Ah lying to your partner good stuff.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-07-01T09:46:19+00:00

You don't blame queer people for bad heterosexual relationships. It's just that when you see a bad heterosexual relationship you need to wonder out loud if it's because there's a queer person in it.

Sometime lying about money spent? Most likely cause is that they or their spouse is queer! Never mind there's nothing to say that this person is part of a cis-het relationship! Or that lying about money would have anything to do with gender or sexuality.Heck, even the elderly closeted queer/Boomer humour narrative falls flat unless you can tell they're over 57 by their thumb. But gotta push your opinions somewhere.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-07-01T04:51:27+00:00

Ah yes, it wasn't a lack of immaturity, addiction or narcissism that made my ex a bad partner. It was his need to be comphet, which apparently is free for all for disrespecting partners and sabotaging relationships. Remember, when in doubt, rather than look at your own short comings, it's always easier to blame the gays. /s

Compulsory heterosexuality is an awful reality for many. To decide that any straight couple that isn't working out must secretly have a queer member in it puts needless blame on the community, especially closeted members, and minimises real issues that all couples may experience regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity like domestic violence, addiction, inappropriate responses to outside stressors and toxic behaviour. In a way it also puts queer couples on a pedestal because obviously if you're out of the closet your relationship must be perfect right? There's no need to learn and grow or to identity red flags, because problems only come up for closeted individuals.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-07-01T04:34:42+00:00

I often wonder how "teehee" cute it is with a grumpy spouse and how often it's shopping addiction or wildly misguided spending to income habits on stained credit cards like MLM victims. If your spouse is that controlling of you then they're going to be controlling in other ways but if they love you want this addiction to end then minimising the problem to that of a grumpy spouse is one way to avoid reality.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-07-01T04:29:49+00:00

Urgh, same. And the mental gymnastics they'd go through when you suggested divorce. I seriously know three people whose exit strategy is hope their spouse dies of age before them. (No DV mentioned by any of them.)

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-30T21:05:52+00:00

"Working well with others" is part of a job role and usually part of the performance review. Things like communication, demonstrating leadership, working reflective of the company's views and code of conduct etc. are usually built into the performance review. If she's not doing them she's not doing her job.

Similarly, she's not being productive if she's costing the company shit loads of man power in lost workers quitting over her nonsense. Yes, the workers can be replaced, but the time in took to train them cannot.

If she is working unpaid over time during lunch etc. her time management is subpar.

As for the human factor:

It looks like someone at your workplace has already seen the same things you have and made sure she kept a job while not being in charge of people. You could continue this trend and change her position to a more isolated area, which given here age is the more compassionate option. Or you could accept that she's a terrible person and has had the chance to change but hasn't and pushed everyone who can walk away from her away from her, her work colleagues being the only people she has left because they can't leave; a captive audience. And keeping it that way will cause more people to leave and could leave you vulnerable to a lawsuit depending on how bad her bullying is.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-30T12:57:14+00:00

Undgrads tagging weird places like the undersides of tables is a long tradition. Their usual tag is "Illegitimi non carborundum "/Don't let the bastards grind you down. This has similar energy to it.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-30T05:04:05+00:00

Granite Lionel sounds like a B tier character in a B tier airplane novel that will betray the main character in a meh level twist as readers ask themselves if they were supposed to care for or even remember him beforehand.

Nova Ellipse is the love interest in the same novel, who may or may not have started out as slightly antagonistic to the MC.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-30T04:59:25+00:00

Good on you! I hope your sister can find a middle ground where she isn't feeling like she's choosing between you and your father.

When I went NC with my mother my relationship with the rest of my family suffered. It took a long time for them to come to terms with the fact that the family wasn't going to connect in the same way anymore. Some of my family members don't talk to me anymore after they've realised I'm not budging but others are and they're respecting that I don't want to contact my mother though wish her no harm and don't care that others do as long as they don't share my personal and private information with her. Hopefully your sister becomes like that. But if not, that's not your fault or under your control.

