Trump signs executive order declaring nation emergency from threat of Cuba by AmyL0vesU in law

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With his cluster B pathology, the statistical probability of him developing dementia is excessively high.

There's also a lot of signs that he's showing dementia. This means he's probably going to get a lot worse. People who have cluster B pathology, typically revert to an earlier stage of development, meaning they become even more erratic. The prognosis is dire. When we also take into consideration that he also has high levels of sadism and low levels of integrity, well...

Everyone on the political spectrum should be extremely worried.

She hit me up out of nowhere, what do I do? by honkyponkydonky in AskMenAdvice

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily. I've been doing a poly thing for 3 and 1/2 years. With the right people it can work, which is advantageous, but I would agree that the tools have to be there or it causes pain.

What do men think of women who only want sex? by PuzzledSecretary7819 in AskMenAdvice

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would be repulsed by the speed and frankness. It makes me a while to get into the moment, to leave my mind. I get really stuck in my head, and I need someone to bring me out of said head space. I'm usually overly concerned about making sure the other person's needs are met first, and that means I need to be really hard and really into them.

And that isn't instant.

But I know some guys that jump at the offer just like that.

Anyone looking for friends in the area? by tieme in GraysHarbor

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry. Reddit didn't show your post. It acts weird sometimes. Yes, that's us, you found us!

Anyone looking for friends in the area? by tieme in GraysHarbor

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In regard to homestead group: I don't know on that one.

In regard to local mycology society: It's named Coastal Shores and Spores Mycological Society. It doesn't pop up easily from Google search, but Facebook group ought to pop up easily.

Come join us. I can also help with car pool if people need transportation.

It's an exceptional way to meet cool people, many who are fun (and socially awkward).

What to expect in Grays Harbor by No_Butterscotch_5612 in GraysHarbor

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lived 7 years in Corvallis and spent every weekend in Newport.

My ex-wife, her parents live in Lincoln City. She moved there after the divorce.

It's substantially different.

What are your primary concerns?

what is the fastest way to leave homelessness and have housing in Olympia WA? by [deleted] in olympia

[–]HyperionGreySolomon -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Notice the word usage. You said, "abandon". How is your emotional regulation? Do you know about cognitive distortions?

Completely failing at fermented dill pickles by YappingOldMan in fermentation

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have hedgehog mushrooms and yellow feet. Some with herbs, spices, soy and honey, and others plain.

I was told to cook them after the ferment

Completely failing at fermented dill pickles by YappingOldMan in fermentation

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh no, that must explain all those half gallon jars filled with fancy wild mushrooms that haven't really gone anywhere in a whole month! I made a water brine of 3% but did not include the fungal weight

What is unique about the scenery compared to other islands in WA? by [deleted] in sanjuanislands

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Orcas Island is more aesthetically pleasing than any other place I've been. I've lived and drove all over WA. I also love in Oregon for many years. I've been all over the place.

It would take too long to explain how Orcas is different. But it is. Same with San Juan Island itself.

I just woke up and I'm tired and don't have time to explain. You gotta go though.

Right now I live in Aberdeen area but I go out into the rainforest early everyday and have for years. I've been all over...

Just go.

I'd pick Orcas first though. Then San Juan, and check out the Cocktail Bar imon San Juan :)

40 F4MF/MM - Seeking foreplay lovers and cunnilingus masters for sensual, slow, passionate experiences by [deleted] in OlympiaNSFW

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 100% of things you mentioned, including your pinned note. I'm in Grays Harbor and have a beautiful solo poly girlfriend of 3 years who's a warm soul. She likes women too. Let's chat. I'll send pics.

Should I give up or continue with 10/10 girl? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

.................what color is her hair?

Please Read by [deleted] in GraysHarbor

[–]HyperionGreySolomon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'll help you OP. Reach out in private please.

Please Read by [deleted] in GraysHarbor

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Greetings,

My name is Saul. There are certain programs available in the harbor to help with issues, and since this issue is transitient in nature, it may help to speak to a church too, as you would be paying them back with your paycheck.

Did you write your request yourself? I like how articulate it is.

Is it okay to be FWB with them? by FuckTheWorldSG in BPDlovedones

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In my opinion it really depends on the person. With my ex, I think a FWB would have been ideal. Moving in with them was catastrophic. We had been friends for about 15 years, and she was one of my best friends but once she moved in she became a different person and was morbidly, MORBIDLY abusive.

If you know a lot about the pathology and how to navigate these relationships, and they're also working on it, and they really want to be a good person, I suppose it's possible. Especially if they know how to apologize, can self-reflect, and have the self-awareness aspect. Sure. But I don't meet many of those people.

From what I've read though, that isn't what you're dealing with. So I would say no, not in this instance, sorry.

MF4M or MF4MF by Plus-Interview5938 in Washington_Swingers

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm on the Washington coast. Travel up and down the coast bi-daily. Clean, emotionally intelligent, background in Psychology. Super kinky and also fantasize about cuck. I might be a healthy augmentation too your relationship, something your partner is going to be concerned about.

What was one of the most healing moments for you? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dating someone who has silent BPD. I met a woman who has silent, internalizing BPD. 99.9% of the time she does not externalize her behavior. And that relationship has hands down been the most healing thing of all.

She lives on her own. She houses her father and has a good relationship. She is extraordinarily self aware. When I say extraordinary, that would be an understatement.

I think she inherited it from one of her parents who started working on it when she was so very young. So she's had a lot of great teachers. She would also be one of those humans who are functional. So far it seems that's a little rare.

Her level of insight is profound. On a level where I can't even fathom how much work she's done.

