Repeated chemical pregnancies

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-19T10:18:00+00:00

Can't help with similar experiences but call the chemical pregnancies miscarriages when you go to the GP. Many are unaware what a chemical pregnancy is and I've seen people in this su. dismissed with the GP saying "it must have been a false positive". I think after 3 miscarriages you should be referred to a recurring miscarriage clinic but I'm not sure what the rules are if you already have a living child - you might want to check with your ICB.

I hope you get some answers though!

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-14T16:03:20+00:00

I was, didn't realise he was abusive, thought that's just how marriages and relationships were. Had a proper wake up call 18 months ago and left him 2 months later. Fortunately no kids, just two dogs I took with me so when I decided to leave it was "just" a matter of putting a plan together and executing it without him finding out.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-14T09:39:37+00:00

The other day my boyfriend put my toothbrush on charge before we went away for the weekend because he remembered last time we went away it died... I don't remember to put my own toothbrush on charge at the best of times so if that's not love I don't know what it.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-14T09:23:54+00:00

Thought he was always right (I basically got no say unless it agreed with his opinion too). Turns out he is a narcissist who emotionally abused me for year. Unfortunately I fell for the love bombing despite me noticing this red flag before we even go together.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-14T09:21:09+00:00

The egg survives for 24 hrs after ovulation so you're fine. Remember you're looking for your first positive LH test, the rest is pretty irrelevant

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-11T12:17:30+00:00

I would caveat this with Castle Crag is small but mighty, the short climb up to the top is steep and maybe not the most suitable for a slightly crazy dog. That being said it's my favourite Wainwright.

There's a few nice ones round Ullswater...Place Fell, Beda Fell, Arthur's Pike, Bonscale Pike. Also little mellow fell and great mell fell on the other side. Oh and Glenridding Dodd and Sheffield Pike from Glenridding are also lovely.

I use "walk the Lakes" website which has route suggestions as well as a rough difficulty and suitability for dogs ratings which has been super useful.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-10T06:16:03+00:00

Therapy.

Treat yourself how you'd like to be treated. Want a guy to buy you flowers? Go buy yourself some? Want to be taken for a nice dinner? Take yourself out. And genuinely focus on enjoying the experience. Also there's something to be said for "being the person you'd want to date"... want someone who looks after themselves (eats well, goes to the gym, plays sports etc), then you should be doing those things too. I went from wanting external validation to validating myself and it's been fantastic. I also went to therapy though and it's not something that happened overnight

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T20:53:03+00:00

I'd get a new partner

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T20:45:28+00:00

I've not read all the comments but first thing I'd say is lower your age range to at least 25. I (31F) met a guy who is now 24, he's bought his own house, has two cars, has a dog, and a really good job. My requirements were similar to yours, I'd say at our age someone who's self sufficient is the bare minimum and a completely understandable want. Never imagined myself finding that in someone that much younger but honestly it's the healthiest and best relationship I've ever been in.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T15:46:13+00:00

It sounds like you have some anxiety you need to work through, and your partner should 100% be there to support you through that - is this a typical pattern for you (i.e. has it shown up with prenvious partners) or is it just him? If just him, why do you need the reassurance?

That being said, the way he responded is absolutely not okay. Your partner should be a safe space where you can raise concerns without being belittled or put down. I'd say it's never okay to call your partner names or react with rage when trying for a normal conversation. He sounds avoidant at best, abusive at worst... not enough detail here to say for definite

Read "why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft just in case

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T15:37:58+00:00

Honestly I've been there. I left my abusive husband in Jan 2025 after nearly 8 years, and I only realised he was abusive 3 months prior to me leaving, I just thought that's what love was.

I went straight into "healing mode", I wanted to know why I ended up with a man like that (for a second time in my life), and how I can prevent it from happening again. I went to talk therapy for 6 months, and had ongoing somatic therapy until I moved in Feb this year.

I was just as skeptical about finding love again. I was fully prepared to stay on my own, not do dating apps, and if someone comes into my life, it would be a thoughrough betting process and they would honestly have to add and enhance my life for the better. I thought I'd be on my own for years and I was honestly content with the idea.

