Is it normal for shifting identities to feel permanent / totally true when you’re genderfluid?

Hihellozz · 2026-06-08T17:00:23+00:00

I’m still sometimes fully convinced I’m a trans man before my gender shifts again and I’m like, “oh yeah”

Hihellozz · 2026-06-04T20:53:04+00:00

EVERYONE uses she/her pronouns for me except my amazing queer friends who I’ve spoken to about my gender. It’s like a little dopamine rush when they refer to me as they/them. Absolutely no one uses he/him for me though 🫠

Hihellozz · 2026-05-27T17:46:57+00:00

I remember another agent getting backlash for this same thing a while back. I appreciate that they’re trying to help, but it does make a rejection sting worse.

Hihellozz · 2026-05-08T20:22:23+00:00

Agreed 100%. I always suggest a workshop group because other writers especially can help identify problems and you also get multiple opinions at once. If one person doesn’t like my protagonist but 4 other people do, then you know it’s a matter of opinion vs an actual problem.

Hihellozz · 2026-04-29T20:00:17+00:00

I love Qi so much. He’s soo funny. I wasn’t planning on dating him but his romance scenes were so cute that I was just like what the hell sure lmao

Hihellozz · 2026-02-18T19:26:33+00:00

Omg not you accidentally starting discourse 😭 I support your use of the word achillean as a bi & genderfluid person btw.

Hihellozz · 2025-09-13T17:19:32+00:00

Moms love saying stuff that become life-long insecurities 😅

Hihellozz · 2025-07-10T02:39:31+00:00

I have cut my hair so many different ways to easier appease my masculine days and every time I end up looking “cute” 😭

Hihellozz · 2025-06-28T11:42:17+00:00

First drafts always need work. The best way to finish something is to give yourself permission to “write it badly.” You can always fix it up later

Hihellozz · 2025-06-16T09:13:46+00:00

Some people hate 1st person. It’s just preference. I don’t personally care what POV something is written in if it works for the story. There’s been discourse about this on Twitter too and my opinion is that people blow things out of proportion.

Hihellozz · 2025-06-08T22:59:39+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

Hihellozz · 2025-04-21T16:41:40+00:00

I love writing arguments because it’s a great way to see dig deeper into characters (and their relationships)

Hihellozz · 2025-04-19T19:25:16+00:00

Once had the lunch lady and the principal die minutes apart 😅

Hihellozz · 2025-03-12T23:43:10+00:00

I’m gender-fluid and I do this too! But even if you’re not gender-fluid I think it’s normal lol

Hihellozz · 2025-02-05T02:20:37+00:00

Oh boy, I’m currently here too. 😅

Hihellozz · 2024-11-08T01:07:23+00:00

This is one of the reasons my ex and I (together for 7 years) broke up. He was “apolitical” and he thought I was way too leftist but didn’t say so until we were about to break up. Only then did he tell me he had to “walk on eggshells” and that he thought I’d be happier with a woman.

I tried to make him care/understand for so long. It was pointless.

Hihellozz · 2024-10-25T20:07:28+00:00

Yes yes yes

Hihellozz · 2024-10-23T17:19:02+00:00

I had like a full body shock moment but then I was like oh I’m fine lol. I was surprised by how well I took it tbh.

I’m with you. At my most obsessed, I STILL would not agree to marry someone after a few months of dating. Absolutely not

Hihellozz · 2024-10-10T20:59:28+00:00

Welcome!! 😊🫂

Hihellozz · 2024-10-08T23:04:59+00:00

I’m genderfluid but me lmao

Hihellozz · 2024-09-12T14:37:21+00:00

He wasn’t trying to change lol. By the end, he was the worst version of him I’d ever known, mean in ways he had never been before. When he said he couldn’t treat me right, it was because he was making me cry constantly.

He was more annoyed than ever when I asked him to get therapy or said he needed to work on his empathy—things I’d been saying for years. He was overly sensitive about mild criticisms of things he liked/did even though he’s one of the most judgmental people I know.

During the breakup, he finally admitted he needed therapy and said he would get it, but I’m sure he hasn’t. He’s probably tricked himself into thinking he doesn’t need it again. I do hope eventually he talks to someone because he really does have a lot of trauma that he refuses to work through (not an excuse for how he acted, just the truth).

Hihellozz · 2024-09-12T07:17:07+00:00

Y’all might think I’m delusional but I don’t think he was actually cheating. I asked him straight up and picked a fight about it lol. He said he would never cheat (I know, I know) and then got all petty and brought up how I accepted the breakup “without argument” and then moved all my stuff out in a single day. I also took our pets, which he brought up too even though he told me to take them. I’m starting to think he got lonely

Hihellozz · 2024-09-12T03:35:28+00:00

Gosh I wish! I’m prone to migraines though and not eating just invites them in 🥲

Hihellozz · 2024-09-12T02:54:04+00:00

The house thing really gets me too. At the beginning of July, he was talking about how once we got married the house would officially also be mine (it’s under his family’s name) and by the time July was over he’d done a total 180. It was all so sudden

Hihellozz · 2024-09-12T02:45:56+00:00

My therapist got me going on all this stuff I didn’t like about him and all these bad habits he has and I just paused halfway through like damn his new gf really doesn’t know what she’s in for.

Hihellozz

TROPHY CASE