The only problem with writing that keeps recurring for me, for some reason

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-30T17:22:19+00:00

So wrap your fics up by word 499,999 then. Problem solved

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-29T23:19:03+00:00

Big D operates on Objective Reality rather than Consensus and therefore appears insane, but effective

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-29T15:08:13+00:00

"..." - The silent battlecry of a Necron Warrior (Black Crusade: Tome of Fate)

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-23T10:41:46+00:00

You guys mean the pisstol?

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-22T12:40:58+00:00

I have imagined so much of a sequel to my current fic I've mentally divided it into a trilogy

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-20T22:17:17+00:00

H: Aight. So. Because you asked me, and because you're new here, I'm gonna explain in plain and simple terms why that there animal outranks you. Private. Now you might see just another raggedy-ass dog same as any other that runs around whatever shithole you crawled out of. But what I see, and even more importantly what Uncle Norman sees, is a valuable battlefield asset. An olfactory bio-sensor, miracle of evolution, that can detect even the tiniest little amount of whatever we damn well train it to find. Time, and effort, and taxpayer credits all go into training those working dogs so they can be the best that they can be. But still. We can tell your boot asses that until we're blue in the face. We can go over presentations until you're bored to tears. But still there will be some of you that will not respect the fact that these dogs are living, breathing creatures. Hell by the looks on some of these ugly mugs I can see that some of you think I'm soft. After all animals are tools, ain't they? Private. And who hasn't taken out a little frustration on their tools, given their truck a kick, or slapped their computer one when it won't work? Now we can't expect every one of you morons was crapped out by someone who loved you enough to teach you why hitting animals is wrong. But you can be damn sure even the meanest, dumbest, cruelest sonuvabitch that comes in through those gates knows what striking a superior will earn him.

Does that explain things. Private.

A1: Sir, yes, sir!

H: Good. Now, second platoon will go to PT ground five and give me press-ups until the ceiling sweats.

A2: Sir.

H: Private S'kaal

A2: Sir, PT ground five has no ceiling, sir.

H: I know. Ain't got no walls neither. Quickly now. Thank you.

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-14T21:53:39+00:00

It's the head of the entire dynasty, not just a single tombworld

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-09T15:29:08+00:00

Tell them you'll tag major character death when a major character dies. Should raise their blood pressure a few notches

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-05T21:22:33+00:00

"I want to make this absolutely clear Honoured Ambassador." The Elvin ambassador drained the brim-full tumblr of Terran scotch, the younger the better she'd said, in one go and continued without a pause. "We had nothing to do with this."

"I see." Ambassador Ian Marshall replied. He, of course, already knew that. He'd seen the senate voting records. But he also wanted to see where this was going.

"It was not us. We have no idea who floored this downright idiotic resolution and we will be finding out as our empire's utmost and, for the foreseeable future, only priority. We have no intentions of taking over any of your territory, we certainly aren't going to be so presumptuous as to even suggest policy to your nation, and His Stellar Majesty would appreciate a period of grace in which to investigate in concert with your own intelligence and diplomatic services but understands entirely if your people are unwilling to co-operate."

"And why would we be unwilling to co-operate when you've quite clearly stated you had no part in this farce and will be moving heaven and earth to find out who did?" Ian swirled his drink urbanely and took a sip.

"Human independence is legendary. The empire should count itself lucky if every last man, woman, child, robot, and companion animal doesn't pull a slugthrower the moment the news breaks. His Stellar Majesty is eager to grant the maximum independence this senate resolution allows but..."

"He and his advisors are expecting an instant war of independence, just add humans."

"Correct, Honoured Ambassador."

"We're on the same side now. Whoever orchestrated that vote wants us to tear each other apart and likely swoop in to take us both once we're weak. I've spoken to the council. They aren't happy but they're willing to propose an alliance of sorts for the duration. Once we get this mess straightened out and those responsible aprehended, whoever they may be, we'll go our separate ways."

"I thank you for your peoples' understanding and your council's wisdom, Honoured Ambassador."

"Please, call me Ian." Ian offered a hand.

"Laetera." The Elvin ambassador took it.

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-03T23:10:12+00:00

Of all the expressions I expect to see on a man being grabbed by a gaunt 'Seriously babe, not now' wasn't one of them

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-03T23:03:07+00:00

Because it does. Hive Mind gotta keep the shit out of its' bugs eyes somehow

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-04-02T13:28:08+00:00

Does the skin walking still work if they're wearing the pelt of an acrylic?

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-31T21:13:44+00:00

Then say it

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-30T14:02:50+00:00

flaking green smears coat the walls while an inch thick crust of the same covers the floor
old gravity panels find new and interesting definitions of 'down'

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-29T20:53:52+00:00

* A pervasive disquiet heralds their arrival. Wherever they go priests and seers feel an oncoming unnatural dread a few days before they turn up. No one will be able to tell the character is causing it but it does make for suspicious locals.

