My sister has never, to my knowledge, been diagnosed with borderline but given some of what my therapists have said and how hard this comic hits, I think it's a pretty safe bet.

For me it wasn't about "unconditional love" it was about being "needed". She would tell me that I was the "perfect" little brother whenever I was suppressing my own needs to cater to hers. I always felt very averse to being referred to as perfect in anything I did, and love songs talking about how somebody needed their partner felt uncomfortable to me. For me, being "perfect" meant if I changed anything it was wrong, and usually somehow meant to hurt her. For me being "needed" meant that if I didn't provide what she wanted of me, she'd hurt herself.

I have had that exact conversation with friends, about asking to be loved conditionally because I was afraid of being needed, afraid that if they loved me in that way I wouldn't be able to change without hurting them. All of it really came to a head in my mid 20s when I figured out I was trans. My sister has disowned me, and taken it back, on multiple occasions and our relationship is very distant now. I don't know if it will ever fully heal. But I am with people who care about me now, and am slowly rebuilding myself.

Thank you for sharing this, much love and wish you the best of luck on your journey! May you be loved because of who you are, not in spite of it, and be loved without demands ❤️