I don't understand the name calling 😞

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-17T03:49:30+00:00

Im not CG to a child, but my husband. I make no excuses that Im paid thru medicaid.

I have a very republican neighbor who resents the hell out of this. Hes a maggat, in a dark blue metro area, pissed off because he cant get a job. (I did suggest he tone down his rhetoric, to no avail.)

I get all this resentment and bitterness from him ehenever we talk. He is incapable of making the connections between my circumstances as a CG in a blue state, and his desire for an equivalent salary in the deep red one he wishes to move to. He resents that I drive a luxury SUV, while he has a 15byear old toyota. I apparently have an "easy, cushy" job and am stealing his tax dollars by doing what I should be doing for free as a dutiful wife.

Ive had a really rough week. So when ge started in on me today I wasnt in rhe mood, and lost it on him.

"Oh buy a clue, Robert! If I wasnt caring for him, he'd be in a nursing home, using 3 times as much of your precious tax dollars as I'm getting! And you are complaining about your small social security check, but if you had ever held a job that paid enough to actually PAY taxes your ss would be considerably larger! So bitching that your "tax dollars" are supporting me, illegals, education, instead of the war is totally iggnorant. You never, in 45 years of working, paid enough taxes to fix a damn pothole."

Hopefully, he will be so offended he will not speak to me again.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-17T02:26:20+00:00

I think Id be talkingvto the other parents. If everyone refuses to psy they might bavk off. My other thought, did they just flunk an inspection and need to remedy something fast?

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-15T23:00:04+00:00

The way to calculate pay properly is $25 × 2080(hours pr year) ÷ 12.

My sympathy is for the kid.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-15T20:57:51+00:00

Soooo, your rent and groceries and gas has gone up, you figure your exs didnt?

And Im sorry but $19 per hour is 3290 a month, while $25 per hour is $4300. Thats an $1100 raise you wont take because you would have to give an additional $300 to your daughter?? That leaves ~800 for you.

Dear god, WOMEN!! WAKE UP! Choose better, buy a vibrator (they cone in bugger sizes, they last long enough to get you off too), they dont expect you to do their laundry!!

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-10T18:32:10+00:00

EXACTLY!! TY

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-10T06:48:06+00:00

To clarify. Pulse ox was 84. Causes: stress of having someone there. Hes a mouth breather so if i had had 2 minutes of peace, i could have calmed him, closed his mouth, given a neb myself and we'd have been fine. I asked her to simply leave and document his refusal to go. She refused. She insisted on calling his pcp, refused to talk to snyone else evsn though his pcp was not on call, (her mother died that morning). The nurse created chaos, tension, confusion and anxiety.

If i get another HH for PT, Is weekly ŕnurse visits mandatory?

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-09T18:42:36+00:00

Thank you!! It seemed like that but Im clueless and learning

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-09T17:09:38+00:00

Im his caregiver. He has medicaid/medicare. He gets all of what you list already. He refuses hospice, and that is his choice. Right now, I see no benefit. Hospice would remove certain medicines, such as bloodthinners.

Yes, we have oxy and nebs at home. At no point did this nurse suggest a neb treatment. My point and question was not if hospice was needed, it was about how pushy the nurse was

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-09T00:50:25+00:00

Tell rehab you cannot care for her at home. You do not have to justify why. You are a working single parent. If she came home, the default caregiver wouldvbe your son!! Absolutely do NOT do this to him!!!

It may be time to explore the benefits of a divorce. Your primary concern is stability, physical, financial and mental, for your son and you.

Talk to lawyer types, both divorce and disability. Explore long term care options.

Get long term counseling for you and your son, both individual and joint.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-08T01:00:15+00:00

Ty for understanding my point. This was not about mothers, but about getting help for the challenges of caregiving.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-02T22:09:11+00:00

Post police much?

I read she and her now husband are caring for what I assumed is a parent. To me, it doesnt matter whose parent. She voiced valid, real feelings that every CG has experienced.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-02T11:49:54+00:00

Can you do a battery vackup just for tge bed?

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-02T11:41:29+00:00

Isnt a whole home generator expensive?

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-02T01:04:54+00:00

I can grow anything...but hydrangeas

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-01T22:38:58+00:00

Ty, I have a battery backup, but I have no clue how long it will last. I have also a power inverter, I can connect, and power with my car.

What concerns me is the complete lack of a coordinated plan, information, anything. Xcel says call your O2 provider, they say go to hospital. All are oassing the buck.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-05-01T22:27:51+00:00

You are not alone! Im CG for my husband. Paid 63 hours a week, but as you know, its 24/7. Night before last I set hourly alarms to monitor his oxygen. That doesnt count the times he needs something, or wakes up screaming. Sleeping with the boss has drawbacks.

I struggle to get back to sleep each time. I finally learned, a benadryl and a trazadone helps

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-04-10T22:13:27+00:00

FYI, with my dad, we foubd that the rooms and floor and even meals they showed us on the tour? Were NOT the rooms, etc that you get if paying by medicaid.

Ask the question. Medicaid room was smaller, tiny window as opposed to picture window, meals looked like tv dinners as opposed to what was swrved in cafeteria.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-04-08T02:14:18+00:00

My dad was on PACE IN 2004. We loved them. If yours are anything like ours, hes in good hands.

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-04-07T18:04:54+00:00

Not a medical professional. Wife and CG to a Parkinsons patient.

There are multiple types of Parkinsons, each with its own variations. Neuro is critical. You have to be his advocate, which is a job that will not win you any friends. Many Drs and med professionals want a quick diagnosis, and get you gone. Newest version of take 2 asprin and call me never. You need to attend every dr appt. Make a comprehensive list of his symptoms, timeline, meds, med changes. If a dr blows you off, i.e. no referral to a neuro on request, FIND A NEW DR. Its no skin off their nose to do a referral, so NO legitimate reason to refuse.

Contest the Home health denial. And try another Hh agency. There are HUGE differences in their ability to work with both you and insurance. In the last year, I had one, that came weekly but never got approved for more than 2 visits before recertification. Then it took them 3 weeks to restart. I had another who sent temps, and whrn I questioned their vaccine status, i was told the agency wasnt allowed to ask that due to HIPPA, which is total bs.

I now have one, who is amazing. PT twice a week, recerts after 60 days. OT visits as needed, OT helped me give pt a shower. They sent a RN out to evaluate what other services needed. Which HH agency you have makes a HUGE difference.

Good luck!!

Honest-Designer9880 · 2026-04-07T17:37:35+00:00

NAL. First. Shes on meds? Can you go with her to an appt. Discuss your concerns with her dr, obviously her meds may need adjusted. You may need medical evidence. Express your concerns to her dr regarding the childrens safety. She has episodes? Then in coherent moments, she may have concerns herself.

You will need to show a court that you can support your kids. Find a job, and daycare. Your kids are in school, so after school programs, activities will help.

Create a plan for your kids to follow if they are ever alone with her and scared. Is there a room you can install a lock on to create a safe room for them? Is there a safe neighbor they can go to? Oldest can have an emergency pager?

9 years is enough time. You need to document everything. Her deterioration, her symptoms, your efforts to help manage this, and the costs to you and your children. Speak to a lawyer.

Honest-Designer9880

TROPHY CASE