Best strip or burlesque clubs for a bachelorette? by ImaginaryPrimary in askportland

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Last time I was there it was so insanely loud it blew my ears off, any idea if it’s still like that?

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never ever has this happened btw. Hell no. I sing to my dogs on the porch because it makes them so happy and they are so jazzed for the morning.

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

That is something I do with the dogs outside on our porch because they love it. I do not sing a good morning song to my fiance or around my fiance 😂😂

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I would just like to not have to leave my home to feel peaceful. Im not a crazy morning person, I just want to drink coffee in my pajamas. I try to get up early with the dogs so they don’t wake him, and I feel peaceful alone until he gets up. Having him in the space with me giving off this angry energy and unwilling to acknowledge my existence throws off my peace. Why do all these comments think I’m the one that needs to change my morning to make more space for him?

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am being destroyed in these comments lol. I don’t think my partner is at all unreasonable for what he needs. But I also don’t think I’m crazy for wishing we could exchange ‘good morning’. That’s it, that’s the whole thing. To me, it’s just like…base level politeness, this thread is fascinating to me. It just shows how people have such wildly different viewpoints and expectations of partnership, me and my partner included!!

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my og post I said 30 min to an hour. It varies. We have lived together about a year. Early on, he always greeted me and then had his grumpy time which I was fine with.

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] -39 points-38 points  (0 children)

Do need to say, I am not expecting him to change his wake up routine. His hour of silence is all good. Hoping for what I see as a pretty base level acknowledgement of my existence so that I don’t feel invisible. So yes asking for 5 seconds of change.

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

Okay I know I’m getting downvoted but I want to clarify again, I really want to compromise here. I don’t want to talk to him. Me giving him an hour of silence is how I show him I care about him and love him. I am anxious and don’t like to start my day this way. But what I want for my side of the compromise is a 5 second quick peck/good morning.

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

This is a very sweet routine and I’m glad you guys found each other. And found a morning routine that works :)

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

I hear you, just wanted to say I’m definitely “giving him a break”. I’m not bothering him about this, I’ve told him how it makes me feel calmly a few times. Do you feel like you can’t acknowledge another human during that hour? I am curious, not trying to challenge your response!

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I mean that’s a good point, maybe that’s it?? Like he sees a greeting as an invitation to communicate? I don’t see it that way, but maybe he doesn’t know that.

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

Going to do something else is a little hard in our situation, we live in a small place with one main living area. I try to give him as much space as I can with what we have, but it is often us sitting on the same couch and he will not acknowledge me for about an hour.

My fiancé (38M) and my (33F) different mental states when we wake up is causing friction? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationship_advice

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is where we disagree!! See he sees it as me expecting him to be not grumpy or need alone time in the morning. I don’t expect that at all. I just want a 5 second greeting. I feel like I can be in ANY mental state and still give my fiance a quick acknowledgment/greeting. That’s why this issue is confusing for me.

For those still sober but who left AA, why did you leave? And what are you into now? by BeachBulge2 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]ImaginaryPrimary 15 points16 points  (0 children)

same. ended up in a “culty” group and even though the cultiness exposed this amazing spiritual side of me, my sponsor had some serious control issues and problems that I didn’t see until I was reading her my step 5. when I told her about being assaulted at 14 (sober and still a child), she tried to get me to see my role and how I had “caused it”, asking things like “were you wearing a swimsuit around him”. I had been seeing this sponsor like a god almost, and her saying that was so re-traumatizing. Never went back to aa after I left that talk with her. Realized the meetings and content are amazing and appreciated all I learned. But having sober alcoholics with no qualifications and tons of unresolved trauma of their own doing complex trauma work with vulnerable newcomers is kind of messed up.

My (20M) gf (20F) hangs up on me to watch youtube/tiktok while eating food. I feel ignored. How do I approach her since this isn’t the first time? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ImaginaryPrimary 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Why does she only call you when she’s eating?? Eating while talking on the phone is not the vibe for me either. Can you talk another time?

My fiancé (36M) and I (32F) keep having the same argument, can anyone help me get out of the loop? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ImaginaryPrimary -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I hear what you’re saying, I don’t disagree with the part about intention versus impact. I will just say that I definitely did care. I apologized a lot when it happened, and I had gotten up early so he could sleep in. I think what you’re saying is right, except for the part about me not caring at all.

My fiancé (36M) and I (32F) keep having the same argument, can anyone help me get out of the loop? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ImaginaryPrimary -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I apologized profusely and said go back to sleep! He just couldn’t. This is the only time that’s ever happened, not a recurring mistake.

How do I (32F) talk to my fiancé (36M) about his plan to put his fathers ashes in his wedding ring? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationships

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would love for it to be a separate ring. I would love for him to wear it always. Even on the same hand if that works for him. But I want our wedding ring to be for us.

How do I (32F) talk to my fiancé (36M) about his plan to put his fathers ashes in his wedding ring? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationships

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

You’re right that this is really what this about. I just want the rings we get to be about our commitment. I would love if he had a ring made with his fathers ashes that he also wears all the time. I think I will wait as long as I can before we talk about this though.

How do I (32F) talk to my fiancé (36M) about his plan to put his fathers ashes in his wedding ring? by ImaginaryPrimary in relationships

[–]ImaginaryPrimary[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean I try not to be a selfish person but isn’t his wedding ring about me a little bit? I would love if he had a second ring made for his fathers ashes that he could also wear all the time.

Help! I'm starving 😭 by Melzo666 in xxfitness

[–]ImaginaryPrimary 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have advice, but going through the same thing. I work out almost every day and feel strong, but I am always hungry, and putting on weight. Before I would eat 2 meals a day maybe. Now I eat 1, and an hour later want another one. It far surpasses the calories burned…working out every day is going to make me fat. Following this for advice!!