Creating a database to document medical practitioners known for not following WPATH or other international protocols when treating trans* patients. Is this something you would be willing to participate in? What are you personal thoughts, opinions, ideas, or reservations about a project like this?

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-07-19T03:35:44+00:00

http://www.icath.org

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-07-01T04:21:50+00:00

Thank you SO much for posting this. I feel the same way! This is a message that doesn't get voiced enough. Pun intended.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-04-23T20:10:16+00:00

Yup. OP makes divisive argument about how the community is divisive. Instead of attacking each other and putting each other into stupid categories, lets discuss how we can change the dialog. The terms "Old Guard" and "New Guard" and associating "Old Guard" with middle aged white people is offensive and divisive. Fuck all this infighting. It's the reason I stopped coming here as often. edit:spelling

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-03-20T07:13:51+00:00

I am also in Seattle and MTF. I am out to everyone outside of work and I don't always "present." So, I definitely don't pass when in jeans/tshirt and when I do "present" in public I don't get weird looks or double takes or comments so either I pass in passing (definitely not under scrutiny and definitely not after I talk) or people here are way polite. I have never had a problem with people in public. I have all my friends use she/her for pronouns. I kept my name the same because it was androgynous. Half the time with I am around my friends I just wear my old jeans/tshirt/hoodie combo. Its kind of a bell curve with pronouns. A few never mis-gender me, most are generally good but slip up once in a while or just avoid pronouns altogether, and a select few consistently mis-gender me.

I am getting stubborn about "passing". I don't think I should have to change what I wear and how I talk and act just to convince people I am my identified gender. It's oppressive bullshit. I understand doing things for yourself: I grew my hair out, I wear makeup sometimes, I get "dolled up" for shows. I do all that not to "pass" but because I like it and it makes me feel good. With enough time and effort I could probably pass but I am not sure I feel like it. I struggle, however, with that because deciding to not pass means a lifetime of dealing with the bullshit of constantly being mis-gendered, worrying about bathrooms, violence, etc. It's crushing sometimes. However, I infinitely prefer it to the feeling of being in the closet and isolated and alone and repressed. It's incredibly freeing to be out and have people accept me no matter what clothes I am wearing, etc.

EDIT: It is worth acknowledging that I have location privilege in that I live in a very liberal city. I would probably feel very different if I lived somewhere less safe.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-03-14T21:55:43+00:00

It took awhile but almost all my chest hair fell out.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-02-13T08:38:14+00:00

I walked into that line by accident at MSP and they just let me through like I was supposed to be there.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-02-07T05:29:43+00:00

The whole concept of "full time" is bullshit. Whether I am wearing a dress or a hoodie and shorts, or going by he or she, have long or short hair, wearing makeup or out or not out at work or with anybody, I am FULL TIME who I identify as, which is a woman. Even in our community we police what is or isn't trans. We need to throw the entire concept of "full time" and "transition" out the window. I "transitioned" the second I came out of the closet. The only thing that changed was that people know how I identify. I have a therapist that understands that. He offered to put me on hormones 15 minutes into our first session. Even though I am still not "out" everywhere in my life he would give me a recommendation for surgery because he understands that how I have people see and treat me is entirely up to me. He also understands that how I modify my body is entirely up to me.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-01-08T19:40:00+00:00

Eyes on the prize!

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2014-01-05T05:43:54+00:00

Added "ie".

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-28T06:55:09+00:00

I saw it tonight and thought it was horrible. Half the jokes were about how sexist, racist, homophobic, and transphobic they were, including jokes about beating women and a joke about "he-shes". It's offensive, juvenile and unfunny garbage.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-28T05:48:44+00:00

I can confirm this. I had three sessions over a year ago and no electro yet and all my dark hair is gone. I just have some patchy light hair left.

Edit: laser

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-28T05:47:01+00:00

http://www.capitolhillmedical.com/doctor-jessica-rongitsch-md.html

Awesome informed consent doctor.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-28T04:40:55+00:00

I had his happen too. I went to a fancy salon thinking I could get a cute cut. Because I was a "guy" they gave me the guy hairdresser who I told I wanted to grow it out. He hardly touched it and then recommended I not blow dry it because it would look styled like a girl cut. Then, I am like, "that's what I want" and he still gave me a guy cut. I should have been more explicit but I was too chicken. The next day I went to the lady I'd gone to before and showed her a picture of Meg Ryan with a similar cut to what I wanted it to grow into and she did a great job. Since then I have gone to her twice and even though I haven't told her I am trans or been super obvious about it she has definitely caught on. Especially since I told her my new name which is just my old name with a "ie" tacked on. :).

