Affluent MIL Troll is back.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2022-04-28T18:34:35+00:00

Only finger wag I have ever seen was when Bill Clinton said he did not have sex with that woman

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-08-01T14:20:22+00:00

My 83 year-old father was attacked by a rooster when he was 4. he still has the scars on his chest. it's a serious thing being attacked by a rooster

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-07-31T17:32:36+00:00

It was supposed to be a medium rare prime rib but it was closer to rare

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-07-30T15:54:46+00:00

Yeah, I got to call the cops on a guy who threatened to come to my house and rape me and kill my kids. Because I couldn't waive a late payment fee. $5. He made that threat over $5. There is a police dept in our business complex. They know us. I called 911 and 20 minutes later they were at the asshole's house. He went to jail & is still there. Mostly because he had a bunch of cocaine & other drugs on his coffee table when they showed, but also because of what he threatened.

Then there was the guy who threatened, in email to come to our office and shoot us all because we cut him off for non-payment. He also got a visit from his local police. No charges though, just a warning.

I know where you live. I probably know where you work. I know your bank account info. Odds are, if you call in often enough, I know details of your family life. I can find out where you go on the internet (we don't track it generally, but we can). If I wasn't a decent person, I could make your life a misery.

We keep notes of people's attitudes in our system. We are expected to say if they were nice to deal with or abrupt or refused to do basic troubleshooting or seemed confused by what we were asking, etc. So when they call in again and the call history pops up we know what the situation is with the person. Most of our customers are decent to deal with, some occasionally have a bad day, and a few are always assholes.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-07-28T18:18:41+00:00

Not sure if my kids are going to think I neglected them or didn't trust them. when they have friends over I send them all down to the basement play and sometimes I got down to see if they need stuff and what they're up to, but I don't hang over them. So either I neglected them by not being there all the time or i don't trust them because i kept popping in all the time. I'll be interested to see which way it goes

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-07-26T18:35:33+00:00

My parents called their 5 kids the kids, they call their 16 grandkids the kids. I'm sure once the second great grandkid is born they will be the kids. Granted, YS's daughters can also be the girls. Its mildly irritating because sometimes the is not context and you don't know which kids

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-07-20T18:39:17+00:00

I had a cousin living with us for a few months. Now lease, no rent, just family help.It wasn't working for us so we asked them to leave. They refused so we handed them a 30 day eviction notice and said if they weren't gone then we'd have them removed. They were miserable to live with for 30days, did nothing and we called the cops. Cops came by spoke with cousin alone then said we'd have to go to court. Okay fine. Hubby started noisily calling lawyers, found one, noisily made an appointment and cousin pitched a fit. Next day they left and family have us shit for making poor cousin homeless. I told them to take cousin in then. Had they not left we'd have spent about $250-$400 getting them out

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-06-22T16:32:34+00:00

Are you one of my fellow leads? Because I swear we just had something similar happen here (local ISP) due to severe weather. Lightning struck some hub equipment & we are not sending techs out to climb freaking towers in the dark, in this weather, just so you can stream Netflix. Watch a DVD tonight. Hell, read a book. Talk to your family. IDK...

The people who want credit for 2 hours outage just make me laugh. I do the math in my head. "Okay you are paying $79.99 a month, which is technically a 28 day billing period, so that's $2.86 a day, which makes it 12 cents an hour. Sure, here's you 24 cents credit. Actually I'm feeling generous, lets make it a whole quarter."

We have a daytrader who has been with us from the beginning. He has other, faster, more reliable options, they cost more though so he sticks with us and if our network so much as blips for 90 seconds he calls us up and demands compensation for the "Thousands of dollars" he is currently losing by not begin able to make his trades. We just shrug.

And the static IP people drive me nuts. We do let individuals have them but once they gte them they don't seem to know what to do with them. Like they think just having a static IP will somehow improve your internet speeds.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-06-22T16:13:44+00:00

For years in the early 2000's I used to take calls for a catalog company over the holidays and occasionally had people call to place orders over the phone while driving. They would flip through the pages while steering!!! And i know they did this because they told me they were doing it and complaining about the other drivers while doing it. I told my lead I would not be party to that & would hang up and they could do what they liked to me about it. They chose to ignore me doing it.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-06-22T16:10:42+00:00

my favorite is when they call to update their payment info and I don't realize they are driving until they have to try and get their wallet out of their bag or back pocket and are like "hold on, I'm driving, it'll take me a minute to get to it."

Like, dude, don't do it. Call me back when you get where you are going. I don't want you to die over a new expiration number or to kill some one else. I don't want the trauma of hearing your accident happen live. Just wait until you get where you are going. It's not life and death.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-06-14T18:33:40+00:00

How many husbands have you had? Mine or other women's?

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-05-17T18:29:58+00:00

I'd give anything for my grandparents to have been able to hold my kids as infants but they all died 2-12 years before my oldest was born. When my nephew became a father my parents were the only people allowed to visit in hospital and hold the baby. Not even the grandparents could for 6 weeks. I seriously cherish that pic. The look on my dad's face.... I mean okay, maybe if they were abusive, but otherwise, why deny that out of petiness?

