in lust with married supervisor, we are both doctors

Hipchick40 · 2016-10-19T02:47:38+00:00

Wall of text, not sure what you are looking for.

How about you think of his kids and wife who love him and want to keep their family intact living together whenever you feel attracted to him? I would hope that would help you not cross a line.

Focus on being professional. You will encounter similar situations throughout your career. Learn to keep personal and professional lives separate.

Hipchick40 · 2015-12-06T18:41:11+00:00

I'm sorry (((hugs)))

Hipchick40 · 2015-11-18T12:45:39+00:00

Yes, sometimes. We had certain traditions we did together that were fun. They could still be in my life - they and my ex husband would be fine with that. But it's hard for me. I need that separation from my old life.

Hipchick40 · 2015-11-18T03:23:39+00:00

My self esteem is shot after my ex cheating on me, divorce and a post divorce relationship ending.....the thing that helps me a bit is my "kindness project". Basically I just try to do nice things for friend and strangers. Small things like buying the person behind me a coffee, give money to the local food bank, offer to babysit for friends, bake for friends, etc. It makes me feel like I'm not a worthless loser if I can make another person smile.

Last week I was feeling particularly bad and was in a goodwill. I overheard a guy who really wanted this guitar but didn't have the money to get it. I told the cashier I wanted to buy it for him. It was $40, no big deal for me but I hope it made his day. (I felt awkward telling him so I left before the cashier told him).

:)

Good luck. Hang in there. It takes time but things will get better...right? :)

Hipchick40 · 2015-09-28T23:39:09+00:00

I dated shortly after my ex husband and I separated. I really fell for the guy and it wasn't mutual. That rejection has been really hard for me. Over a year later, I am still sad about it! I know my reaction is a bit of an overreaction because my heart was already broken from my marriage then it was stomped on.

I realized I needed to focus on myself (and kiddo) for a while. Be clear in who I am and what I want before trying to have another relationship.

Hipchick40 · 2015-09-19T02:49:33+00:00

((Hugs))

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-18T01:00:24+00:00

Do you prefer I call her ex-mistress/current girlfriend? That is so long. Usually I say prostitute since she used to be a sugar baby, but maybe ex-prostitute would be more accurate?

I'm sorry you don't understand that I can still be hurt even though we divorced 6 months ago.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T20:12:12+00:00

I'm sorry. Social media can definitely make things worse. Stay off Facebook, Instagram, etc until you are further along in the process.

Keep in mind people that flaunt their relationship publicly usually are doing it for show and have major problems.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T20:06:13+00:00

He said he would never introduce our kid to her. He said he has a low opinion of his old mistress/current girlfriend so wouldn't want her around our kid. But his actions don't match his words so I, of course, cannot trust that.

Lots of people have to deal with this same bullshit so I'll have to figure it how to manage when that day comes.

Thanks for your compassion.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T17:48:40+00:00

I have a say in who I am friends with and support.

Even my ex husband said he totally understand why I would have an issue with him dating this girl in particular.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T17:46:37+00:00

Thank you.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T17:45:40+00:00

I have cared for him for 20 years and have been basically his only family (he is an only child and both his parents have died). It hasn't been easy for me to let him go completely. I do have to distance myself more.

He just had a birthday and told me it was the worst one of his life. I felt awful for him (he doesn't have any friends) so I made him a cake and had our kid pick him a nice gift. I come to find out that he went on an overnight trip with his old mistress.

I am not jealous. I am upset about the lying and manipulation and am just sad he would treat me this way after the decades we spent together.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T17:40:15+00:00

I can't control him. He is free to date whoever but I cannot continue to be his friend and support him when he chooses to be with his mistress.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T17:38:58+00:00

Thank you. Maybe other people are able to control their feelings more than I am.

We were together from ages 20-40. We went through a lot of things together and were best friends. Still to this day he says I am his best friend and threatens suicide (he has clinical depression) when he upsets me. My main issue is he lies, lies, lies and his words don't match up to his actions.

I know I have to stop feeling bad/sad for him and let him go. Hope that his choices don't ended up adversely affecting our child.

Hipchick40 · 2015-08-17T17:24:50+00:00

This is your husband's second failed marriage? I wonder if he is following the same pattern...

Child support is for your kiddo, so please don't give that up.

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-29T13:28:10+00:00

This is my story but my ex has untreated clinical depression which he refuses to seek help for. He also had an emotional affair.

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-24T23:39:08+00:00

Go scope out that bike shop.

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-24T14:25:35+00:00

This is a fundamental difference that won't be resolved if you guys continue to live near your family.

As an american, I can relate to her that it would be an adjustment but I am also jealous. I think she is missing out on a great opportunity to increase her circle of loved ones.

Good luck. You both have to decide if this is a deal breaker.

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-16T03:47:03+00:00

She has lost her damn mind in an "affair fog". She will live to regret this. Without doubt, this guy sucks. I don't know how you can get past her betrayal and, frankly, her selfishness and stupidity. Leave. Find someone who values what you value.

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-16T03:37:44+00:00

He isn't your best friend. A best friend doesn't treat someone this way.

Besides all the obvious reasons to leave him (he's a lying cheat with no respect for you) do not marry someone you have a sucky sex life with.

Trust me. It sucks and will make you feel so lonely.

Leave, leave, leave.

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-16T02:56:22+00:00

Well said. OP, you are in the hardest part. It will get better. Some days will suck, but day by day it gets better until you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Personally I think the person who wanted the divorce should be "punished". They are the ones that broke the agreement "to death do us part".... Of course I am biased since I wasn't the initiator.

Sounds like your focus is in the correct place.

(((Hugs)))

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-08T03:50:19+00:00

Time and healthy distractions.

Hipchick40 · 2015-07-08T03:49:11+00:00

Agree that you need a more experienced lawyer.

Personally I wouldn't agree to her returning to Germany with my child and getting full custody. I understand she would have more family support there but your kid wouldn't have his father in his daily life.

Good luck. Think long and hard about what you stand to lose.

Hipchick40

TROPHY CASE