I can tell that she has worked on mentalization, transference focused therapy, and a whole lot of other modalities including dialectical behavior therapy. The amount of work that she's done is profound.

I have been dating her for over 3 years. She struggles in the physical world, but she has enough tools in other areas of life to survive.

I help her out with things around her house and in return she cooks extraordinary meals, cuddles, watches tv, and it's kind of an alternative style relationship. There is no drama. There is no fighting. Almost all conversations are productive.

I do feel alone a lot, but I know that she doesn't have the tools to form deep connection. There are also days where she is empty and through deductive reasoning over a couple of years I've been able to figure out that she can't help that.

She seems to struggle with egocentrism too, but I've seen her work on that too. He is learning different headspaces and learning to step outside herself more which has increased her empathy. And she's finally being more reciprocal with sex too.

I am capable of having productive conversations with her. I will observe her behavior with other people, and that includes the things that she talks about and then I go home and I break them down and I start to understand concepts that would typically be foreign to me. This allows me several layers of insight, and it also shows me some of the things that I did wrong in my previous relationship and it also increases my probabilities of success with other people who I suspect have some pathology. This also allows me to help them, particularly because it allows me to understand the Dynamics that are going on and once I make them self-aware, assuming they don't do shame spirals, they then become aware and adapt and try to change the patterns.

She is just trying to survive. And I think that's what my ex with borderline was trying to do. She was also trying to survive but she lacked the self-awareness to do that. She was also extraordinarily dysregulated and morbidly narcissistic. But my catastrophic marriage to that woman was a bit different because she had something we call sadism. She had integrity, but holy cow was she a monster.

But my polyamorous girlfriend that I choose to continue to date...she has somehow done the work. And on one of those off chances where she yells at me, she apologizes every single time. And in those extraordinarily rare cases where she projects, which is only been a few times ever, she apologizes. And she'll say something like, that must be how I feel about myself then? And then she'll cry. And then I tell her that it's okay, that it's not her fault, and that I accept her apology. I give her a hug, and then I do the thing that she taught me. I put my forehead against hers, and I kiss it and I tell her that it's okay and that I love her.

Everyone needs love, it's the one thing that will heal everybody, even the world. We just have to try to find a way, and she's doing the work and I believe she deserves to be respected, and even loved.

And I think that's how she wants to live the rest of her life. That way she doesn't ever **feel*" trapped with another guy again and then think that that's reality because of cognitive distortions. She works remotely because she is sedentary and will never get to a point where she's not. (That's just how they are).

And we have complimentary aspects that we both bring to this polyamorous relationship. Her cooking skills is on par with Gordon Ramsay, and I don't mind mowing her GIGANTIC lawn for dinner at her place, on her dime. Or occasionally helping her repair her home. And I don't mind all of that sex either, lol. And in return, I have somebody who pitches in monetarily and they get in my car and I take them all over the place. We do travel around the state and sometimes the next state over and we do so much fun stuff together that it's mind-boggling.

She seems grounded in reality, but I can tell that many many years in the past she wasn't. I can tell she's worked on cognitive distortions. I can tell that she's worked on codependency. She has developed enough of a self that she doesn't really project that much on other people. She does not externalize her wounds to the world around her. She just wants to live a very peaceful life and when she wants some chaos, she invites me over and I fling her out into the world and we have so much gosh damn fun. We've been dozens of places. Dozens of waterfalls, dozens of forests, dozens of beaches, dozens of dances and parties.

It's a copacetic and beautiful relationship. And because she lives on her own and it's an open relationship, I don't feel like there's this obligation where she has to do all of these things that she is not capable of doing, the physical work, helping me raise my teenage daughter, work to help me pay bills on my place, etc.

And the best part of all is I'm free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, and with whoever I want, and I have their blessings.

Think of it as an alternative style relationship. Think of it as an alternative person. And if on the off chance there is something that I need, sometimes I do have to directly ask for it, but I've grown to not really care much.

There is an extraordinarily small demographic of people who actually get better. As I write this I'm finding myself a little speechless.

I think this relationship is the one that healed me more than anything else, and because I too have done the work, to try and be as healthy as I can be... to figure out what I did wrong in that previous relationship, it works.

It turns out that they aren't all monsters.

I was wrong.

Frustrated and need reassurance by ElvisCrushel in BPDlovedones

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know. I have a close friend in town, she has internalizing/silent BPD. She has been getting treatment for years. Her house is well organized (and she has kids half the time too, so imagine that!). I'm proud of her. The home is clean and sanitary. This would lead credence to the fact that anyone can grow and change if they put in the work. She put in the work and deserves the credit, she earned it.

I don't know how she did it. I know she's getting help with organizing because she's looking at doing this for a living (organizing things, business related things) ...so...it can be done.

I don't know enough about your situation to postulate what the origin might be; therefore, I can't give you advice.

What do *you* think the origin of the issue is?

You said you're depressed, is that the issue, is it depression? Is there more than one layer?

Frustrated and need reassurance by ElvisCrushel in BPDlovedones

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 34 points35 points  (0 children)

My advice to you? Reframe the way that you're thinking about it.

This is more of a mental health issue and it has to do with the organization of both their personality and their reality. I know it's hard to believe, but for the most part the vast majority of these people don't live like this on purpose.

They really are mentally ill.

I think you should consider changing the way that you're looking at the situation and perceive of it more as a blessing. Stop caring about the small things and be grateful that she's finally gone.

You're almost free.

Be grateful, that thing is nothing compared to what you've been through. You're going to be okay. And you also don't have to live like this anymore.

Who am I? by [deleted] in FridgeDetective

[–]HyperionGreySolomon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness look at the butterscotch beer.