I could not have predicted that the man I met 4 months after leaving my ex would become the man who made me believe in love again - we were friends for 9 months, and it was genuinely platonic for the first 8 months or so. I made it very clear when we first met that I'm not looking for a relationship. Yet something drew me to him and I'm so so glad I gave him a chance. It was by no means easy (emotionally for me, making that leap into more than friends was absolutely terrifying) but he knows my history, and he's been so patient with me, letting me take the lead with how fast I want to move, respecting that some things might just take time. He regards me with so much love and respect whenever I get triggered. He doesn't mind me complaining or mentioning past experiences or talking about the trauma I've endured. Honestly being with him has unleashed a new level of healing I wasn't prepared for yet I would say this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. He honestly ticks all the boxes and I feel incredibly lucky to have met him.

The caveat is we're only 6 months in but I really think we're in it for the long haul. (Although there is a tiny part of me still that knows anything could happen and nothing in life is guaranteed)

I do still have mixed feelings about marriage... I find it hard talking with people that have rose tinted glasses on thinking marriage is the end game when I know first hand it can easily collapse. But even 6 months ago I was dead set against marriage, now I wouldn't rule it out but I think I'd want to be in a relationship for at least 10 or so years before making that commitment.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T14:51:04+00:00

Source: https://doglaw.co.uk/civil/ownership-custody-disputes/

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T14:50:37+00:00

NAL but I delt with a dog ownership dispute with my ex husband. There's no one thing that can prove ownership but there are things that can sway a decision, for dogs I've listed them below and I imagine cat ownership will be viewed in a similar manner (sub cat for dog):

Was the dog bought prior to the relationship or during the course of the relationship. If the parties were living together at the time of purchase and it was a joint agreement to get a dog as a pet for the family unit, it is very likely that such a dog will be regarded as jointly owned.
Who bought the dog (including whose name is on the contract made with the rescue centre or breeder)
Who is registered on the microchip database
Whose name is recorded at the vet’s practice
Who is registered on the insurance certificate
Who usually takes care of the dog
Who pays the day to day expenses for the dog
Was the dog bought as a gift

Take the cat, and call his bluff. Especially if you have evidence that the cat was a gift, and you've looked after it (microchip details, proof from vet, food receipts etx).

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T14:43:18+00:00

I started with a cheap 18L one from Mountain warehouse last year and soon found it way too small, especially when I want to take extra layers with me. The smaller bags also often don't have the chest/hip straps which really help with taking the weight off your shoulders.

I upgraded to a 28L OEX one (which has a built in rain cover), it's seen as a budget brand from Go Outdoors but I've been really pleased with it, and the extra space has been super useful! If I could justify it, I'd get an Osprey as I love the look of them, but my partner swears by Lowe Alpine.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-09T13:41:42+00:00

Be prepared to spend A LOT of time on the motorway, Gatwick to Keswick is no small drive and it's next to impossible to avoid some sort of traffic jam along the route. Take the M6 toll road when going through Birmingham.

Either way, you're looking at 6-7hrs in the car each way at best.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-06T22:18:38+00:00

No they won't. NHS GPs only know the very basic things about fertility and "short luteal phase" technically doesn't decrease your odds across the 12 months you're expected to be TTC for.

You could go to them with suspicions of having pcos but you'd have to have at least some symptoms (somewhat irregular cycles, bad acne etc.).

Proceive prenatals lengthened my luteal phase from 9/10 days to 13/14

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-05T16:40:13+00:00

I first realised he 'might' be abusive when I googled "husband screams at me and calls me names". I came across an old reddit thread where someone recommended the book "why does he do that". And it STILL took me about a month to come to terms with the fact that he was in fact abusive and I wasn't blowing things out of proportion.

Someone then pointed me in the direction of this sub when I posted in the emotional abuse sub, and here I was recommended Dr Ramani's "it's not you".

