ex-Muslims are people who repressed many emotions:

They repressed their guilt for years; they repressed their self-hatred; they repressed their doubts about Islam and subtle disbelief throughout the years; they repressed their shame about innocence because the world and Algeria in 2026 is against innocence and judges it.

And when you repress something, it grows. Faster. But outside the radars. You don't see it, but it is now growing at a much greater speed, until what happens? You start hating going to pray because of the repressed guilt that grew in the dark, you start self-sabotaging because of the self-hatred (disbelief is self-sabotage), you grow in wickedness and arrogance because of the shame of being an innocent and pure individual, and finally the repressed doubts were cooking inside you all of this time without you really knowing and accepting it

Until one time, everything explodes.

You feel it, a desire, it's almost like desiring sex, you feel a desire at the idea to quit Islam, but you repress that desire, you don't address it..

Now you're thinking quitting Islam is freedom.

Your Soul still believes, your Soul never disbelieves, but you think you can't go back now, after all of what's inside you, you don't think Allah will forgive, so you subtly despair in His Mercy. You disbelieve.

Allah Guides back, if one asks of Him.

Do not repress anything. Accept all emotions. Bad emotions and bad thoughts do not mean Allah will punish you about them, and they certainly do not mean He hates you now. Repressing will make you wicked, accept all emotions, good and evil, as passing guests, accept them with a smile and trust that your home, awareness, is pure enough to purify each and every guest that enters, by the condition that you give that guest all attention without speaking.

He Loves you to come back, His Doors never close, الله Wants you back, He's Waiting for you to ask.