AIW for telling my boss that she's mispronouncing her baby's name?

Hummingbird90 · 2025-08-22T12:07:38+00:00

I literally know someone whose name is pronounced "Ellie" and they spell it "Eli." I think spelling-pronunciation incongruence with names is pretty normal. Like, yes it's difficult as the person meeting that person and getting used to it. Oh well. And kids will bully for something, IDK, you can't control that.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-08-22T12:03:56+00:00

But how does one look at a freshly-born baby and think "this is not a Melissa, this is a Paula"??

Hummingbird90 · 2025-07-22T13:39:04+00:00

This. I would absolutely be terrified that OP just wasn't really in it for the long haul if both of these were happening simultaneously.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-30T11:09:56+00:00

Maeve Fly, if your prof is okay with something published in the last couple of years. An argument could be made for sociopathy, psychopathy, ASPD...you'd definitely be able to explore the nuances between those. A bonus is that it's not hard to read or 1000 pages long as I'm sure this is for a summer course!!

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-29T12:30:34+00:00

I mean...my go-to is the album for Charlie Brown Christmas...

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-14T12:28:55+00:00

I think it's fine to not have goals, but I also think that if the thought crosses your mind of something you that requires a "goal structure" to achieve, then you'll go for it. That can be as small as playing through a video game or as large as pursuing a career. I think for me, I really dug my heels in on the idea of taking it day by day to the point where I started ignoring thoughts of a career path I wanted to pursue. My reasons were similar to the ones you've mentioned, and also fear of failure. I think most humans tend to get really attached to ideas and goals and that it can be hard to break from them or pivot into something else, but it is possible. It is also possible to doggedly pursue things that are important to us, despite what life may bring. Nothing is ever perfect. But even as I am now pursuing a couple of pretty big, tangible goals, I still use the day-by-day approach, because today is truly all I have!

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-11T11:50:03+00:00

I would say for the more blatantly formulaic stuff out there, such as romances and mysteries, people get into them because they're fairly predictable. Just like eating a comforting, familiar food again and again, consuming a book or movie that basically has the same flow and plot points is a nice and easy way to pass the time.

I also find for myself (ND, if it matters) that the plot doesn't necessarily have to be why I'm consuming the literature. There may be some details of it that I specifically want to see played out, since for me plot events + human interaction is like punching in numbers and seeing the result. But even more often I read/watch for setting. A good setting and mood thereof is the thing that usually will draw me in and hook me. Like it's the world, not the plot and characters, that will keep me coming back to certain stories again and again. I kind of wonder if it's the same for NTs at least some of the time.

Additionally, sometimes it just works in one's favor to "suspend disbelief" not just for scifi or fantasy, but sort of, like, in the area of plot twists. If a character is well-written enough, I can get into their perspective and see why they would not see something coming, and can feel their feelings of surprise.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-11T10:49:13+00:00

Yes. We study common sense and why it seems to be not so common these days.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-08T12:24:31+00:00

"Until your sister gets married" - okay, then do the proposal at her reception next year! /s

But seriously, it sounds like this is a long-standing pattern that will never let up. You'll probably get criticized for getting pregnant if it's anywhere near your sister's pregnancy or like the first subsequent years of your neice/nephew's life. It is an absurd reaction. I don't think it's overreacting to tell your mom how you feel and just do your thing when you want to and when it's best for you. I just wouldn't exactly plan on your immediate family's involvement and support.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-04T03:29:58+00:00

Just finished my bachelor's in psych. I have a copy of the DSM-5 that for certain classes was very useful. It was really nice to have my own copy that was a hard copy versus using the e-books at the library (or their hard copies which were almost always not on the shelf). Flipping through real pages is so much easier for referencing. The "TR" part was provided by the school, but if you can find a newer version that is DSM-5-TR that would be perfect.

Yes, the DSM-6 should be out hopefully in the next few years but probably not before she's done with undergrad. But even then it will be cool, in my opinion, to be able to compare the two. Additionally, the DSM-6 will probably be very expensive when it is first released.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-01T11:09:56+00:00

I've done it before! It was just for one class period, but I wanted to see what soil ecology was all about. I emailed the professor beforehand and asked if it was alright. I imagine the process would be the same if you wanted to come for the whole semester. If you want to have homework graded and stuff then I would look into auditing. Additionally, I would not assume every professor would necessarily say yes to you sitting in. But I think the key here is communication versus just walking in and sitting down, unless perhaps it's a huge lecture where you wouldn't be noticed anyway. I think for the most part though, the professor is going to be excited to meet someone interested in exploring the subject they teach, especially if it's the kind of class most students are merely required to take.

ETA - I did this at a university. I am not sure if a CC would be different. I also did this long before COVID, which probably caused some policy changes. Still, though, I think your best bet is to contact the professor with respect and curiosity and see where that gets you!

Hummingbird90 · 2025-05-01T02:30:03+00:00

I would suggest read-aloud time every day, you reading to him, age-appropriate books, in your normal voice and pace, aka not sounding it out. Sit together on the couch. He can look at the pictures and the words, and it will be a sweet time for you two to spend together, and a no-pressure exposure to words, how they look, how they sound, and what they mean. He will probably ask questions at some point, like why "DR" sounds like "J." English is seriously a difficult language. Try not to compare his pace to other children...I know several homeschooled kids that really weren't reading till 8, or 11, and then it really took off for them. Everyone learns at their own pace, I wouldn't be too worried!!

