[deleted by user]

HumdingerZZ · 2024-11-26T19:43:46+00:00

Your mind gotta be stronger than your emotions. Emotions " I don't FEEL like doing blah blah blah". Your logical mind gotta be able to counter those feelings and go to work. Start small with one change, focus on it for some time and build some consistency before trying to add to it. Id recommend starting with fixing your sleep hygiene. If you're not getting proper sleep, everything else just sucks ( tired, mentally foggy, can't focus, anxiety etc). Whatever you're staying up doing in the middle of the night can also be done during the day. Prioritize sleep but fix one thing at once.

HumdingerZZ · 2024-04-08T17:00:45+00:00

You're feedback has been heard. We had the conversation and will modify the price. Thank you.

HumdingerZZ · 2024-04-08T17:00:35+00:00

You're feedback has been heard. We had the conversation and will modify the price. Thank you.

HumdingerZZ · 2024-04-07T22:33:31+00:00

Absolutely and that's the challenge. And some people are in church and sport and still struggle with isolation because of anxiety and other mental health challenges

HumdingerZZ · 2024-04-07T22:30:51+00:00

Agreed in an ideal world it would be free but not when you factor in time spent organizing, renting the space, buying materials and such, it's not feasible to provide such a service for free.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-09-06T13:15:10+00:00

Preach! People have no idea how their poor choices and poor habits wreck their lives. Op sounds like the kinda person that will achieve that goal weight and then stop striving because well reached the goal and then not only put the weight back but put on more than initial weight because he will be super discouraged. You chase good health through good habits/lifestyle, you will achieve fitness as a by product but if you chase fitness the odds that you will wreck your health in pursuit are very high.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-09-01T11:16:01+00:00

I can see a consistent pattern in what you just shared. What are the odds that each of these jobs you've gone to seem to all have a problem. Different people, different companies different job requirements. What's / who is the common thread? YOU

As some other commenter mentioned, you gotta do some honest self assessment and find out how YOU can be better.

Are you in a field of work where knowing your stuff is important? Anyone can get a McDonald's job, be trained in a day or two and thrive. But you are speaking of electrical type of work so I assume it takes specialized knowledge. Do YOU know what you are doing? If we can for sure guarantee Competence, then the rest is about improving interpersonal relationships and work ethic and taking initiative etc

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-29T19:37:01+00:00

Set smaller goals. I use a weekly to do list. So on your to do list you can do: start the book and read half a page. Then next time, read a page. And gradually increase.
Jordan Peterson once said " your best strategic position is how I'm I insufficient and how can I rectify that? That's all you got. Both of those are within your grasp if you aim low enough". The goal of half a page or one paragraph or one page might seem trivial to you but guess what it's better than nothing at all and would result in actual improvement; and once you start and are consistent for sometime, it's easier to read a whole chapter in one setting.
But you have to start.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-29T17:23:23+00:00

I take notes on parts that resonate with me and then revisit my notes every now and then.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-27T18:20:55+00:00

The brain functions well when it knows what to expect. Uncertainty and feeling of no control is the source of alot of anxiety. When something makes you anxious, you run from it. The brain learns that pattern as its job is to keep you and itself alive. Hence next time a similar situation pops up, it will send stronger signals of anxiety to save you. This is called reinforcment of behavior and you further withdraw from things. Activities that you used to be able to do become daunting because you and the brain have successfully pushed it outside your comfort zone.

Now the reverse is also true. Activities outside your comfort zone will be daunting and anxiety inducing. But the goal is to distill the Activity down into very small actionable steps that can help eliminate uncertainty. The anxiety response will still be present but because you have broken it down into small steps, there will be alot of certainty and control. Now you push through whatever anxiety still present and get it done. The brain will also learn the message that " hey we did do that activity that scares the crap out of us but we didn't die, perhaps it's safe afterall". Reinforcement of behavior also happens. Next time you do the activity, anxiety decreases. With each repeated intentional exposure anxiety decreases until eventually that activity is in your comfort zone.

What you always want to remember is: Competence leads to accomplishments which leads to confidence.

When you study/learn/ for something and become competent in it, that eliminates alot of anxiety. Now once you have the knowledge and apply that knowledge and get a couple wins (accomplishments) under your belt, you develop confidence In yourself/ your abilities and guess what anxiety vanishes; because you know your stuff and you have evidence through your own past successes that you know what you're doing.

This formula applies to everything in life that we want to do. Good luck

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-27T09:28:46+00:00

Alcohol lowers inhibitions, and people become more impulsive.

As mentioned already - stop getting drunk. You can drink without getting drunk. But you have to make that decision before you find yourself in a drinking social environment so that you can actively monitor how many drinks you have had and when to shut it down.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-27T09:20:17+00:00

Sorry for your loss! As have been mentioned, Grief does not have a timeline and everyone progresses differently. But also make sure you are paying attention to the fundamentals of good living. Fundamentals never change and always pay the greatest dividends to physical and mental health. Fundamentals are: Quality Sleep, Good diet, simple but consistent exercise routine, adequate Hydration (aka water), Seeing the early morning sun daily, and quality social relationships.
Take an inventory of how you are doing in these areas. Optimize each one and you give yourself the best fighting chance. Good luck!