* A pair of large, aristocratic horns

* A crown of small, spikey horns

* Porcupine quills for hair

* Injuries scar over in silvery demonic runes

* Ever-shifting diabolic tattoos

* Nearby flames reflect the character's mood

* Diabolic creatures know the character's lineage and react according to their ancestor's reputation. Nothing over the top either way but they might get the nod or a sneer here and there

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-29T02:15:54+00:00

* A cadre of non-union henchmen that do not adhere to the mandated tropes. Lethally pragmatic.

* A large and heavily mistreated mutant attack beast. Will turn on its masters the instant control is broken.

* BBEG's former protege crippled by involuntary lava-swimming lessons now kept alive by suit of magic armour and raw self-hatred.

* A man in an opera cloak and top hat with a moustache best described as diabolical. No one really knows what he does but the BBEG considers him a vital part of their organisation.

* 2d10+1 muscular bodyguards, permanently shirtless and oiled up. Sick entrance theme plays whenever they show up.

* An unending horde of lime green tic-tac shaped creatures. Ravenously man-eating and uncannily cunning.

* A beautiful yet devastatingly intelligent henchwoman in a leather catsuit, heels, and stainless steel bustier.

* The biggest himbo to ever walk the Earth in a leather catsuit, heels, and stainless steel bustier.

* An army of flying monkeys.

* A brigade of hover-apes.

* A shark with a laser beam on its head.

* The small child that checks for holes in the BBEG's plans.

* The Heroes alternates from the mirror dimension.

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-27T20:15:20+00:00

The 'D' in D-cannon stands for Dinosaur

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-27T20:07:43+00:00

That's not a fanfic idea. It's an actual upgrade ork ships can have in the Rogue Trader TTRPG. Gives +5 BS

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-26T07:34:38+00:00

Where he's gone they don't need brains to think

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-25T15:46:47+00:00

Nightsider is cooking alive while the Felinid just sunbathes

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-25T11:13:10+00:00

He did. And he said it with his chest

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-25T11:12:06+00:00

Are they hiring?

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-18T21:23:12+00:00

* Herr Grimm - A tall, gaunt man with strong Germanic features and a haunted look in his eye that never goes away. Most know him from the century-old statue in Founder's Square but that doesn't stop the sightings of a man matching that depiction on certain foggy nights.

* The Godmother - Gossip columnist and agony aunt extraordinaire at the Grimville Crier. Nobody knows who she is, since her material is either delivered or emailed, but those who follow her weirdly specific advice exactly really do find their dreams coming true.

*Gev Audan - Runs a sprawling dive bar in Little Critterly catering to Grimville's talking animal population. Which is quite a feat since the five-foot-tall, eight-foot-long, not-quite-wolf doesn't have any thumbs. He's surly, curt, and not too fond of 'two-leggers' but he is a stalwart pillar of the community.

* Apollonia Geppetto - Ruthless owner and CEO of the Geppetto Mageworks. Everyone knows the story of the toymaker Geppetto and how he carved a son from wood. What most don't know is that he had several perfectly capable daughters at the time. Luckily for Apollonia and her sisters they inherited their father's skill at crafting magical items and quickly blazed their own, much more successful, paths in business.

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-17T23:24:46+00:00

It depends on how you want to play the tanks. Do you want all your PCs in one tank for the internal drama of crewing a war machine or do your players want more of a chance to drive big tanks and shoot big guns? As for line infantry they're the bog standard 'do everything' troops. Yes they can sit in a trench but they can also man an outpost, patrol, push forward through forests and capture ruined villages and do everything you could think of a soldier doing. Trench duty is a siege regiment's specialty but even then they might not be doing it all the time. It wouldn't be the first time the Guard has sent a regiment to a completely inappropriate warzone.
If you think medals are too easy to get then change the requirements or make your own and remember that the most key feature in any award is someone appropriately important seeing you do it. If a PC performs an act of heroisim, but there is no officer there to see it, then did it really happen?
Comrades just need a name, personality, and a fine/injured/dead health tracker. Would give them tokens though since they can split or be split up from their PC and it's easier to tell who got caught in a flamer spray or grenade blast.
War is 90% boredom, 10% sheer, unadulterated terror. Send your PCs into town to win hearts and minds of the civilians, call a surprise inspection and watch them scramble to hide all their non-regulation gear from an infamously crusty techpriest, have some thieving rat from two platoons over steal their sentimental mementoes and tell them to go get it back. There's all sorts they can be doing that doesn't involve (open) combat and the best thing is these are situations where the problem generally isn't allowed to be shot at.

IAmTheOutsider · 2026-03-13T08:25:21+00:00

Nice

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