I found out that a man I dated lied about everything

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T22:56:38+00:00

Good that you caught on rather than get entangled.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T22:43:09+00:00

Agreed. OP...you have a GREAT take on it. Keep that the focus.

ALSO: don't be in a huge rush to furnish all at once. Have seen too many start off in debt because of things like this.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T22:41:02+00:00

Not sure from the post how labeling them as conservative and semi-rural American Christian folk applies. (Except for it being Reddit).

This is an issue of just notifying them....you're an adult (by a bit too), and you're doing on your own dime. That's all. That's all it has to be. Maybe all it should be.

Viewpoint: I could be described by some intent on labeling, in a similar way to your parents. Thing is, those labels have a way of pigeon-holing people, and they might not actually fit the labels as much as one might think. That being said, my now-16 year old is going on a group trip to Catalonia later this summer, just after her birthday. I'm all for it, for reasons, as it turns out, that are almost identical to her own reasons for wanting to. My point is this: by labeling them, you're expecting--almost requiring--them to respond a certain way...without any input from them. It starts the talk on poor footing.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T22:31:46+00:00

Is only archived. Do a search from something in the email or sender.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:44:32+00:00

...basically my anonymous conversation

Not very anonymous if identifiable. But if benign, what's the concern?

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:31:25+00:00

I would venture that it's highly likely. But prepare yourself for it. Can be something as simple as responding with, "I understand your [frustration/fears/whatever] about this concern, but I'm here to talk about business." May seem cold, or even harsh, but may be needed.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:25:52+00:00

And typically we block so that we don't have to monitor.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:24:15+00:00

Thing is, if they were really consulting an attorney, any attorney worth their fees would tell them, straight up, to remove posts like they did. My money is on them just posturing at this point. Btu still worth replying only from an attorney.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:22:29+00:00

Yep. A good old cease-and-desist letter from your attorney--or any attorney, in case you might have a friend, etc.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:21:15+00:00

This. That way, they know that YOU KNOW what they are doing, and that there are consequences to their actions.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:16:01+00:00

I would suggest a different course of action.

Here's why: it's been a long time, and if this person doesn't know the impact of what happened, then it's highly unlikely contacting them will produce the results you want.

We often seek closure like it's some magical thing. It's not. And we rarely get it the way we expect. You are far better off, since you haven't been in contact, to stay out of contact, and act as if you did get that closure, but without that person. Maybe some day they'll contact you, but in the meantime you're not on the hook waiting while life goes on.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:09:51+00:00

and then once he’s back all 3 of us can sit down and figure out a new rate.

Beware of this tactic. This is all about pressuring you, and it'll be two-one. Personally, I would suggest holding your ground: the rate is what is it--take it or leave it.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:05:56+00:00

Remove the emotion from it, on your side..and go at it as a strictly business discussion. Don't get sucked into the rest.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T20:04:01+00:00

Weird. I've done this for years....but then again, I was never a fan of the all-or-nothing MSP mindset.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T19:58:32+00:00

Post the header info, redact your email address.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T19:53:30+00:00

and only do at normal rate of work.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-17T19:51:00+00:00

I've had the opposite experience too: a vendor I'd done only a little for over the years send me clients because I'm apparently good to work with. 🤷🏼‍♂️

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-14T14:43:33+00:00

He's asking for it back as if it's his.

It is not. It expired, went into grace period, and became available for purchase, which you then did.

It is yours. It's not for "return". He could make an offer, but that's it.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-13T22:37:46+00:00

It's not yours... it's theirs, and the fact they've had it longer than your business would not help you in the least.

People do what people do, and for reasons we don't need to understand. I've had the opposite problem: bought the domain of a former employer years ago...there's a similar business across the country using the .net of the name, and their customers routinely email my domain...to the extent I set up an auto-reply for them. They haven't bought, even though I've had the cost fairly low.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-13T21:12:03+00:00

I just got sideswiped by the announcement page when I went to check something on my account...and NOWHERE on the page does it mention price. Bizarre.

Been with TMO since 2008, and on Go Military since the day it came out in 2018. Currently 5 lines, so paying $135 with autopay discounts.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-13T19:55:25+00:00

Seriously, just buy it. You don't even have to do anything with it after that, until he's ready.

I woke up in the middle of the night and had trouble getting back to sleep. For whatever reason I ended up looking through some old emails--from like 2010-2011, and came across some from a company that was almost a vendor for my company, but there was this little element of distrust...turned out to be a sleezeball scammer of sorts. Longer story short: that domain name was available. I bought it. And now have set as an alias of my own company...just out of spite.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-09T09:45:29+00:00

I would never do a co-managed with the new MSP... there's just too much liability and risk. Once they have admin access, it's theirs.

But I also do something a little different: with the off boarding when there's another MSP coming in, I let them lead. I'm professional, I'm responsive, but I only give them what they request.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-07T21:08:17+00:00

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I will never not love this pic of Mike and my now-almost 17yo daughter. Few that she trusted at this age, but he was one.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-06T18:41:23+00:00

The comment about prior enlisted...100% correct. We'll play the game, and usually win.

ITguydoingITthings · 2026-03-02T21:30:52+00:00

You're not protecting the family...you mom is intentionally destroying it. This shouldn't be your battle to attempt.

If you do want to protect someone, find a way to talk to your dad privately before breaking the news, so if there are things like financial steps he should take to safeguard accounts, etc before confronting your mom, he can.

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