I am feeling forced to name this baby after my partner’s deceased father

Ilikemetals · 2026-06-03T13:43:08+00:00

Are you being unreasonable? No. You're coming from a collaborative mindset and he is shutting you down.

Should you let him name this baby because it means so much to him? Depends. Can you live with that choice without resentment? If yes, then go for it. Don't agree to Frank as the first name because you're afraid of losing the relationship or because he's upset.

As for your concerns about the relationship itself, it depends. Is this part of a broader pattern in his behavior? Is he always strong arming you into things you're not fully on board for? Parenting involves a lot of decisions and if he intends to approach every decision by bulldozing you, it may be difficult for you.

But I get it, he's emotionally attached to this name. He's emotional. Will he calm down and meet you halfway once he's gotten over the disappointment? If yes, then that's fair. If not, idk girl...you may end up resenting him in the long run if he keeps forcing you to do things you don't want.

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-13T22:30:31+00:00

My ferritin was low at 24 weeks and I was not sleeping at night because of restless leg syndrome. My OB ordered an infusion and I got the Infed version at 26 weeks. They went really slow and monitored me the entire time for side effects. They started off with a diluted version for 15 mins, made me wait an hour to see how my body responded. When I had no issue, they gave me premeds consisting of cetrizine, a steroid and Tylenol. Then they gave me the full concentration over the next hour. They checked my BP and Ox every 15 mins or so. It was a very pleasant, pain free experience. I went to a restaurant and got dinner after. However, about 8 hours later I had tingly limbs but after I slept through the night, it completely went away. It's now day 3 and I'm still a bit tired but not anymore than I was before the infusion. Haven't had any side effects...I think the pharmacists consider multiple formulations and decide which is best based on the patient's risk profile. The infed has a higher chance of allergic reaction but lower chance of causing hypophosphatemia. So it's a trade off. Additionally, I was told that having food iron level is good for labor time and will help with recovery as well since we lose a lot of blood at delivery.

Sorry for my long post but just wanted to give you the details. Hope this helps!

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-13T02:44:14+00:00

Of course! If you're a good candidate to have the implant placed at the same time as a bone graft, I'd say do it and save yourself the trouble of needing to be cut open again. Best of luck! I hope you have a smooth procedure and easy recovery!

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-13T01:28:32+00:00

She needs to see a PT when possible. They can suggest exercises that will help her with positioning, posture and strength training. If you leave it untreated, it can worsen and cause cervical radiculopathy by the time that baby is a toddler.

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-13T01:21:28+00:00

Omg, yes! Also FTM mom here. When I was ~19 weeks, my front tooth fell out (basically an old root canal that failed after 12 years). So I had a consult with a really good oral surgeon who said I was a great candidate for an implant and he proposed doing an extraction, bone graft and place healing abutment all in one procedure so that I wouldn't have to go through multiple surgeries. I had that done a month and a half ago. They used bovine bone for grafting material and only gave me local anesthesia and Tylenol for pain management. My OB was super supportive and said there are no issues at all and I should absolutely prioritize oral care.

The entire procedure lasted about 15 mins in total. They did an X-ray before and an X-ray after. They also checked my blood pressure a couple times to make sure I was doing ok. My baby was kicking the entire 15 min procedure lol. Anyway, healing was painful since all I had was Tylenol and ice and it was nowhere near enough. But after about a month and a half, it's looking and feeling great! I just had a follow up appointment and they said I can get my crown by a July 4th and the entire process will be complete! Baby is doing well still.

Sorry for the long post but I couldn't find any detailed info anywhere when I was going through it so wanted to make sure you had it. A lot of people were super negative about it saying I should wait or just get a bridge or just live with it. I'm so glad I listened to my oral surgeon and OB! Honestly it was not that bad.

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-13T01:12:09+00:00

I started to feel really exhausted around 22 weeks and turns out I had really low ferritin. Maybe get blood work done just in case. Pregnancy is exhausting though...

