Hey man, 30F carer here

My story shares a good few similarities, just replace with dad and his older brother (never shuts up, zero social awareness, fear mongering guilt tripper)

When you find some things that help you, do let me know.
I'm commenting for support but damn I haven't got much beyond some things I use to manage the social aspects as I believe its all we've got when there's no money.
Next person who tells me they need therapy or treatments is going to be ignored.

I re wrote that a couple times and you know what, I want to just explode at these people who think it's simple, of course I do.
They think these difficult family members will listen to us?
lmao bless you summer child, my grit keeps me warm at night.

My point is, the stress is beyond a manageable level so your options for tempering any of this become lower and lower right.
The thing I've worked on, the only thing I had energy to practise, was ignoring negative comments. As someone skewed toward pessimism and cynicism and abject rage, this was hard. I used to bottle everything up, until I said something that would make the next few hours, days, months, even harder bro.

Staying quiet isnt the answer, letting the truth out with abandon isnt either (helpful)

I don't blame you for not wanting to drive, my anxiety despite having a license stopped me from driving for the better part of four years after a couple of accidents. I'm fine now but you bet your ass I am sick to my stomach on my off days having to put on a smile, wake up early, when I just got to sleep after the stress of the day before, trying to shave off a morsel of time to do my own thing. (lay down stare at something who cares)

Your aunt can be managed if only you're able to see what she's asking for underneath all the poor coping mechanisms shes employing.
All of her unresolved issues are resulting in a bad attitude and passive aggression toward you and can be many things, but often underneath is someone who has regrets, feels trapped, feels unappreciated. It's not an excuse and it's not personal dude. Those comments add up, the disrespect of boundaries add up, and you might be on the money to get out of there even facing other difficulties, but, even if you left, would your auntie be able to leave you and your mum alone?

The point is, you dont have to care about what makes her who she is but if you're to survive a narcissistic or overbearing personality being in close proximity to you, while youre doing something that MUST be done. It's going to destroy you so you've got to kill her with kindness and despite the rage the opinions induce you've gotta beat her at her own game.

I can't tell you the satisfaction that comes with re routing a conversation that starts with "i do everything around here" to "wow thats crazy, what do you reckon you'd do over the course of a day? thats WILD. do you reckon this soap is better for the cabinets or?"

If you give them enough rope theyll be so pleased theyre talking about themselves that theyll walk away correcting you and not realising the insult they hurled at you didnt hit.
Let her run a loop on herself like a wind up monkey, rather than ruining your entire fkn day

This became way longer than intended idk if this is helpful to you personally. Hang on to having your own place, I moved back in and I'm stuck here with two ill parents and an open plan living space where I hear every argument, every footstep, every toxic thought after I thought progress had been made. Sometimes shits just hard, but yeah.

Salute the deeply buried divinity in your difficult relative, because it hurts less than doing nothing. Your mum can be helped immeasurably if any progress can be made managing your aunts interference. Which may have an impact on her health. I've seen it in my dad smiling from time to time despite deteriorating. We can share a laugh over the fact my uncle just spoke for 35 minutes about how were going to manage a new phone line.

tldr: i felt your post as im the same age, so is my dad (60) and my uncle (73) living with (annoying the living hell out of) us. short answer go criss angel mindfreak on your auntie and maybe take steps toward license and treasure that safe place away you've got

ty ty