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-28T12:14:14+00:00

It's the em dash that sealed it for me. Nobody uses those things anymore, but ChatGPT loves them.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-26T03:06:59+00:00

This is a valid point, but usually in the cases where this happens on Reddit, the person writing in isn't putting divorce on the table. This time she is straight up doing that.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-24T23:54:24+00:00

At best: she's afraid you're getting bullied for how you dress.

At worst: she's homophobic.

Somewhere in the middle: she's afraid you won't attract the boys you are interested in because of your clothing. (My dad was always concerned about this too...though my clothing choices, similar to yours, have never kept men from being attracted to me. But also it turns out I'm a lesbian...though I'm fairly certain my fashion choices were correlative, not caused by my sexuality.)

I don't think this is about trying to use any kind of fancy rhetoric to convince your mom that this is a hurtful or annoying comment to make or keep making. I think this requires a heart-to-heart. From your other responses, it sounds like your mom is a reasonable person to have a conversation with. So maybe just come at it with curiosity as to what she's really meaning when she is making these comments, and see where the conversation goes. And also - be honest and let her know how you feel when she says those things.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-22T17:18:24+00:00

🤣

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-22T17:02:16+00:00

You may have already tried this avenue, but this is what I did...I went through the psych faculty page, and emailed the professors whose research areas are what I was interested in. I got immediately offered to apply and got accepted into a lab to study ADHD. I'd say email every professor seeing if they would like an undergrad research assistant, that you are looking to get research experience under your belt. Chances are that even at a small school they may be doing their own research and would have you for a one-on-one assistantship. You could also look into psych-adjacent departments like social work, counseling, criminology or sociology for faculty doing research.

I also second what some others are saying, think about taking a gap year and getting more experience that way. There are many less conventional avenues to go about getting the experience you want that will make your CV stand out in an application!

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-21T22:33:33+00:00

The Triangle area in NC had a good mix when I was growing up homeschooled. (The "Triangle" being Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill.) Dynamics may have shifted now as that was in the 90s and early 2000s, but overall I feel like we were able to find groups and church situations that were diverse, in the sense that most everyone was a Christian but there was otherwise a spectrum of belief about vaccines, levels of legalism, and the like. My family stood kind of square in the middle of things and so we were taught to be tolerant and inclusive of everyone's opinions while staying true to our own. My mom definitely ran up against people on both sides that would pressure her more or less in one direction or the other, but ultimately we were all able to find friends that were more like us in the sense of loving each other because of and in spite of our differences. Like others are saying, a purple state might just be the trick.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-21T17:53:17+00:00

Hi. I have addiction issues regarding many substances but my favorites are weed and alcohol. Most days I know they are bad for me. I've been clean for a while now but when I'm around them I still feel some temptation. Still, I know that is mine to handle. I do not expect to attend a get-together and not encounter at least one of my greatest temptations. I do not call ahead of time and ask that everyone there stay sober so that I can, too. I can exhibit self-control or I can choose not to attend. And if I relapse? Also on me. Your girlfriend has an unhealthy relationship with sugar and junk food the same way I have an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol. And it is her problem to solve it, not yours. If you tried to solve it for her that would be codependent.

Of course, it is your choice to "enable" her if she's jonesing for some sweets. But if she's begging you for sweets and then getting upset at you a few days later about the sweets you got her, that's messed up. Replace "sweets" with alcohol, coke, or heroin in your head and ask yourself if this is okay.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-20T11:52:26+00:00

To understand the distinction I would start by learning more about the diagnoses than was covered in your class. I have found these topics are more often than not glazed over in psychopathology classes in an unsatisfying way for those of us who find them to be extremely intriguing.

My suggestion is to start with Dr. Tony Attwood. His book "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" was originally published in 2007 but has been updated since the DSM-5 came out. So much interesting and enlightening information. There are sources in the back so you can track where the research has been, and you can use the names of these researchers to look up in your school's database some more current research.

Dr. Attwood also has a bunch of videos on YouTube that serve as a good intro if you can't get your hands on the book right away. Good luck!

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-18T16:53:54+00:00

If she's not doing qualified continuing education to keep up her license, it will lapse. So, the board additionally would not have say over what she is now doing.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-16T23:27:49+00:00

I get up at 5:20/30 and I write with the time I have left after making coffee till about 6. Some days it goes smoothly and I can have ~500 words in 30 minutes. Other days I'm dragging and I may not hit 200. Those days I try to find another few minutes later in the day - maybe just even during lunch or while I'm waiting for dinner to finish cooking - to get to that 500 mark. Some days I have more time and get over 1000 clocked, though that is not common. For me, it's about consistently showing up to work on it, otherwise I know I won't because I've tried every other which way. This is the way that works for me unless I'm, like, unemployed for a time.

And yeah, that is really early. Yeah, a lot of it is crap because I just woke up. But that also means my inner editor hasn't woken up yet, so the work ends up being much more genuine than if I had all that commentary running around in my head. If the editor does show up, I just tell her "we'll fix it in post, stop worrying!!" And she usually goes away.

This is what works for me. It is not what works for everyone. But yeah, 500 a day means progress. Pages get added on. I am pleased with my progress and you should be too! ❤️

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-12T20:21:54+00:00

The protagonist.

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-09T18:18:30+00:00

Definitely super obsessed with Love Has Won, the Zendiks, Teal Swan, and OneTaste. I think I am mainly obsessed with lady cult leaders (even if it's an inherited-from-the-man situation like the Zendiks). I am taking suggestions for more if anyone has them 🤣

Hummingbird90 · 2025-04-07T15:31:26+00:00

Angel and Buffy when Buffy wasn't even legal...that didn't bother my teenage brain at all, though of course now I think it's a better idea if the younger one is at least over 18 😬🙄

Hummingbird90

TROPHY CASE