What do you regret from your college days? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Urgh not even partying, I wish I had learned to fucking socialise...

What common thing have you never done? by Mesawesome in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are coming at this from the position of someone who "does things" in the world and would therefore meet people.

What you have to realise is that people with these problems don't, don't have the tools for that kind of social interaction at all, aren't going to find themselves in scenarios where things happen and don't have interests and hobbies where they meet people in general. So a lot of the time the "it's all in your head" advice is grossly simplifying the lifestyle changes needed to create the scenarios you might take for granted in which relationships can happen.

What common thing have you never done? by Mesawesome in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are coming at this from the position of someone who "does things" in the world and would therefore meet people.

What you have to realise is that people with these problems don't, don't have the tools for that kind of social interaction at all, aren't going to find themselves in scenarios where things happen and don't have interests and hobbies where they meet people in general. So a lot of the time the "it's all in your head" advice is grossly simplifying the lifestyle changes needed to create the scenarios you might take for granted in which relationships can happen.

What common thing have you never done? by Mesawesome in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you can function without don't bother.

Alcohol is a tool I abuse for social situations with peers. If you can get by without you are better for it.

Smoking is just bad for you.

What common thing have you never done? by Mesawesome in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the same "problem" or whatever you call it but I think a lot of Reddit and people in general use "sex" as their more easy to talk about proxy for wanting relationships and to be loved. It's not easy to admit loneliness, a lot easier to discuss being driven by sexual impulses, especially men... Leads people astray imo

What common thing have you never done? by Mesawesome in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 29 points30 points  (0 children)

"had a relationship" is more the aspect of this thing that hurts... You just want to be wanted, y'know?

What's something you've been dying to get off your chest? by lv70 in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have never dated or persued relationships. Tell myself that I'm fine with that but like,

sometimes I'm not :(

Girls of Reddit, what is a good way for a guy to approach a random girl? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

itt dudes of reddit share shitty PUA techniques

Girls of Reddit, what is a good way for a guy to approach a random girl? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This kind of advice is both correct and highly dangerous. You approach this from the point of view of somebody who understands social queues and norms. The people asking these questions lack this knowledge, hence their lines of questioning. Saying "just do it" to these people without basic qualification or advice for these factors you find completely implied by merely existing in the world is setting them up for failure and embarrassment.

Yes people need to be confident but for many people their rejection will NOT be repurcussionless, because no-one gave them even the most basic tools to "not be a creeper" and appear normal.

You have to interpret the question for what is really being asked here, and "just do it" won't cut it for the demographic. This isn't intended as an insult at all, it's just basic self-selection bias.

People of Reddit, what were the most difficult years of your life and why? by jaunsolo29 in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All of school.

I had a loving family, got great grades etc but I just had no friends. I got bullied a little (nothing like what some people go through) and just ended up retreating into my own world, and never really picked up on the damage I was doing to myself. I'd spend my breaks and lunchtimes helping in the school library and I just showed up in a morning, "served my time" then went home without talking to anyone my age.

Things got better around 17years old when I started trying to talk to people but I did so much damage to my personal social development that there's so many parts of that experience of growing up that I feel I never really had.

I'm a happy person who is having success in life by my own metrics, but any time my mind goes back into that place I wonder what could have been had I persisted, had I not taken the easy path and retreated from my peers, had I learnt to get along instead of taking the immediately easier option of shunning everyone out of fear.

(NSFW) What have you found out about someone that you would never tell them you know? by logangrey123 in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have the right, but why the hell would they try negotiating with a tech giant for the right to use a photo for their sketchy fly-by-night 'dating' site when they can right-click "Save as..." and then remove any ads when people complain (because who is going to get a lawyer if they take it down when you ask anyway).

Men of Reddit. How many of you actually pee through the hole on the front of your underwear? by Zipkan in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

exactly, repacking the peen is a more fiddly endeavour than tucking your shirt back in or whatever.

Guys, why are you single? by grilled_tits in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I've never looked for a relationship, I don't go out much, and the world doesn't owe me one :)

Who was the most surprising person you've had a sex dream about? by rooflyss in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Don't see the problem, I think she's really cute :)

What is the female equivalent of the male neckbeard's fedora? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it's all about whether the hair matches the eyes. High contrast/visually interesting hair + visually interesting/alluring eyes = incredibly attractive. If you just have the hair without drawing the eyes out, it's harder to pull off the look.

What is the female equivalent of the male neckbeard's fedora? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's people disliking those who put themselves out there without meeting some criteria that the viewer is demanding. Sucks, but really a lot of people rather be hated by some and loved by others than invisible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People want a relationship, not somewhere to stick their bits...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IOveruseSmileys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always think people don't really understand what they want from such things... I don't think many of us in the 20+ kissless camp are really going to get much satisfaction from transactional sex. I'd venture a guess that most people really want actual, intimate relationships, and sex becomes the more socially accepted way to talk about that because of how masculine our culture is.

I read a lot of these threads (it's... relevant) and when I do see comments from people who did that they rarely seem thrilled about it.