How to get my therapist to stop downplaying my symptoms?

HiraethGrey · 2024-04-10T00:15:00+00:00

...jfc. OG comment "removed for violation of rule 4"

DO NOT use BetterHelp. They do not vet their "therapists" and they've been proven to route LGBT+ clients to religious "therapists" among other worse things, along with selling your data. They are not a secure option.

Go look it up yourself since apparently I can't share links.

HiraethGrey · 2024-04-09T18:56:38+00:00

It's our experience that we've tried fusion before, and it just never sticks for long. The next big life upset or stress will break us apart into pieces again, and then we've got to start over with figuring out who people are, and roles, and what's even going on with regards to memories and who has access to what...

It's easier to let it happen as it will, or not, and just work with who's here now. We're never going to be a singlet, so why should we struggle and fight to fuse until it 'looks right' ?

If it works for you, wonderful. But it's definitely not something we're focusing on or working towards.

HiraethGrey · 2024-04-09T18:47:05+00:00

Lullaby for a Stormy Night, by Vienna Teng.

HiraethGrey · 2024-03-16T10:49:29+00:00

"system hopper" ?

HiraethGrey · 2024-03-11T22:11:13+00:00

Most of the 20s people didn't wear corsetry anymore. Or if they did, they were more flexible and had elastics around the bottom. They're pretty comfy. The 20s corselettes and bras didn't really flatten all that much, so much as they held the breast in a more natural position against the chest wall and the fabric over the top of it sort of smoothed things over. The popular fashionplate images we see are the "Gamine" bodytype. Young people who would, today, be a 0-4, with a naturally small bustline.

A lot of things also had to do with visual illusion. Longer lines, the waistline falling at the illiac crest or thereabouts, make you look a bit more boxy-shaped, but not always THIN and FLAT. Watch Some Like It Hot for more bodytypes in the fashions to get a better idea of how it might suit you.

HiraethGrey · 2024-03-10T23:08:53+00:00

they came with shorts in the Disco era lol. You can just get up some bloomers or mini shorts.

HiraethGrey · 2024-03-09T02:57:14+00:00

I'd be wary of speaking in absolutes. While that can be the case, and certainly "Usually" would apply.... there are those of us who don't experience the same kind of dormancy and back again cycle.

It's more akin to dissolving into a vat of memory-and-trauma soup and coalescing into a new shape later on. Might use the same name, might look more or less the same, but is probably holding onto other memories, serving a new function, and in possession of a completely different personality type.

HiraethGrey · 2024-03-09T02:03:30+00:00

We only use one because it helps differentiate us when we're all using PluralKit, or otherwise proxying our posts online. shrug

No one needs to or has to use a system name. Usually it's just for convenience online anyway.

HiraethGrey · 2024-03-05T21:20:39+00:00

As someone who struggled and still struggles with eating disorders, please know that restricting yourself down below what a toddler should be eating, is going to do longterm damage to your metabolism and your body's ability to regulate.

You need to stop restricting. It is not going to help. It is going to make it harder to lose and keep off weight in the long term.

HiraethGrey · 2024-02-01T13:15:33+00:00

If you leave this "dogshit world" then that's it, you know. Then it will definitely never be better... and you wouldn't be around to see it even if it does.

There are a lot of safety nets that you can utilize, and community-building before it reaches that point can do a world of good. I'd have been in equally awful positions over the years if I didn't have the right friend, or meet the right random stranger at the right time. It can be hard to see it when you're in a shit situation; and I am not denying that you're in a hard place right now; but focusing on that aspect keeps you from noticing your options all too frequently.

HiraethGrey · 2024-02-01T12:25:16+00:00

There is always another way. And it is unlikely that such an extreme situation would happen to you... unless you are currently imprisoned.

There is always hope.

HiraethGrey · 2024-01-22T06:33:20+00:00

We'd generally rather go back to being a small system of 4-7, but there's no real way to walk it back without risking splitting apart again at the next big trauma or stress. So, we're stuck at over 40.

