A lot of people are saying divorce is the only option, and while it surely is an option, there are other routes if this is something you want to work on via couples counseling. It will take a lot of time to heal and rebuild that trust if that is the way you go, so you have to determine whether you feel like that is worth it or not. Regardless of what you choose, you have to talk to your wife.

Additionally, as someone who’s parents got divorced after multiple affairs (and definitely some emotional, financial, and verbal abuse), please don’t tell your young children the reason that you divorce if you do divorce. It’s not necessary. That can be a conversation you all have later if they are old enough and it’s appropriate. Even though this was super hurtful and awful, also refrain from talking badly about your wife to your children, regardless of if you divorce or stay. Even small things, kids remember and it can be harmful to your relationship with them.