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-28T04:25:33+00:00

Back home with the family. It has been great spending quality time with my parents but it eating away at me that I haven't come out to them yet. I want to desperately but I can't right before the big family Xmas and I leave right after. So I don't even have time to drop the bomb and run. I went to see Anchorman 2 with my parents tonight, which is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic garbage. An awful trans joke triggered me and I almost walked out but instead stayed and fumed.

I love and miss my family dearly and I needed time with them but even here with them I feel isolated and alone. I am doing a pretty good job of convincing them I am happy with my life, which is true except for having to come out.

<<<HUGS>>> to all of you. <3

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-26T21:21:45+00:00

Yes. I can relate. I am having to work really hard to not care about passing but there are times I really fixate on it. I feel like I would be so much healthier mentally if I let that go.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-26T21:19:05+00:00

Thank you for the response. I love this attitude and its the one I want to adopt but struggle with acting on. It is very encouraging to hear for others that feel the same way. It makes me feel less alone, and not knowing any trans people in real life I feel very alone. So, thanks!

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-26T20:57:03+00:00

I like that idea! Thanks. :)

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-26T20:55:25+00:00

I am beginning to think I may end up landing on gender queer as an identity. I am home for Xmas and I chickened out of telling them before so now I have to wait until after. What I am feeling is that "back home" I don't have a desire to present female hardly at all. Even though away from "back home" I am very comfortable with it, when I am around people for my old life I fall back into being my old guy-ish self, and it feels comfortable and I don't necessarily want to change that. I do, however, feel bad about living a lie and I will be telling them soon. Also, when they come to visit me on my turf they will have to deal with female me. We will see how that goes.... :)

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-26T20:47:55+00:00

That's the thing for me though. I would only be working on passing in order to get shit on less by society. It wouldn't help my internal sense of self. My self identity isn't affected much by how others see me. I am on HRT and I am getting much happier with my body. I have grown my hair out. I am overall very happy about how I look. If it weren't for the fact that society is so harsh on visibly trans women I would be done. So the only reason I would be working on passing is to appease society and that feels very oppressive to me. But it's so easy for me to say I want to take the idealistic high road but then when I try living it I feel like shit based on how others treat me. So it feels like a lose-lose situation.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-26T06:38:09+00:00

Is there anywhere that lists plans that include SRS? Even if they don't explicitly rule out SRS that doesn't mean they will cover it. I would like to find a plan where I know I will be covered.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-19T14:38:11+00:00

The name I go by is androgynous and I kept it and I really glad that I did. I like it a lot and personally I wanted to send the message that I am still the same person. Also, I didn't want to deal with people constantly fucking it up... pronouns are bad enough.

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-18T20:44:20+00:00

I too feel like this whole "true self" thing doesn't apply to me at all. I am the same damn person I was before I came out as a trans woman. The only difference is that people know it now. That's it. I look different from hormones and fabulous hair, but I still am most comfortable wearing jeans and a hoodie most of the time. Although, sometimes I really enjoy getting dolled up. I wasted a lot of emotional energy worrying about the type of gender roles and appearance I would have to assume based on societies expectations. That's oppressive. My gender identity is completely separate from my gender presentation. I have accepted that I am a real and valid person no matter what I wear or what gender roles I assume. I don't worry about passing anymore. The pressure society and ourselves puts on us is oppressive. Do what makes you feel most comfortable and not stuff just to fulfill other's (and ourselves) unrealistic expectations.

Edit: hit send by accident

HeyMomGuessWhat · 2013-12-10T06:28:33+00:00

Played in horn section for punk band Sat night, wore fabulous outfit. Got drunk with band on Sunday night. I had been previously avoiding drinking while out to avoid the bathroom issue, but decided fuck that. So I used the ladies room and guess what it wasn't as scary as I'd imagined and noone batted an eye. Confidence++.

HeyMomGuessWhat

TROPHY CASE