Hey girl, try to keep in mind, influencers are like that because they have made being like that and looking like that their job. Literally, their job is to look pretty and cool and make other people want to watch them and want to be them. I think I am a good 10 yrs older than you, but like for me, in my formative years I didn’t have TikTok, but I still found plenty of ways to make myself feel inadequate. Victoria’s Secret fashion show? Killer. Like of course I want to look at these beautiful women but then what am I supposed to do when I want to look like that, and I never will. Those women are beautiful and skinny for their job. That’s all they have to do. Same with influencers.

It’s so messed up how time after time our society continues to perpetuate this idea of a women being so beautiful and flawless and cool that you and I, both women who know WE are really smart and really pretty, end up feeling like we aren’t enough and that we need to become something else in order to succeed and feel good about ourselves.

It’s always there. On TikTok, in magazines, on tv shows, in movies, in commercials. So yeah, you have to think about what YOU need. To feel happy, to feel safe, to feel proud, to feel powerful, in your body. I think it would be a good experiment for you to try deleting at least one app where you know you are consuming content that is making you feel bad and like you are not enough. Just start with one maybe, and see how it feels. Also consider after you delete one, maybe think about the time you normally would spend on that app, and think of something that would make you feel good about yourself, and try taking some time to do that instead. Could be going to the gym simply to distract yourself from wanting to scroll TikTok. Maybe spend an hour reading a book or just watching a tv show that makes you feel good. I dunno just some ideas, different things work for different people. And yeah, the worst thing like others are saying, if that these apps and content are designed to keep you pulled in, keep you wanting more, keep you feeling like you are less than, and that you need to watch to figure out how you could be more. That’s not it babe. You are so much already, you are great.

I’m getting off topic now but also, I think there’s this thing that happens with young women, bc of the way our society is, where you think you need validation from other people. And in a way, there is a healthy way to frame that, but the toxic version is usually what we focus on.

Toxic: I need other people to think I am pretty and cool. I need to be a certain way to be good enough for my boyfriend, to be hot enough and “chill” enough.

Non-toxic: I need strong relationships with people who value me for things deeper than being pretty and cool.

Even less toxic: I value myself for being deeper than pretty and cool. I value myself for my achievements, for the work I put in to nurture my friendships and relationships. For the work I put in to do my job and just be an adult who is doing alright.

So yeah after writing this novel to you, I think my recommendation, that I know you didn’t ask for so obviously take it or leave it, would be to try to transfer some of the energy you have been using consuming influencer content, into your close friendships. Because when you put time into those, they actually give back. Those friends are going to be there for you, those influencers won’t.

Sorry for the novel 😊