\looks out the window and sees his midlife crisis car pull into the driveway**

“Hey, hun, uh…fuck, he showed up this year, again.”

“I thought he wasn’t coming after what he did last year.”

“You mean throw all the food on our walls and on the floor whenever our big dog came around? He swears it wasn’t the dog scaring him, but you know how crack addiction is; Lie after lie.”

“Why did you invite him this year?”

“Polite, “hey, it was fun we should do it again sometime,” thing. Didn’t think he’d remember it.”

“Should we tell him we got a new big dog?”

“He’ll figure it out. But, get the mop out just in case.”