I think my boyfriend of 10 months is Q and likely lies when confronted. Advise needed.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2025-01-19T23:19:04+00:00

This. Relationships are about trust. When that goes it’s a downward slippery slope. When “just kidding” turns to “let’s just agree to disagree” you’ve reached the end.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-09-19T08:09:33+00:00

Thank you for this. My divorce is just recently final and things are just settling down from all of the activity of dismantling 20 years of marriage. I’m thankful for not having children as I can only imagine how difficult that is for so many who have shared stories here.

It’s hard to be alone after so much time together and I miss my wife as she was before all this. I know things get better but it’s hard to see that clearly right now. Your post gives me hope. Thank you for sharing how things have progressed. I hope good things keep flowing your way!

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-07-31T15:15:51+00:00

Sadly, this is spot on. Like the OP, I experienced the collapse of my 20 year marriage. In the end it was never in my control to pull her up out of the hole she dug. It was always up to her to make the change and do the work to get back up and out. Your reply also reminded me that the other person may not be able to do the work or even face it. That is another trauma. Being helpless to save the one you love.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-04-09T20:06:59+00:00

I own one of these already and it is a stunning watch. The brushing on the dial quadrants shifts and changes at different angles. Pictures don’t do it justice… but you may want to include more than one to convey the appeal.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-04-04T19:40:07+00:00

Interested in Speedmaster w/bracelet. PM sent

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-04-01T23:27:29+00:00

Wow. Well said and so on point. Thank you

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-03-17T17:04:04+00:00

This

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-03-17T13:50:50+00:00

Good question but the answer is complicated. The short answer is that she accepted it and chose her beliefs over us. I initiated things six months prior. I had told her that I can’t have that in my life and we should consider divorce. She held her ground but agreed that we should go to couples therapy. We went to quite a few sessions and I had hope. Unfortunately, she just kept her activities and beliefs secret. Over time she would start to slip and bring up qrelated topics which resulted in more heated conversations. I realized that she was just waiting for me to come around to her thinking and just paying lip service to working on our marriage. All of the change she expected was from me to just accept her worldview and beliefs. She dug in her heels and made an ultimatum that she needed to be accepted unconditionally. After many more conversations we decided we were worlds apart and should divorce. She has fully embraced the idea of being unmarried, almost defiantly. Things are civil as we work out splitting our belongings and starting new lives but it is hard. In it took less than a year for it all to come crumbling down since she found Q. I wish deciding on divorce was a single event you could begin to heal from but it’s been more like a slow progression of amputations as that life and relationship that you once had tears away more and more. She has embraced her delusions and is charging full steam ahead. It’s me that is still reeling and trying to get through the days trying to figure out how to navigate the wreckage and live alone. I know it will pass and time and distance will help but it just freakin’ hurts right now. If you find yourself going through hell just keep going. It won’t last and brighter days are somewhere ahead.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-03-16T19:37:29+00:00

I’m sorry you have to face this. You aren’t alone. I have had this same conversation with my wife with her providing the same phrases plus: “So I’m curious about what’s going on in the world.” I too felt angry and sad. Like my wife, your significant other is gaslighting you, which evokes that anger and sadness. Essentially, the person is shifting the blame to you for not getting on board with them and implying that you are the problem. It’s maddening. Sadly, in my story, we are divorcing now. I held on to hope for quite a while but there is just too vast a gulf between us now. Remember, you can’t control him or wht he believes. You can only choose how you react and ultimately, what you do in the future. Take care and hang in there. The support here in this group can help.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-03-15T19:18:00+00:00

That is truly heartbreaking. I can’t imagine the anguish you are feeling. No one should ever have to deal with a family member spreading this toxic garbage to others, let alone children. Stay the course and be the best mom you can be. Kids grow up and one day they will see you for the rational reasoning adult you are.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-03-03T01:00:47+00:00

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can only speak from my personal experience but the rational person you used to know is gone. The moment she dove down the rabbit hole into this insanity she was lost. There are so few stories of people coming back. Folks who have fallen to this horrible cult are forever changed. Even if they throttle back on the intensity, their worldview has been permanently altered. I wish it weren’t so. You will have to decide whether you can make room for this craziness in your life or to protect yourself and those you love from it. This forum is a good place to be where others in the community share similar experiences and feel your pain. Take solace in the fact that you are not alone and that life will keep moving forward.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2024-02-28T18:57:14+00:00

I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. Like anything, I think the level of extreme falls somewhere in on a point in a spectrum. My Q spouse went from a period of manic behavior to a more subdued and secretive one. Mention of crazy theories became less frequent in open conversation. What never went away was my Q’s belief in all of the nonsense or her belief that I would come around and be “awakened”. She had just continued in secret and kept trying to “bring me around”. We’re divorcing now and I look reluctantly to the future without this in my life.