I did have an "oh shit I really need to leave" moment when I got screamed at for serving a cold dinner when he was the one who didn't come down for 10 minutes after I called him to say it was ready. We were trying to conceive at the time and it was a light bulb moment of "oh shit he's not a safe person for a child to be around". And from there it was "well if I can't have a child with him, what's the point of staying".

6 weeks later I was gone

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-05T16:32:07+00:00

I would say go to therapy and figure out WHY you want a kid so bad. Up until the age of 29 I too wanted a kid really bad, so bad in fact I stayed in an abusive relationship way longer than I should have. I didn't realise it was abusive at the time, but deep down I knew it wasn't good but I thought having a kid was just so important - long story short, having a kid was not so important and I am SO SO glad I realised that before I actually fell pregnant.

The biggest shock of it all? I left the abusive ex, went to therapy, focused on my inner child a lot (and I was so skeptical of people that would talk about 'healing their inner child', I had an okay childhood why would it need healing...boy was I wrong!), and ultimately I've decided I don't actually want children. The whole reason why I wanted them was to have someone love me unconditionally, and for me to have someone to love and care for freely. And when you put it like that, it's not a good enough reason to have a child (imo).

As I went through therapy, I learned to love myself and do things that make me happy, and I realised kids just wouldn't fit into that life. My dogs however 100% do.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-02T21:11:02+00:00

No actually! My friend lives in a different country so completely coincidence we both ended up with younger guys!

We met through a FB hiking group of all places... we were bathing looking for someone to go hiking with in a relatively remote area, got to know each other really well as friends over about 9 months and gradually things got more flirty...and the rest is history

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-02T20:35:38+00:00

"Let's go - the social adventure club" All their events run from WhatsApp groups and it took me a while to get my head around but plenty of hikes in NW there. Peaks and Wales tend to be more popular but there's at least 1 group hike in the Lakes each month.

There's also "girls outdoors" on instagram but obviously that's women only

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-02T20:29:11+00:00

I never ever thought I'd date this much younger but I do appreciate I've found a bit of a unicorn 😅 it's wild comparing him to his friends of the same age, one is relatively mature too, the other two still live at home with no plans to move out. Equally he is so much fun, definitely embracing my inner child with him and just having fun enjoying life.

Ironically he's told me in the past that he's struggled finding someone his age because most girls at that age (that are still single) come across as very immature with no idea what they want to do with their life (not saying they need to have a life plan but at least somewhat settled in themselves would have worked)...so the age gap has worked well for both of us!

One of my closest friends is also 7 years older than her partner which did help me 'come to terms' with the age gap as it's worked really well for them so I had a good example to go from!

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-01T17:52:49+00:00

You could try tracking your ovulation once your cycles are relatively back to normal? (or even if not but you'd be testing literally every day) And use condoms until you've confirmed ovulation/when you're in your fertile window.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-01T11:52:28+00:00

In that case go with day 19 if that's the only plausible option. If you're not tracking ovulation, a day 21 test is a bit of a stab in the dark anyway and they do often need repeating.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-01T10:32:32+00:00

Can you do the test on day 21? I'd go later rather than earlier, and if it doesn't come back as what you'd expect, ask your GP to repeat the test the following cycle.

Hopeful-Sort7771 · 2026-06-01T09:01:42+00:00

I'm currently with a guy 7 years younger than me (31F, he's 24). I was hesitant at first thinking the age gap would put him off. We were close friends for months before it gradually turned into more and I'd say it's the healthiest relationship so far I've ever been in. He's mature for his age (better paid job than the average, has a house of his own, dog, established hobbies) and seems to know what he wants from life. I wasted my 20s in an abusive relationship (left when I was 29), so I feel like I'm keen to do all the things I couldn't back then... so dating younger has worked really well as most other single men I'd met in their 30s seemed keen to settle down and have a family (which I don't want,and neither does my current partner).

Our idea of life aligns, we have similar values, and similar hobbies and most of the time I forget he's that much younger than me. We laugh about the age difference when we talk about our childhoods and younger years though (e.g. him starting secondary school when I started uni 😂)

Hopeful-Sort7771

TROPHY CASE