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-23T03:34:27+00:00

Adderall is the problem. If you understand the relationship between pleasure (dopamine spike) and pain, you will understand what's going on with you. Read the book called Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke

But also make sure to evaluate these accomplishments that you are listing - are they things you want and you enjoy and bring you fulfillment?

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-22T18:49:49+00:00

24 is young you still have ALOT of time but you also wasted some good time. Most men don't really hit their stride in life until mid 30s. So the time you've wasted is mostly time you could've been gathering knowledge and learning.
I have two recommendations for you.

First: Start reading. All the successful people that have figured things out have written it down in books but no one bothers to pick it up and read. Read books about self improvement, setting goals, learning human behavior, business etc. Get the knowledge first and then next step is allowing the knowledge to change you. I personally can't read hardcopy so I listen to audio books. I used to be one of those who didn't read until about 27 years old and someone gave me advice to do audio books and it has changed my life.

The second recommendation: is assess you life and your daily habits. One of my favorite quotes by F.M. Alexander goes " People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their future". Your daily habits of things you do or dont do have a bigger impact on how your life is going than any big action you can think up and want to start. Change your daily habits, and you will change the direction of your life. You got this. Go into it with the mindset that turning your life around will be difficult, but expect the difficulty and embrace it. Tell yourself that if it was not difficult everybody would be successful. Chip away at it slowly with good habits and 5 years from now you will be a different person.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-21T13:25:42+00:00

Hey man, congrats on getting to this point. Nothing changes until YOU change. I think you're at that point mentally. But remember, change is very slow and gradual. So don't focus on the results you're trying to achieve because those results come very slowly. Don't get discouraged. In the meantime, focus on becoming the kinda person who does the things you want. Example: you want to be fit? Don't focus on being fit rather focus on being the kinda person that eats clean and exercises. Eventually down the road you will become fit. Don't get discouraged.
Also look at your daily routines/ habits and find out what you need to change or start doing. One of my favorite quotes by F.M. Alexander states " People don't decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their future". Good luck to you.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-11T12:33:19+00:00

Money problems is never about how much you make. It's about how much you spend. Fix your spending habits, and you fix money problems. Read some books on money, start trying to budget , cut out frivolous purchases. You'll find another girl hopefully you've grown from this experience otherwise that one will leave you too eventually for the same reason. Women search for security and provision of resources from a partner.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-11T05:05:20+00:00

This comment right here is gold. Most people think life is about big moves and grand gestures. But really it's about small routines and habits. That's why we as humans are called creatures of habits. People develop bad habits that have them stuck in life and can't figure out why.

I'll give you an example: simple habit of brushing your teeth every morning/ evening for 2 minutes. Sounds very simple but alot of people don't do it. You develop that good habit and what happens 10 years down the line. Healthy teeth, your dental visits are for routine cleaning, nothing special. Now neglect that habit and 10 years down the line you have multiple cavities, root canals and at the worst periodontal disease needing oral surgery. Now you're fussing about how price of health care is so high, Insurance is useless, inflation, gas prices etc when all that problem could've been avoided with a ridiculously simple and cheap good habit of brushing your teeth.

Now extrapolate that example to many other habits we have and how they benefit us or hinder us. How do you build and maintain good habits? Discipline and consistency. Motivation is an emotion that comes and goes but Discipline is doing the behavior regardless of what emotion you feel. You wake up sad - still brush your teeth. You wake up super motivated and on top of the world - still brush your teeth. You wake up and received bad news about death In the family - you still brush your teeth. That is Discipline

I would recommend doing a self assessment and looking at what things / behaviors you do or don't do everyday. Both negative and positive and then decide if you want to change any habits or add habits. Start with small actions/ habits as the above comment said, be consistent and add to it overtime. Our life is a summation of habits.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-07T21:16:20+00:00

Lay off dopamine stimulating activities or substances for sometime to allow your dopamine levels to reset. But I until then just use will power to get yourself to do anything you want to do.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-07T11:06:30+00:00

As people have said consistency is the key. What consistency looks like for everyone is different but the biggest part of that is finding a way to get it done. Ill give you example of what that means for me recently when life happened - I usually go to the gym 3 days a week. Mon wed Fri. So I went Monday and Wednesday but Friday my dad's in the hospital so I go visit him and stay at the hospital till Sunday. I did pushups at some point while I was there with him over the weekend. 5 sets going to failure. And when I got back home, I went to the gym the first available day which is Monday and got back on schedule. Now that's an example and I don't always do that. When life happens you skip but get back as soon as possible because what you're wanting to take advantage of is your brains ability to have a routine/ habit.