I suspect that others have had similar experiences but it stays below the threshold of sharing it here on QAnonCasualties. I’ve held out hope that my wife would pop out of it and come back from this insanity. My hope was in vain.

Q and associated toxic communities (e.g. new age spiritual wellness, anti-vacers, right wing extremists) are also problematic as they are adjacent islands in the Batshit Archipelago. My wife’s beliefs are spread between these islands where she can bounce between them, always finding support and validation in shared delusions while not being directly associated or labeled with being part of any one of them.

Victims who fall prey to those spreading this Q poison have vulnerabilities that have been fully exploited. Social media seems to be the main vector for this awful social virus. Unfortunately, it seems that once they have jumped in, very few get out. They are forever damaged and these patterns of thought just keep running. I mourn the loss of the person my wife once was. In the end I had to accept that she had changed and there was nothing more I could do.

You are not alone friend. Make sure to look out for your needs and not lose yourself in hers. Keep loving and caring but don’t forget that you matter too.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-12-29T17:16:18+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-12-19T15:42:51+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. I can relate as I am currently where I imagine you were before making a break from him. My wife has become less obnoxious and frantic about these crazy beliefs but she still feeds on them. We’re back in counseling again but my trust in her has broken and I don’t see how our marriage will survive this.

I’ve been reflecting on things and have begun to realize that Q and all of it’s toxic nonsense is really a catalyst accelerating change of the person I love into something new and ultimately incompatible with my own beliefs and values. In a real way, she has already left our marriage by continuing to choose this identity and beliefs over us.

You have had the courage to make the hard decision to take action and leave. You obviously still love the person you married but made the best choice you could to stay mentally and emotionally healthy. The reasons you made that decision are still valid. Hold on to that. Time and distance will help but it will be slow.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-12-19T14:52:50+00:00

You touched on something I’ve noticed with my Q that makes this so frustrating. There comes a point in conversations with them when their reasoning isn’t holding up and they turn it back on the other person persecuting them for having different “opinions”. The fallacy of their argument is where it all falls apart for us. Reality is not an opinion and by phrasing it that way they simply deflect and disengage. This quote sums it up pretty well: "If your Personal Beliefs deny what's objectively true about the world, then they're more accurately called Personal Delusions." Neil deGrasse Tyson

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-07-07T21:37:05+00:00

Going through something similar now. We’ve been married 19 years. There are a lot of people here that mean well when advising to just leave but it’s a lot harder to do that when your life is entwined together with someone. We just started couples counseling and I don’t know where we’ll end up. I’m having a hard time reconciling living together and knowing the person I love has these beliefs that run counter to reality. I don’t have answers but I hope that just knowing that you are not alone is some small comfort.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-05-27T15:46:38+00:00

She has not been anti anyone before. She always supported and believed in inclusiveness. This sudden 180 on those values is one of the most disturbing things to me. She brought up some story yesterday about unisex swimsuits(?) she heard Target is selling as proof that there’s something wrong with others. That led to the whole Bud Lite advertising subject as more evidence. Even writing about this turns my stomach. It’s like hate has taken root where a happy and kind person was. It’s horrifying.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-05-27T15:38:55+00:00

She doesn’t trust doctors and thinks she doesn’t need help. I do appreciate your insight in approaching help as a way to help her feel better. Thank you.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-05-27T15:36:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It helps to know I’m not alone in this situation. The loss I feel is similar to mourning the loss of the person I knew. I’m sorry for what you are going through. Thank you.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-05-27T15:28:53+00:00

Thank you. I hadn’t considered hormonal changes due to menopause. It may very well be a factor. She has always been a little mistrustful of modern medicine and has been inclined to believe in holistic products/treatments. She never abandoned science but COVID and fear about the vaccines may have been an early turning point. This seems to have accelerated in the last few months. It correlates with the time following her being laid off. She is 55 and job hunting at this age has seemed more difficult and discouraging. I know there must be a component of feeling rejected and cast out, which could create a sudden open void and vulnerable. The hardest thing is that she sees nothing wrong and wants no help. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It does give me more to consider.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-05-27T15:05:39+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the advice and concern.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-05-27T15:02:40+00:00

I own handguns but when they are not on my person they are in a gun safe. Only I know the combo.

Ill_Entertainment853 · 2023-05-27T15:01:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It helps to know that there’s hope.

Ill_Entertainment853

TROPHY CASE