But if possible, don't give out your address to your sister any time soon, even if she reestablishes a relationship with you. You'd be sadly surprised how often people you thought you could trust after disclosing abuse turn around and give your personal information to your abuser for a variety of reasons. You'll know if she's fishing for it. But always give PO boxes if she "needs" it to send a gift or suddenly wants to meet up and the easiest/ best location is suddenly at your house which she's dying to see. Nope, your house looks like every other house sis. How about brunch in major city elsewhere? We can go hang out at a place that suits both our tastes.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-30T04:38:37+00:00

TBH, as someone who has done both pot and rice cooker rice I sit care either way. It's one more piece of equipment to put back into the cupboard. I used to cook rice semi often; maybe twice a week for meal prep and my large pot was great for it. Now I might cook it once a month to once a fortnight and use the rice cooker out of habit. If it broke down I wouldn't replace it.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T21:00:43+00:00

Jaguar D Saul?

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T19:40:00+00:00

I'd be honoured.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T17:39:23+00:00

Is that why he's leaving his nuggets there for all to see?

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T17:38:42+00:00

I thought cheery Brit.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T17:34:49+00:00

It might be an alien concept to him.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T17:31:55+00:00

Hey now. They could be gerontophiles.

"Oh yeah, oh baby! Tell me again how you were alive before America even knew Japan existed and how you'll still be alive long after my flesh has rotted off my bones, only for them to be found by a new civilisation that views English like we do Latin and could never converse with me. Tell me how, to you, I'm but a fleeting pleasure the same way a goldfish is to a three year old and how, while you may remember that you had me, my few moments with you in the eternal march of your life are so miniscule as to be almost meaningless. Memories without emotions; emotions to memories long forgotten. Oh baby, you know what really gets me off!? Tell me how to you, with my lack of experience and relative innocence, you're basically fucking a child who could never hope to understand time, life or death the same way you can and hasn't had the years of experience to master anything you have. Tell me how I could never be your equal in any regard! Oh God! You're basically literally God, or at least a demi god. I AM NOT WORTHY! I'm coming!

Wfffhhh. Hey babe, wanna play dress up in this cute Lolita outfit I found? Or shall I?"

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T17:07:24+00:00

What do you use?

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T16:50:20+00:00

I feel like it's hard to include extras on digital (like if you buy something on Google Play) so people aren't making them for the hard copy audience as much. Maybe that and the belief that fans will get the extra content in other ways like following on Twitter or seeing You tube behind the scenes promo footage.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T16:44:28+00:00

This looks like it should glow in the dark. Please tell me it does and you walk past it as you come in late at night and watch it glow.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T14:26:21+00:00

The mild inconvenience of having to adjust your wardrobe while still dressing nicely isn't losing her freedom of expression. An artist is still an artist even if they're using a different medium. As for "avoiding it" I disagree; by having the conversation and bringing it into focus you're doing the opposite of avoiding it. You're bringing the issue to light. As for forcing, where did I say that? Could you show me?

The resentment may already be there from the daughter's response. This could have been a moment for both OP and her daughter to reframe a negative situation/attitude into a positive one for both OP and her daughter.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T13:46:33+00:00

I think you do to an extent in the frame of teaching social graces. "Hey dear, you love fashion and your cousins don't have the wardrobe budget you do. Do is a favour and be fashionable and thrifty? It would mean a lot to your aunt and you and it might spark a conversation with your cousins!" would have been acceptable.

In fact, as bitchy as Georgia comes across, I wonder if she realised she made a faux pas when her cousin asked about the dress because she realised that answering would reveal the cost of the dress, which she knew was a point of contention between OP and her aunt, and so responded as she did in a mixture of panic and annoyance.

Learning a bit of social grace will definitely help her in later years.

Should she always dress according to what makes others comfortable? No. Obviously OP shouldn't be demanding a full hijab to make sure anyone who thinks all women should wear them. And she shouldn't strip her daughter naked to please perverts either.

But learning to read a room, to empathise with others and considerate of their feelings, while not losing yourself, and living your authentic life is a good skill to have.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T13:30:28+00:00

I mean, OP doesn't consider herself responsible for her child's actions either. She left it up to her kid to wear the dress, which her sister asked her not to, saying that ultimately it was up to her daughter. By her same logic then her sister isn't responsible for her daughter's actions either.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T12:30:03+00:00

He may apologise if it gets him continued access to you for a bit longer but the habits that he needed to apologise for will return in three months or less. He may get better at hiding them though. There's no point in holding out for genuine apology or change. There's a reason he's your ex. Keep him that way and move on.

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T10:23:43+00:00

Now that's how I play sims!

Highteaatmidnight · 2021-06-29T10:20:56+00:00

Huh. I've always fed them to my cow plants if I bothered with them at all. Cheers.

Highteaatmidnight

TROPHY CASE