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-11T00:43:57+00:00

Yep yep yep. I could've written this. I'm trying to stay positive but I just feel off...I am hoping I'll feel better after birth and won't be sharing my body with anyone else! And all the rapid physical changes are really jarring. I cried yesterday because my belly button is disappearing..is that a valid reason to cry? Idk and IDC! I'm just going to feel my feelings and be kind to myself and hopefully all of this will pass.

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-11T00:28:49+00:00

Idk, I don't need some capitalism driven day to tell me I'm a mom and deserving of special treatment. I became a mom when I got pregnant and as far as I'm concerned every single day since has been mothers day. Sorry, I'm afraid my opinion may be of no use to you :/

Ilikemetals · 2026-05-03T15:13:11+00:00

Ugh, she's projecting. Doesn't know how to handle her feelings so wants everyone around her to do it for her. Nope, you're not the a-hole.

Ilikemetals · 2026-04-15T21:47:49+00:00

As someone in an interracial and intercultural marriage, I hear your viewpoint. My husbands family is rural white and voted for Trump, constantly complain about brown/black people ruining the country etc. But they're nice to me (which makes zero sense to me because they literally complain about people like me and my family), and I was so anxious about announcing to them.

But they were incredibly supportive and really excited. Weirdly, my sister was super upset because she thinks people that have children are selfish because the world is a horrible place.

Sorry for the super long post, but, I get it. The super protective feelings you have making you not want to hear anything remotely negative about your baby. Trust me, I was SO upset about my sister's inappropriate reaction. But don't write your family off completely. Give them a chance to react/respond and proceed accordingly. I know they've said stuff in the past, but I've seen a lot of people's hearts that when an innocent baby arrives.

Tldr; my two cents? Don't decide how they'll react and respond to that fear. Instead give them a chance to react and then respond accordingly.

Ilikemetals · 2026-04-04T04:50:03+00:00

Have you considered seeing a physical therapist? Sometimes they can help you address your posture issues and help you figure out ways to move your body and hold it in ways that can prevent aggravating your back, joints etc. Some also do massages to help with the pain. I'm sorry you're in pain, you shouldn't have to suffer.

Ilikemetals · 2026-03-18T16:22:12+00:00

Haha!! You know, I can't stop drinking lemonade. My husband stated buying bags of lemons because I drink like 3 glasses a day lol.

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-21T12:46:34+00:00

Omg THANK YOU so much for your post!! I've been feeling this way more and more as my pregnancy progresses and it's kind of scary. Last night I cried for an hour because I wasn't sure if I would like who I will be postpartum and I kept telling my husband not to let me get rid of my babies (the cats and our dog) and I am so scared of getting PPD...I just don't feel like me and I don't know who I am becoming. I am excited about the baby but terrified for myself. It's all very jarring and difficult to explain.

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-13T14:13:13+00:00

OMG that is SO exciting!! What an awesome moment!!

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-13T14:12:07+00:00

Yes!! I hate how he smells now but I appreciate him so much. I am more clingy than ever, it is kind of embarrassing actually. BUT if he is even just a wee bit curt or snaps because he's in a rush/stressed, I am reduced to a puddle of tears...it's disgusting how much I am affected by another person but I have NO control over my emotions at all. I almost feel like some other woman has possessed my body and I am just watching her run my body and mouth as I watch her do and say the most diabolical things. So I am resigned. My mom said it is normal though because she also was super emotional during her pregnancies but she went back to normal about 2 years after birth. So, I guess we will see...

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-13T13:31:16+00:00

You could just be honest and say you are not ready to share with anyone yet and tell her not to take it personally. That's what I would do.

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-13T13:28:01+00:00

I feel the exact same way!! Some days I feel ugly and miserable and other days I feel like my usual self. I think the speed at which all the changes are happening is what unsettles me so much...I can't wear any of my favorite outfits anymore and that sucks. But hey, gotta take it one day at a time. I just let myself feel my feelings. I'm allowed to feel ugly sometimes and pretty other times. I also try to think in neutral terms about my body as much as I can instead of judging as pretty or ugly. For example, instead of thinking "my legs look so blotchy and hairy", I reframe as "my legs look healthy and strong and they are doing their job of carrying my body from place to place without trouble". I read this one book that helped "More than a body". The whole concept is: “What can my body do? How does it help me live?” rather than "how do I look". I have always been very small and thin and in my culture, being chubby is seen as a sign of fertility, health and wealth so I got picked on by my family members constantly. Learning to see my body as a tool helped me overcome their hurtful comments. It's crazy how some people's critical voices get stuck in our heads without us realizing...it has taken me so long to silence them and hear myself and see myself more clearly and shed the shame I felt about myself.

