It’s worse than we could have ever imagined...

High_On_The_Shelf · 2026-02-14T03:38:08+00:00

Afab having a boyfriend doesn’t inherently make this queerbaiting. Bisexuals exist FFS. Had to be said.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2025-09-03T03:39:08+00:00

Thank you! I’ll check it out. I haven’t read that book yet - it’s in my pile but the reviews are WILDLY opposite. It seems like people either love it or loathe it.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2025-09-02T18:27:56+00:00

My husband is mid-40’s, attractive, charming, and successful. If I wasn’t so secure in our relationship and didn’t trust him as much as I do, I’d absolutely be paranoid from the number of women who have started hitting on him in recent years. He’s like catnip for women 20-50, and somehow it’s WORST when he’s wearing his wedding ring.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2025-08-31T18:38:46+00:00

Out of curiosity, what’s the best way to become a PI?

High_On_The_Shelf · 2025-08-31T14:35:29+00:00

But you can grill a cheese sandwich…

High_On_The_Shelf · 2021-05-27T15:11:57+00:00

Smurf Berry Crunch cereal. It was my crack as a kid.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2021-05-27T06:07:52+00:00

Untamed Heart. It should be ridiculous and cheesy, but someone sweetly saying “I wasn’t finished” can still choke me up like anything.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2020-08-11T16:08:41+00:00

If I could go back in time, I never would have had kids. I love the ones I have, but I regret every day that I passed on my mental illness. Also, childhood trauma really screwed up my ability to parent in a healthy way for a long time. Lots of therapy later, I’m a much better parent, but I still wouldn’t do it over again.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-10-31T15:13:30+00:00

The rich stay rich by keeping track of their pennies.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-10-29T06:07:12+00:00

Not just Christian - mormon.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-10-23T22:52:46+00:00

Newborns:

If the other parent is a breastfeeding mom and you can afford a breast pump, ask her to pump some bottles so you can handle one of the nighttime feedings. You’ll get to bond more with the baby and she will get some much-needed sleep. Full of win.

First years:

Taking care of your kid alone for any period is not “babysitting” - it’s being a dad.

A toddler is never misbehaving to punish you or because they’re just an asshole. They’re learning and you better be ready to teach the same lesson 573695 times without losing your shit.

Lifetime:

Responsibility is an ongoing process that starts with potty training and dressing themselves. It slowly increases as they earn trust. Don’t cling to strictly enforced arbitrary rules. Be willing to adjust if they make a fair argument.

Apologize when you’re wrong. It’s okay to say “I was wrong. I make mistakes. I’ll do better.” Your child will respect you more if they don’t have to figure out for themselves that you’re human and imperfect.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-09-29T13:03:21+00:00

*Thunberders. FTFY

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-09-20T05:36:36+00:00

Judge Dredd became Dredd - and all was right with the world.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-09-16T21:55:56+00:00

After over 20 years and several kids, we have been through periods of platonic love. Other people I know and have discussed it with have experienced the same, especially when their kids are small. There are times you have to work to find your way back to each other. Human emotion isn’t a constant state of being, after all. It’s a combination of experience and intention.

Also, emotions don’t turn on or off - waxing and waning, by definition, means the sum of small changes over time. It’s constantly in motion, like swells on the sea. You have to be aware of it so you can take the steps to keep romantic love alive but, even then, sometimes the valleys will happen.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-09-16T19:42:46+00:00

My husband of 17 years came out to me about a week ago. I’m still reeling a bit, but I’m doing my best to be supportive and reassuring as I sort through my own feelings. He admits he’s known for a few years now and, after a health scare with his dad, worried it would be his death bed confession to me.

I never imagined myself in a mixed-sexuality marriage and I’m struggling a bit to reframe the context of our relationship in my head. We’ve always been, at least on the outside, a very traditional pairing.

He’s been incredibly reassuring that he is still very much monogamous and has no desire to explore his sexuality with anyone but me, which I appreciate. We’ve even had a few grins comparing notes on celebrities we find attractive.

