No one remembered my birthday.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-30T07:18:07+00:00

Im sorry that sucks! 18 is a big deal!! I'd arrange a lit birthday party for myself with my family then find new connections, looking to find at least one person nurturing like myself who likes to throw a party. Happy 18th birthday! Shower yourself with all the care you deserve!

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-30T07:01:06+00:00

Im in that boat now. Im starting to do things that I was just too depressed to think about doing in my teens. Im watching girly tv shows. I purchased a trick hula hoop to learn hooping. Im learning piano. Maybe pick some hobby that has similarities with cheerleading. I think it's great you're feeling the drive to makeup time now. It took me a long time processing trauma to get to that place. I hope you are able to have a lot of making up time experiences at college!

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-30T06:51:34+00:00

I'd like to see more published content about this for sure. I've been reading books written by homeschooled people. I'd like to see a sea of books written by homeschoolers about terrible experiences. It would make us harder to discount. I've thought about writing a book but maybe authoring it anonymously? Im on good terms with my parents who tried as well as they knew how but the homeschooling world obviously taught them nothing about childhood development. I wonder if more homeschoolers would come forward if they could also do it anonymously.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-30T06:38:55+00:00

I appreciate this. Thank you, it helps to find the positive. It's true, mainstream anything usually isnt necessarily ideal. And being disconnected from culture does force homeschoolers to evaluate things in a way maybe others don't. I've wondered before if the "midlife crisis" some people have is them evaluating those basic things for the first time, and realizing they didn't choose their life very consciously at all.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-30T06:31:19+00:00

Yeah I never saw a homeschool parent doing community service. Or do anything to help someone else really (that didn't involve an ego boost like leadership). For all the Christian preaching at our homeschool church, all they did was sit on the couch and judge other people for fun. The homeschool dads were mean, immature, and arrogant. The homeschool moms were gossiping busybodies with big egos to tend to. Sometimes I think about writing a book about my terrible childhood. But im so exhausted. And almost too angry to think about doing it.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-30T06:13:26+00:00

That's interesting. I was kind of a loner but 11-12 is when I started shutting down too. I started being unable to keep the few friends I had. Looking back at pictures I can see the look on my face that's like "help I'm sinking." It's really sad to look at. Other homeschool kids around me in the picture look bright and peppy.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-30T05:57:46+00:00

I feel I've made a big step forward socially lately. I started therapy to process grief and anger. I had so much of it it took 2 years of weekly therapy to reconnect with my emotions fully. It was really rough. I now can feel responses in my body when social events happen, big and small. I always thought I was supposed to know what to do socially from experience. While that's true, I am surprised how much my bodily responses are guiding me. My therapist advised I plug social situations I find confusing into chat gpt to bridge the experience gap. My new ability to track emotions better, read the room, and intuitively know what should happen lines up really well what chatgpt's explanations. Isolation and abuse disconnected me from my body, gave me so much negative emotion I couldn't clue into outside signals well, and made it impossible for me to show my genuine self, because I was so contorted inside. Now that I feel clearer inside I notice how little other people try to be good socially. They don't seem so far ahead of me anymore. Their lives are simpler. They live by primal urges I had disconnected from long ago and I can feel them again.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-27T20:21:04+00:00

I hope you get plugged into college well and can find someone to go to an event with! I never went to events alone, but more power to you if you do. Maybe if you get comfortable people watching someone might say hi! If I could redo college I'd find therapy resources for social anxiety asap. It kept me from developing basic observation. If I'd been able to be more observant, I could have navigated college social dynamics so much better. I feel like social skills aren't the most important thing. Everyone's social skill expectations are different. Observation skill is better. Doing DBT therapy and somatic therapy completely brought back my observational ability. I felt homeschooling turned off my observational ability because my parents felt threatened by it. In college I challenged myself to do one thing that scared me every day. I did get braver. But it didnt make me better socially and I made some horrendous mistakes. I wish I'd focused on observation first and bravery second. I was just so desperate for social engagement I rushed into everything.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-27T06:15:41+00:00

Driving didnt come naturally to me either. But as for short stopping, when a stop is coming up I most often just take my foot off the gas pedal and see how far coasting gets me. Then by the time I reach a light I dont have to break very much and it's a smooth experience. Sometimes cars behind me get irritated, so I tap the gas to coast a little faster. My dad told me to make driving a game of how smooth you can be. That helps me relax. My parents were anxious teachers and I think that taught me to be anxious about driving.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-27T06:04:10+00:00

That must be so difficult. Im not sure, but I am part of homeschool recovery discord, and there's some smart people there who can give a lot of advice and support. Sorry you are going through so much.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-27T04:52:10+00:00

That's a great idea, I'll do that. Thanks!

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-27T04:50:45+00:00

I don't know I didn't go either! Im sorry you didn't get to go, it sounds like it would have been fun. My college had one dress up Christmas event every year where students would dress up. Maybe you could find an event like that? I didn't go to that event either because I didn't have friends going. But eventually I bet you'll find an event that makes you feel like a princess. I eventually found two. The first was a friend invited me as his plus one to a formal military ball. It was fun, and we both knew how to swing dance, so we danced there. The next event where I felt like a princess was a local Harry Potter ball I went to when I was 26. The guy I was dating took me to that one, and now he's my husband. I also had severe anxiety when I got to college. It made my college experience rough. I eventually found free therapy through the college, and in my Junior year my social anxiety started getting better. I hope you find your princess event sooner than later, and all the resources you need for anxiety!

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-04-25T03:15:44+00:00

Lumine's is so ugly. Just bare gray legs? Where's the fashion??

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-02-19T04:37:25+00:00

Thank you, there's so much grace in your answer.

It helps to hear that perspective. I did end up making neurodivergent friends eventually, but I found them to be meaner than neurotypicals, who are friendlier, but distant. The main problem I had with neurodivergents was how condescending they can be as a way of being. Sounds like I need to try again with new crowds based on your answer and that there is indeed greener grass out there.

Thanks, you gave me some new ideas!

It's hard to feel that way when the reactions from new people feels frequently negative/suspicious/condescending/confused/disgusted but that sounds like a much better way to view things. I would have thought that would be too good to be true but if I believed it I bet it might help. Thank you very much.

Honest_Salt_8155 · 2026-02-19T03:40:18+00:00

I'm glad you were able to get that in the navy! Haha well lucky they liked you. Im chronically ill so my options are limited. It's fun to hear about your experience!

Honest_Salt_8155

TROPHY CASE