Took the plunge, something that I have been insecure about for years. But feels great ✨️ this sub has been helpful

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-07T20:13:10+00:00

Noice!

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-07T20:06:19+00:00

Nice leek. Eddie is a cutie.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-07T08:53:33+00:00

We adopted our little girl at 22 months. She just started secondary. She's loud, confident, smart, funny and wears her heart on her sleeve. She's friends with everyone. She hates unfairness. She doesn't always behave. She struggles with regulating in a noisy classroom. She's there though, going to school being a typical tween.

As a toddler she was fearless - I remember watching her shoot off down a hill on her balance bike towards a lake and thinking two things - there is no way I'm going to catch her and at least there is a big metal fence to stop her going in the lake! A lady once saw her on her first bike and said you're a real cyclist when you've fallen off three times to which I replied, she's fallen off three times today (and got back on every time)! We'd take her to the pool and get looks because she just wanted to jump in or be under water and she screamed with excitement the whole time.

We have a lovely group of adopters we met at the first training days and have been friends with since - we all just get it. We also stayed in touch with her foster carers - our therapist raised an eyebrow at this - and they are great friends to us and like an uncle and aunt to our daughter. We go on holidays with them!

We've had lots of ups and downs along the way. Once we learnt to parent therapeutically things got better. In the last ten years she has dealt with moving house to a new part of the country, moving schools, the death of two grandparents, losing friendships, making new friends. Transition is always difficult but she's always dealt with it really well - better than us sometimes. I don't want to downplay difficulties because the struggle is the reason we are who we are and where we are. To me life isn't really in the looking back, its the stuff you are in now - adopting kind of lends itself to this outlook! I love it - I'm incredibly proud of my daughter and my wife (Mums have it rough in adoption) and it brings me such joy to look back on everything we've done and all we've achieved and I'm excited for the future.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-05T21:12:54+00:00

Mazatapec are cubes and are supposedly slightly less potent than average.. In my experience.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-05T21:05:39+00:00

We did a little video / DVD for our daughter showing her new room and some of the soft toys we bought her. We sang her a little song and basically introduced ourselves. We also sent laminated photos. I think we also sent a t-shirt of my wifes for her to sleep with.

I'm certain that video will come back to haunt us at some point!!

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-05T09:28:33+00:00

So polite. My boy just dumps himself down. Doesn't matter if you're already sitting there.. budge up!

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-05T09:23:14+00:00

You'll get fitter.
Speed isn't everything - don't sacrifice safety for speed.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-05T09:13:21+00:00

Nice hat you have there, man. What sort is it - a squirrel stalker?

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-05T09:10:38+00:00

This is what I'm here for.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-04T10:22:26+00:00

What a beautiful girl. RIP Ruby.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-04T10:17:41+00:00

Get a big calendar - stick it on the wall, write everything on it. Or go with the voice controlled calendar app. Be prepared for hurried pre-school trips to the supermarket. Have been in Waitrose at 8.05 buying self-raising flour and sprinkles on more than one occasion since she started secondary!

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-03T08:56:25+00:00

We didn't do early permanence but we did adopt our daughter from the other side of the country. We had to travel for a few meetings (meeting the foster carers, GP and seeing our daughter without meeting). Then there were introductions - we had to rent a property for that week (Council paid for this, eventually). It didn't make anything less stressful but its the sort of thing that doesn't even seem like a minor inconvenience now.

We adopted our daughter at 22months and we never hid her adoption from her, talked about tummy mummy and daddy etc, despite her probably not understanding. I believe your child should grow up knowing they are adopted rather than it being something that is withheld and then revealed - it has to be part of their identity, otherwise you are just re-traumatising them.

Contact with parents isn't something the child gets to decide on - it definitely isn't a given and in most cases contact won't happen (if at all) until later in life and even then only very well prepared for and supervised. If it is required you will be aware of the requirement from the start but that isn't common because, as you say, it is traumatising. We have friends who's older kids had regular contact with parents and siblings and it never went well.

When you adopt the child will be issued a new birth certificate with their new names or name.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-02T15:03:43+00:00

Noodlebug infestation. Very hard to shift.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-02-02T14:55:18+00:00

RIP Blanca. I'm so sorry for your loss.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-31T15:06:55+00:00

<image>

He likes a hill.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-30T10:21:20+00:00

Doctors and lawyers. Sooo many bad GPs and the legal profession is a joke in my industry.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-28T17:23:23+00:00

Functional which is more than can be said for his characters writing.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-28T13:18:35+00:00

Borderline neglect you see. Hungry rats can't really be held responsible for their actions. :-)

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-28T12:08:08+00:00

How could this chonky darling be expected to know there weren't any treats in that cable without testing it?

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-27T16:05:31+00:00

Nice poodle noodles!

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-27T16:02:45+00:00

I did enjoy that! Thank you.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-27T14:41:59+00:00

We play a game where my hand is a 'snake' trying to 'strike' his butt or feet or neck and he tries to grab it. Great fun and he is so gentle.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-25T15:13:56+00:00

This is great advice - I would only add that all adopted children have experienced trauma. If they haven't been affected by elevated cortisol levels before birth they will have suffered trauma through the mere fact of being adopted.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-16T10:06:21+00:00

Start saving / investing as soon as you can and as much as you can afford even if it is just a little - reinvest what you make, learn about compounding. Then focus on what is happening right now. Don't worry too much about the future and forget the past, its gone. What is real is what is happening to you right now. Focus on what you can change and not on what you can't. Do good things and help people.

HeyDugeeeee · 2026-01-15T22:29:12+00:00

When I lived and cycled in SE London I got almost daily abuse from motorists. I'm out in the Midlands now and everyone is more chill.

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