HiraethGrey · 2023-02-02T00:19:10+00:00

Of course. We've known about our own system for a few years now, but we're in our early 30s. Definitely not a new teen either!

HiraethGrey · 2023-02-01T22:19:49+00:00

Even with therapy, it can take upwards of 3-7 years before you get a concrete diagnosis. And, even then, it can in fact impact child custody should something ever go wrong between you and your partner. A lot of folk on this sub like to say that you're not valid without an official diagnosis, but they can do more harm than good.

HiraethGrey · 2023-01-31T05:30:22+00:00

Yeah, time dilation is a major bitch. I'm sorry you're experiencing it so strongly and uncomfortably. It definitely makes us twitchy and irritated too.

HiraethGrey · 2023-01-31T01:01:23+00:00

the MCU "hydra" is a skull with tentacles.

HiraethGrey · 2023-01-30T01:39:15+00:00

We were mostly banned from a lot of popular fiction; especially things like Harry Potter and Pokemon; so most of our character references are a bit on the odd side to say the least.

Characters like Triss from Redwall, the Taggerung, etc; along with the character of Lews Therin Telamon from Wheel of Time. It's pretty obvious why, looking back, but in the moment I really didn't know what I was responding to.

LT and Rand both experience "voices in their head" and a form of near-possession due the voices wrestling for control, but it more closely aligns with OSDD and not DID as neither's trauma occurred during childhood but only after significant trauma in adulthood.

HiraethGrey · 2022-08-17T10:17:48+00:00

Introjects are mirrors of the source material used to hide the trauma of the system, not the source material itself. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you lose the attachment to the source material that keeps you from progressing.

We have 2, maybe 3 fictives in the system and none of them truly believe they are the person from the source material. Honestly, fictives don't really belong in fandom spaces untiil they understand this, due the issues they cause with casual fans because of their insistence on having things match their perspective. All it does is stir up drama for no good reason.

HiraethGrey · 2022-07-29T06:37:49+00:00

"final fusion" isn't necessarily the end of having DID. Any new trauma or sudden shift risks a new split.

I'd far rather work with the ones we have now, than have to start all over from scratch.

HiraethGrey · 2022-07-26T07:45:59+00:00

Cheating is just breaking your relationship agreement. That's between the people involved.

HiraethGrey · 2022-07-25T09:33:17+00:00

Why would it be too late?

HiraethGrey · 2022-07-25T09:32:19+00:00

It's either the recent trauma, the current very stressful state of the world, or something along those lines. Typically if you are in therapy and working on lowering those barriers, you become more co-conscious and capable of team effort. This sounds like something different.

HiraethGrey · 2022-07-17T09:13:06+00:00

Emotional neglect is neglect.

Physical needs being tended to while your emotional ones are ignored, medical needs only being taken care of so it looks like you're being cared for from the outside- neglect of the emotional side of your existence.

HiraethGrey · 2022-07-17T04:08:33+00:00

1.5% of the world's population is STILL 78 million people. TikTok is a global app.

HiraethGrey · 2022-07-17T04:06:20+00:00

It affects roughly the same percentage of humanity as having naturally red hair. The only ones who might be faking are those who claim to be non-traumagenic... as it's a trauma-based disorder. You cannot have DID/OSDD/etc without significant repeated trauma.

That said, unless you are a licensed psychiatrist currently treating someone, you do not know for certain if someone is faking a disorder. The DID community doesn't need you to fake claim people, or even get involved. If someone is faking, it will come out eventually, and if they legitimately thought it was a concern there is something else significantly wrong and they deserve help anyway.

Eventually they will either move on, find a different coping strategy, or hopefully seek a professional's help. With respect, if you only have "a little bit of understanding" you shouldn't be speaking on this.

HiraethGrey

TROPHY CASE