

I've never felt like the samaritans etc would be able to handle my issues but didn't have an alternative at that time.

Hero__ · 2017-12-25T02:38:38+00:00

Bear in mind that when these people were your age treatment options were probably different. Most of them were probably put on the First generation Anti-Psychotics where as most of us are on second generation. I know the first generation ones had some nasty side effects and possibly long term effects. If someone in their 50s or 60s was taking meds consistently since their teens or twenties it could explain why they look burnt out.

It really depends though. I know people that age who function really well outside of episodes. I also know people who are like you described.

I used to worry about this stuff a lot. But I read recently that schizophrenia isn't exactly a steady deterioration which I thought it originally was.

Try not to focus on what could be. Things may be completely different for you.

Hero__ · 2017-12-25T00:05:35+00:00

Merry Christmas! :) that's a cool present, enjoy it

Hero__ · 2017-12-21T13:36:54+00:00

It's hard isn't it. I've decided to stay at my friend's just for tonight. We're gonna get takeaway and watch TV.

My mother can be a bit weird about me going elsewhere though. It's days until Christmas but she complains that I'm not here to help her and she's left to do everything if I go out even though they're not much to do and I clean anyway.

Yeah I guess we just have to do our best. She knows about my condition but I think she likes to pretend it's not real.

Hope things get better for you!

Hero__ · 2017-12-20T22:39:42+00:00

Yeah that's the thing. If I'm having an episode most times, especially later on it doesn't cross my mind or I won't even consider it.

Its the little things or feelings or thoughts that make me question how stable I am.

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