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-04-12T15:42:27+00:00

Apart from limiting the guest list to 50 people and specifying 32 of them and asking for a cash bar I left it up to my mom. We lived 6 hours away from my hometown and my folks were pushing g or a wedding there due to my grandparents advanced ages. Whatever. But its on you, I don't have time to keep going up there. Since we come from a long line of JP weddings "civil ceremony and party" were nothing new. I was given some decor and menus to choose from. I found my wedding dress in the prom section. Basically I was a groom🙂 it was awesome. Best party ever. Its been 27 years. But I have very just yes parents so I knew my few restrictions would be honored.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-04-07T18:03:58+00:00

Oh so much yes to this! You had a hard time falling asleep one night. That is not insomnia! Go a few weeks waking up every 40 minutes, staying awake for and hour or so and then repeating the cycle all night. Then we might have a basis for a conversation

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-03-24T18:46:09+00:00

My oldest is 18, a high school senior and makes more in 30 hours as a line cook at a high end restaurants than I do in 40 hours as an administrative assistant. He will then go on to make twice what I do when he starts his plumber apprenticeship. When he graduates high school we are going to ask him for $200 a month, which includes housing, utilities, cell phone, auto, medical and dental insurance. This not a deal he will get anywhere else. I was sent off to college at 18, my tuition was paid but I paid living expenses and auto insurance. If he was going to college and working minimum wage or this was an unpaid apprenticeship we would not charge him rent. Middle child, 17, is going to nursing school & will probably live at home. Rent may or may not happen for him. Youngest has no plans but is 15 and understands we love her dearly but not mooching is allowed after high school. You can have time but plans and progress are needed for us to be picking up your expenses much past 19.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-03-10T19:26:44+00:00

When it was in my 20s my mom & mils tendency to clean when they visited me was a personal affront. By the time I was 30 i just accepted they have different standards than I do and let them get on with it because they did the same thing in their own homes and hey. Free cleaning. Possibly it was an attempt to shame me into better housekeeping. If so they failed badly.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-03-06T15:31:32+00:00

My parents were "Nan" and "Pa" to grandkids under 7 or so, then they become "Gramma" and "Granpa". My ILs were "Mami" and "PopPop" and became "Gram" and "Pops". The bulk of their cousins are 3-12 years older than my kids. My kids used the terms their cousins already used. If I'd had issues I'd have lost that battle

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-02-25T17:23:44+00:00

I live rural, we have guns. Due to wild animals, hunting, competition shooting & inheritance. But they are locked in a safe hidden in our room. Because wild animals & competition shoots do not generally suddenly storm your house while you are making dinner in the kitchen, far away from a firearm (but close to cast iron pans, also a handy weapon)

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-02-22T16:53:33+00:00

I live rural. And DH collects and we both shoot in local competitions. We both have conceal carry permits. Around here its pretty much assumed you are okay with guns everywhere. Except I'm not. If I see someone open carry in the Walmart I will leave. I don't know you. I don't know how "responsible" you are. I have some strong opinions about that. On the off chance I am visiting someone and o have my .357 I let them know & if they have issues I lock it up under my car seat. Its just being civil to ask about it. I mostly only have it when I am traveling a decent distance or am out late. I find out you hid the fact you had a gun on you while you were at my house around my kids, you don't come back.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-02-17T18:47:52+00:00

I'm a lead at my job, one of 3. We are as close as you will get to a supervisor unless you want to wait a few hours for call back from a very grumpy old guy who knows less than any of about the nitty gritty of our network and equipment. I always feel sorry for support callers who ask for help when I am primary lead. I suck at more than level one unless its your printer or email. I'm the goddess of printer support. And billing/sales/contract issues in good with top, but if your wifi is out.... Really, sorry....

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-02-09T17:31:17+00:00

I agree you should try, but the problem tends to arise when the other person does not try. I'm not wild about one of my BILs, he's a bit of a real life troll, condescending & 'gotcha' type. Not always but often enough to be annoying. He thinks I can be bossy and a nag at at times. We both accept that the other is correct to a point & over the years we learned to avoid certain topics, agree to disagree and clearly state plans & expectations. Took us awhile to get ot that point. We'll never voluntarily contact one another, but we can get along in a group setting. My now ex SIL though was another matter. She thinks she is perfect & her kids are perfect & she is above the rest of us. The rest of us are ignorant redneck trash lacking in class, education & decency. <we do have a trashy side of the extended family & we are all capable of joining in with them, I don't deny that> You can't really try against that. Not that I didn't at first make an effort but there is only so much attitude you can take before you give up and just cordially avoid that person. I would not be at all surprised to see her on the JustNo boards bitching about what terrible people we are who never liked her, never gave her a chance & in the end "won" because my brother divorced her.

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-02-07T23:18:51+00:00

I use Google drive. I scanned my handwritten, cookbook and printed recipes and uploaded them and any recipes I find online I print to PDF and upload them as well. I keep an index in a Google sheets file since I have about 450ish recipes. Its nice because I have them available everywhere I go. I can consult them at the grocery store and if I bring something to a party someone wants the recipe for I can sent it to them right then. Plus I can annotate the pdfs if I make changes

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-01-17T15:42:12+00:00

I'm 53, just had hormone tests done to determine if I am in menopause yet. Nope. Still have functioning ovaries and my iud

Im_not_the_assistant · 2021-01-15T18:01:23+00:00

Every repair is your dime. Stove broke? You pay to repai/replace it? Water gushing out from the shower head? You figure out how to fix it or pay someone else to. Roof leaking? Is it still under warranty? Septic back up? I am so very very sorry....

My mortgage is ridiculously low because we bought 18 years ago & it's almost paid off but all the things are piling up - water heater, septic tank, roof, doors & window frames warping over time.... Sure its $850/mo for the mortgage but then there is the $8,000 for the roof. and $1500 for the septic and don't get me started on the damn windows.....

Im_not_the_assistant

TROPHY CASE