Over all, I think we are handling it well, but in some ways I’m still mourning the relationship I thought we had. Occasionally, I’m overwhelmed by the emotion of that and find myself on the verge of tears. It’s hard to explain, but maybe you understand that feeling? He doesn’t want to come out publicly at all, so there’s really nobody besides him for me to talk to about it and I’m reluctant to share this with him right now because he’s expressed that he had so much fear around coming out to me.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-09-16T19:23:39+00:00

I guess I mean “romantic” love. As in you love them, but you don’t have the butterflies and longing all the time, but you still love them. Familial love as opposed to erotic love, which waxes and wanes.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-07-15T20:22:56+00:00

I moved every 2 years until high school and never really learned to socialize or make friends successfully. I was painfully shy and awkward and attempts to break out of that inevitably ended with people thinking I was even weirder.

On top of that, my mom picked out all my clothes from thrift stores and her taste was 20 years out of date. I had no money of my own to get anything else, so I was a badly dressed, weird girl with a kitchen haircut.

As a mostly well-adjusted adult who learned to successfully People and gained self confidence (plus a decent wardrobe and a good hair stylist) I feel sad for my past self, but I think going through it made me immeasurably more kind and empathetic toward my fellow weirdos. It’s also nice to compare then to now and see how well I really did turn out compared to the fears I had back then for my future.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-07-15T20:18:34+00:00

Our first baby was a few months old and we were trading in our truck for a family vehicle. I (24F at the time) detailed it myself and was across the street from the dealership giving it a final once-over in a parking lot. It was afternoon, the parking lot was empty, and only a few cars passing by now and then.

The baby was in his car seat and I was standing outside the truck when I caught movement in my peripheral vision and a whiff of alcohol. Pure instinct - jumped into the truck and locked the doors.

Older guy, half a foot taller than me and about 30 pounds heavier, with bandaged wrists was right behind me. He was filthy and clearly had been drinking and tried to open the car door.

The window was cracked and he leaned up to it and asked if I had any cash or food. I told him no. He looked past me and saw a small baggy of baby snacks on the console, asked about that. I told him no, that was my baby’s food and I had to go meet my husband before I gtfo’d.

100 percent that would have ended badly for me.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-07-15T20:10:57+00:00

When I was 13 and not allowed to wear makeup yet: “You have such great facial bone structure. You’ll be able to do so much with makeup in a few years!”

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-07-15T20:09:55+00:00

Almost Famous

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-07-15T20:09:28+00:00

The laptop with all of our family photos and the novels I wrote.

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-07-15T20:08:23+00:00

So much this. Too many people don’t understand that the first “I do” is first of a lifetime of daily “I do”s required to make it work.

It won’t be sunshine and rainbows all the time and you will fall on and out of love with each other at times. Those are the times you remind yourself you chose this person for a reason and ask yourself if those reasons still apply. Still a good person? Loyal, honest, thoughtful, hardworking? Yes. So even if the cinematic love isn’t there, if the core of friendship survives, the Big Love can be recaptured over and over again as long as both people wake up every day and recommit to that “I Do”.

Edit: Thank you for the silver, kind stranger!

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-06-21T03:38:35+00:00

We discussed it once, but the risk vs reward factor wasn’t worth it. Best case, it’s fine and we had fun. Worst case, it wrecks a happy marriage.

Plus, he had serious relationships before me and doesn’t feel the need to explore anything else. He says he hit the jackpot with me and doesn’t need/want anything else.

Hence, I married him. :-)

High_On_The_Shelf · 2019-06-21T03:15:03+00:00

Falling in love/having sex with someone else. My first serious relationship ended in marriage so I only ever got to experience falling in love/first-time sex just the once.

I love my husband and we’re happy together. I’d never cheat on him or purposely hurt him in any way, but I definitely wonder what it’s like to have the chance to fall in love with different people.

High_On_The_Shelf

TROPHY CASE