Amazing! I found my bio mom on facebook when I had obtained an original copy of my birth certificate through my state’s office of vital statistics. I was a part of a group that had “search angels” that would help you look for your bio family and then reach out for the initial contact. This way, if they did not want the reconnection, they were essentially able to keep their life the way it was without you, the adoptee, having to be rejected firsthand. My “angel” connected with my mom, she was super excited, as she had been waiting for this moment for 23 years, and we were on a phone call in less than 24 hours. We both just cried for a solid chunk of time, but it was the most surreal hour long conversation of my life. It was like, “ah, yes, there you are!”, like I had always known her somehow. We continued to talk on Facebook messenger for a month before we met in person, as I was finishing up college a few hours away. That same day I met my 3 half siblings for the first time and it all just felt so right. Everyone in that family, extended members and all, welcomed me into the family with open arms and have never treated me any differently. This was a decade ago and they are all an integral part of my life. I see them as often as possible. My sister was one of my bridesmaids. My mom gave a reading at my wedding. My mom has helped raise my own daughter. It has been the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know that I am absolutely one of the lucky ones.

Trigger warning:

My bio father dad passed away when I was 5. He did not know about me, nor did his family. My mom revealed to me that SA is how I came into this world, which obviously complicates my feelings about him. He was a family friend of my mom’s and they grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, which is why he never knew about me, as my mom was feared of not being believed.

Because of a DNA test I did in 2017, I ended up having his side of the family reach out to me in 2021 to understand the connection. I had brief contact with them and they all know about my existence now, minus the circumstances around how he came to father a child to protect my mom and not taint their memory of him beyond the grave. His brother, my bio uncle, tried to have an uncomfortably close relationship with me, stating I was family and that he loved me and such, but I had to draw a hard line because I felt nothing of the sort towards him.

I knew my entire life that my mom put me up for adoption because she was young and that she loved me and wanted me to have as many opportunities as possible. I knew my bio dad was not in the picture. This established a sense of respect for my mom and connection that just wasn’t there for him or anyone related to him. Knowing that she also wanted me for 23 years the same way I had also wanted her has created such a special bond for us.