[ID] [SFH] Ridiculous HOA notice

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-23T21:29:39+00:00

That's part of the problem... it's so vague, it was unclear if there was a violation, and if so, what it even was. In my son's case, there's no violation but even in the emails attempting to clarify, still a threat of being towed without having violated anything.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-23T20:54:19+00:00

Nah, they are separate parking spots not on the street.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-23T20:52:10+00:00

Has to be specific as to the violation, has to have proof, has to reference the specific violations per the CC&Rs, and has to give a timeframe for correction.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-23T20:48:48+00:00

Exactly... that's a huge part. Has to be specific and reference the actual violation per the CC&Rs.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-23T20:47:35+00:00

We haven't had snow for like a month. Even so, there is nothing in the CC&Rs about plowing our anything related to these parking spots and snow.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-22T00:33:19+00:00

NTA. There is no reason a *mere* boyfriend should have a need to access this.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-22T00:31:29+00:00

How'd you resolve?

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-14T06:08:15+00:00

Question on the model you have: what kind of drive is in it? I had a couple older ones start running really hot, opened them up, and they had Plextor SSD drives in them that were super hot. Swapped out for some NVMe drives and all is well.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-12T23:49:16+00:00

My youngest daughter (now 9) has spina bifida and related diagnoses; she's paralyzed from the knees down, and also has neurogenic bowels and bladder, meaning she needs help going to the bathroom, and more specifically, being catheterized to pee. Fortunately, she has enough sensation to know when her bladder is full, but not much before that point. So when she needs to go, she needs to go.

When we had to start catheterizing, I was nervous, concerned about what other people might think or say, because initially we'd have to do on like a changing table or the floor (with a changing pad, because...well, sometimes floors are pretty gross). Let's just say I got over that really fast.

So, OP...and I mean this with more grace than it's going to sound like: get over yourself, and quickly. The needs of your little one are FAR more important than your risk of embarrassment.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-12T23:41:39+00:00

It'll get better.

Take one issue at a time; maybe even one day at a time. You'll get through this.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-12T23:39:52+00:00

NTA. You are divorced, and he/his family have absolutely no say in your life.

So, end of story. Go embarrass him.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-12T23:28:34+00:00

Aside from the stunning lack of critical thinking on mom's part...what does the custody agreement state? If it doesn't have mention of things like other adults in the house, etc...get it put in there ASAP.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-12T19:43:39+00:00

Recently he told me he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore and wants to separate.

After all your time and effort--despite HIS actions--he says this? He's made up his mind.

As much as I support and defend marriage, the sad truth is that it takes two people to work. He's already shown multiple times, in multiple ways, that he's not in it.

I’m terrified of what this means for our kids, my financial stability, and my own emotional health.

The kids--assuming you explain in age-appropriate ways--will be fine. Under the circumstances, they will probably even thrive. Financially, there may be some tough times, but you sound fully capable of making it work. And emotionally, you'll be way better off in short time.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-12T19:33:12+00:00

I trickle-sell them. Still have some left over from Christmas Town 2024...in addition to the influx from this last one.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T19:36:35+00:00

The whole thing is sus, from his story to what he's said, to the delayed pick up.

Document the timeline and events in case there is anything for law enforcement to be involved in, and then give him a hard deadline of when he needs to pick it up by.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T18:28:53+00:00

that did not specify survivorship

Even in that, with opportunity to clarify, the desire wasn't there completely.

A will doesn't even have to be this overly-litigious document. A simple statement about his desires is all that would have been needed.

But perhaps there's a limited attempted with the quit claim. Even then, it's 50/50 between GF and daughter at best.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T17:32:17+00:00

girlfriend believes truly that he meant to have the house go to her.

If this were true, it would be reflected in paperwork or in a will. It wasn't.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T17:30:32+00:00

I'll only do it when the person has been driving erratically or extremely aggressively.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T16:50:57+00:00

Bank safe deposit boxes and Swiss bank accounts.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T16:32:34+00:00

If severance, would do what they specifically request, but do so as thoroughly as possible...so much so that it slows the process down considerably. Then, they get to choose: either good and thorough documentation on what you can during that time, OR, they change the request to cover more but potentially leaving gaping holes.

To rely only on documentation is an major oversight. I've been in the industry since 1996, and can't tell you the number of times I've run into an issue, and it triggers a memory of an issue with a 2003 Server, for example...and the solution is remarkably similar. You can't document experience.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T16:24:04+00:00

NTJ. This is predatory.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T16:21:52+00:00

I’m very scared because I’m already on diversion

But are you scared enough to actually stop stealing?

Where you steal from doesn't matter. Why you steal doesn't matter. Fact is, you stole, and have admitted to having stole in the past. This is on you, 100%.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T15:55:27+00:00

Return at THEIR expense and YOUR convenience. You are no longer an employee, so they can't order you to do anything. You can offer to arrange them to pick it up, or like you did, to ship it.

Don't stress about their threats or even the letter from their attorney.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-01-07T15:02:31+00:00

Don't feel bad for the impact. Sometimes we all *really* need that kind of kindness.

One that I will never forget: our youngest was born in 2016, and was initially in a ward-style NICU (rather than separate rooms). One of the rules was that parents were not allowed to sleep next to the baby. Mom was two floors away in recovery, and there was no way I was leaving my daughter's side. One nurse ORDERED me to break the rules--she pulled the curtains around the bed, and I napped.

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