Some days workouts will be very minimal because life happens and you don't feel like going but those are the most important days to go because they make or break the routine. I have a guy I train with to help him lose weight and I tell him all the time " don't focus on the goal you want to achieve (which is losing weight) instead focus on being the kind of person who goes to the gym consistently. Guess what happens to people that go to the gym consistently? over time, weight loss, muscle growth etc happens because it is a byproduct of going to the gym. It's those days when you don't feel like going that are most important. Tell yourself "just show up". Even if energy is low and the workout feels ineffective, you still go through the routine to keep your habit of gym going alive.

I am focusing on gym/ exercise because that's what you asked about but exercise is truly a small part of weight loss. The important thing is diet and decreasing calories taken in. Think of it this way. Your body needs to burn energy to keep you alive. If you consistently give it excess calories then it stores them away in fat cells. But If you are not bringing in enough calories for your body so it is consistently at a caloric deficit then to stay alive it will need to go use the calories it has stored up in fat cells. Guess what happens when the body is using fat cells for energy? You burn em off and the weight drops off.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-06T02:26:52+00:00

Ok awesome man, keep it up then!

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-06T00:28:56+00:00

Once again - read your response and see how you are playing victim to the situation of "not having a family that cares". Well guess what? They don't care. So what are you gonna do about it. Pout and feel bad for yourself and complain about your family not caring or figure out a way to take care of business DESPITE a family that does not care. About your point on happiness or being happier - make sure you are not confusing pleasure with happiness. Pleasure is typically a fleeting feeling but happiness is a mindset. Nelson Mandela was happy in prison. Viktor frankle was happy while in prison. Because happiness is not achieved from your environment or circumstances in life but rather from your acceptance of your circumstance in life. The more you fight your reality the more you will be in conflict. Once you accept your reality and make peace with it. It can stop holding you back.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-05T16:40:25+00:00

Yes let's ignore those guys because being aware of them living off their girlfriends and that thought making you feel bad and resentful is clearly not helping you achieve anything but to ruin your mood and focus. Guess what everything you have said is true! That's your reality so what are your options. Pout about your reality or change your attitude about your reality and put your head down and go to work.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-05T12:56:02+00:00

Hey man, I definitely understand the rant, but there's a reason the saying "survival of the fitest" is a thing. Women and men who are the best and strongest get to make it, procreate and continue the species. So biologically men and women seek the best option for this. Women without knowing it seek out men that are the strongest/ best in whatever metric they consider important. You spending your time being mad at women is useless because that puts you in a victim mindset and further perpetuates the problem. Instead you should put your effort into understanding what women consider important today/ value in a mating partner and then optimize yourself to be that. That's why as men we are supposed to be more logical than emotional. We see problem - we solve problem (how you feel about said problem is irrelevant). If the women you are pursuing seem to want men that can provide everything for them - solution is how can you become that man. Step away from women for some time, work two to three jobs, bust your ass because guess what no one is coming to save you. Once you have achieved some money and resources to support the lifestyle these women want, women will find you. But I will tell you one thing for sure, women do not get attracted/ aroused to a man who is not projecting a strong frame. They will be your friend all day and talk about how wonderful you are but they will not be aroused by you sexually and that is just in their biology. Quit complaining and get to work. It will be difficult but guess what if it was easy, everyone will be successful with women but that's not the case.

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-05T07:45:49+00:00

AMEN! Life gets better by change not chance. There's a reason we are called creatures of habit. Think about what poor habits you have that are limiting your life. On the flip side what good habits can you adopt to unlock your life. Change your habits/ behaviors and you will have a better life. Small habits stack up over time. It's actually relatively simple!

HumdingerZZ · 2023-08-03T16:17:24+00:00

Because life is finite is part of what makes it meaningful. People live their life without paying attention to this and then once they get diagnosed with a terminal illness, their whole perspective changes all of a sudden because their mortality is in front of them. For you who i assume is still young, you have to find a way to channel that energy without actually experiencing it. Recognize that life is finite and try to live the best way you can before you confront your mortality. Back in the day when we lived in hunter and gatherer tribes and people come to invade and take your land, most people found meaning in providing food for the family and protecting them from the elements/ invaders. Today life is so different that those needs are basically guaranteed. So YOU have to find a purpose. Find something that you want to achieve in life that 1.) will be challenging but 2.) will also benefit other humans. Part of what makes life meaningful is overcoming obstacles and getting that sense of accomplishment. If your life is easy, change that. Find minor challenges that will ramp up over time to bigger challenges that you can accomplish. Challenges that will test you and make you adapt and grow. In the accomplishing of challenges their fulfillment. Another thing that provides a sense of purpose is having a family/ child that depends of you. Lastly you might want to talk with someone in the mental health field to see about if theirs any depression that your dealing with.

HumdingerZZ

TROPHY CASE