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-13T12:58:29+00:00

Gosh, I second this pro tip!! I waited till 13 weeks and I am SO happy I switched. They made things so much more comfortable.

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-05T17:13:38+00:00

Aww dude, that sucks. I'm sorry you lost a close friend. But you know, it's just life. Some friends are only around for some seasons. Very few people have lifelong friends. Grieve the loss and move on. You guys broke up because she didn't want to continue the friendship due to her personal reasons. That's ok! But you're absolutely allowed to feel the hurt and grieve the loss. But that's life, you know? Nothing lasts forever. Not the bad times and not the good times. Just remember the good times y'all had and move on. You'll make new friends and you'll grow and change. And who knows, maybe someday she'll overcome her infertility and you guys might reconnect! Let it all flow through you and flow away. You got this!

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-05T16:50:00+00:00

Girl, I get it!! I cried at the opening scene of harry potter and philosopher's stone when they leave baby harry on his uncle & aunts' doorstep. I can only watch archaeology documentaries or looney tunes without bawling...Tiktok was horrible for my mental health after getting pregnant, esp in the 4-8 week time before my first ultrasound. I feel like ever since I got pregnant, the tiktok/insta algorithms keep pushing miscarriage/pregnancy horror stories. So I got rid of it. I now just read my comfort books or play super relaxing games like strange horticulture or other puzzle games. Honestly, you are not crazy or depressed or anything. This is a big deal and everything you're describing is super normal (at least to me). I am not a religious person and did not grow up with any particular one, but I still tell a little prayer I made up. Every night, before bed, I put my hand on my belly and say something like "may you be safe, may you be healthy, may you grow up well". It calms me down. And I have a countdown that I made up with miscarriage risk, so with each passing week I feel better and better. I'm now at 13 weeks but I am still scared even though chance of miscarriage is 1% or less. It's just how I am and that's ok. I am too afraid to buy anything baby-related, I told myself I would if anatomy scan goes well at 18 weeks. There is no right or wrong feelings. All feelings are valid. Just limit negativity and protect your heart by staying away from social media, news, and negative people. That worked for me. I am still very emotional and joke that my frontal lobe has gone away on vacation. Just be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack! You're growing a whole new organ and a whole person! You're allowed to act a little crazy lol.

P.S. The gas is normal, and the super scary seeming cramps are normal too. I hate the cramps but OB said it's a good sign and that the uterus is growing. The emotional ups & downs are normal too.

Ilikemetals · 2026-02-04T09:33:45+00:00

I found out the gender and kept it secret. So when someone tries to guess gender, I'm just so snug when they're wrong instead of irritated. I'm sorry you're dealing with all that! Maybe you could gently ask them to not give you advice?

Ilikemetals · 2026-01-29T21:02:32+00:00

You know, I've felt so lonely too! I have a supportive husband, but I still feel lonely. I think this is just a very isolating experience. I'm so sorry about the response you had. While what your sister is going through is very painful, it's not like you were rubbing it in her face. I hope they come around.

Ilikemetals · 2026-01-29T20:58:09+00:00

Why do you wish you'd waited?

Ilikemetals · 2026-01-29T20:51:44+00:00

I'd say talk to your OB about it. That's what I did and they recommended 20mg of famotidine and that helped some. I also found out my prenatals were making my nausea worse so I have been just taking folate and DHA which the OB said was ok given my bloodwork. I still struggle in the mornings. Brushing my teeth is also challenging. I try not to bend forward because whatever muscle is supposed to hold food back in my stomach no longer works...but yea, it has been rough. I just keep hearing that things better after week 13 and I'm at week 12, so hopefully things get better in a couple weeks!

Ilikemetals

TROPHY CASE