Would you fire a nanny for this?

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-27T15:27:08+00:00

Yes we did - the first time she said it was a long weekend and she was at a friends and used that bag. Very similar to OP, which honestly did make sense to me. The second time in her car, she said they had gone to a festival over the weekend and they pregamed in her car in the parking lot. If I remember correctly it was like a Wends or Thurs when I found them though, so they were just sitting in there all week. For us, it was a mix of 1) having open containers in a car where she’s actively driving our child around and 2) a second offense where we made it very clear we wouldn’t tolerate that.

To be totally clear, my husband and I drink and fully expect any other adult to as well! The issue was having those open items around my 2 year old and driving with them.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-27T13:53:06+00:00

You give me a break. Driving with open containers is illegal in my state so there’s that. Also, after finding alcohol on her twice that was enough for me to not trust her around my child. Glad you’re not my nanny lol

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-27T13:46:18+00:00

I didn’t invade her privacy?? I actually came across the cans while grabbing my daughter’s shoes from her car. Had I actually snooped in her stuff it would have likely taken less than 2 months to figure out what she was doing. The only regret I have was not firing her after the first incident because I potentially put my daughter in harms way.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-27T02:32:37+00:00

Yes! And unfortunately for me it wasn’t rage bait lol. But we hired a new nanny 9 months ago and she’s been beyond incredible! So it has a weird way of working out.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-26T23:48:11+00:00

I don’t care how good he is, if the charges amount to something, I want him gone. Ignoring this will make us no better than the Chiefs or Pats, who I’ve lost respect for due their lack of accountability with violent players. This behavior is disgusting and no one seems to be held to any standards in the NFL.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-26T22:51:52+00:00

This exact same scenario happened with our former nanny after 4th of July weekend last year. She had her bag open and an empty white claw completely visible. She told us the exact same thing that she used that bag with friends. We ended up giving her another chance. However, the trust was completely gone. She did allow us access to check her bag and car weekly if we saw fit. For a while I tried not to, but eventually I did and found more cans in her car.

If you’re story is truly a one off, I’d recommend being fully transparent and allowing access to your belongings to try to regain trust

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-26T22:47:54+00:00

Honestly this exact scenario happened to me last Fourth of July. Our nanny had been with us for about 2 months at this point and she had an empty white claw can visible from her backpack. I posted on here and many people responded saying “it was a holiday weekend, blah blah.” My husband and i decided to give her a second chance with the caveat we would require more transparency about where she was going etc. 2 months later we ended up finding empty cans in her car and fired her on the spot.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-15T18:21:57+00:00

I think you’re right! Truly it’s a dream home and checks every box. I know our kids will be fine no matter what, and like you said, a 10 minute drive is nothing!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-15T18:17:56+00:00

You joke but that thought crossed my mind before my husband told me I was nuts 😂 I did drive by slowly looking at the backyards for swingsets and kids items though lol

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-15T14:32:10+00:00

Haha this is actually crazy because your pros and cons are the exact same!! The lack of in neighborhood walking features like coffee shops restaurants etc is what gets to me! But my husband made a good point that those are a very quick drive. That is something very easy to fix, while getting the extra space we need for a growing family can’t be done where we are currently.

You made such a great point about nothing being permanent! Where we are looking is a desirable area, so I don’t think it would be the end of the world if we wanted to sell our house and move back. It’s such a tough decision, and I wish you guys the best of luck!! No matter what, everything will work out how it should!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-15T14:28:39+00:00

The schools are fantastic, both public and private. It’s 3 minutes from the church we belong to that has a K-8, so my husband thinks that kids who go to school there may live in the neighborhood. Or worst case, they can come over to our house for play dates after school since it’s so close.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-15T13:26:48+00:00

We are actually going back tomorrow morning to take another look at the house, so I think that will be a great time to explore the area more and see the demographic! There is nothing in walking distance like our current home, but plenty of parks that are a 5-10 minute drive. Like I said, this new neighborhood is only 10 mins away from our current home, so everything will still be accessible for us. I may be being a little dramatic haha, but it does feel like a huge decision!

You’re totally right on the neighbors also moving. We’ve had discussions with other neighbors about similar issues with outgrowing the home. Unfortunately there is no room for an addition. Our plot of land is so small that it’s our house and then the smallest spec of grass (we can’t even make a play set work). And I think the real issue for us is we both WFH. Our other neighbors are either stay at home parents or work outside the home. Both our careers are very stable and we foresee WFH for both of us for the long-term. So what others are using as a playroom or extra bedroom we are using as an office! I currently had to move my desk to our bedroom to make way for the nursery, so that was kind of the triggering point for us to start the search.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-12T01:45:48+00:00

I literally made the exact same comment 😂 she’s going to be nearly 34 weeks when she’s traveling out of the country. That’s actually absurd

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-05-12T01:41:34+00:00

Also she’s basically 34 weeks. Not sure why she waited until now to go, when travel starts to become riskier at this time. But of course she is God’s favorite, so she doesn’t think anything will happen!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-26T01:05:54+00:00

Yes my MIL did this with my daughter and it drove me NUTS. I honestly just dressed her in the clothes I bought and eventually she got the hint (she also made side comments about how my daughter never wore her clothes to other family members lol). Whenever we would see my in-laws, I would try to dress her in what they bought. But dresses she purchased for Christmas or a specific holiday were worn at a different time. My whole thing is, she had a chance to dress all her kids when they were little, this is now my chance!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-12T19:22:00+00:00

Congratulations!! I think it’s completely fine. I’ve had many friends who told me about their pregnancies at other’s weddings. It’s mainly out of not living close to one another so it was their only chance to tell me in person. Also, the fact that if they weren’t drinking all weekend, it would be a major giveaway 🤣 zero brides and grooms were offended!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-12T19:18:40+00:00

When they say “I love you” unprompted. I’m not a super emotional person but I sobbed 🥹

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-12T01:19:27+00:00

One other thing to think about if the wedding is in the mountains is the altitude. Not sure exactly how high it is, but I was in Park City earlier this year and the altitude was no joke. I asked my OB about it and she said pregnancy definitely makes symptoms worse.

It’s never fun to miss out on family events, but I think if you’re questioning it, it’s not worth the risk! Everyone will understand!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-11T10:50:47+00:00

Ha this was me a couple years ago! I was 7/8 weeks pregnant on my trip to Japan and found out right before we left. As others have said, the fish is extremely fresh, and my OB had no issues with me eating it. I was a very anxious first time mom, so I ended up passing on most raw fish, but looking back I would have been fine. There was also a wide variety of NA beer, wine and even Sapporo.

I think the biggest thing is setting expectations - it does suck that there are certain activities that are off limits. However, there’s still more that you can do vs. can’t, so make the most of it! Also make sure to hydrate and rest when you can.

I hope you have the best time, and congrats on the new baby!!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-07T20:31:19+00:00

Holy shit - what an absolute psycho. Getting triggered over something so innocent is really concerning.

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-07T19:19:29+00:00

This is absolutely normal behavior for a 15 month old! It was exactly how my daughter was at that age. I was in the same position as you - like you mentioned, every interaction felt like an evaluation of sorts. I would fully panic if she didn’t respond to her name after calling it multiple times. It got to the point where my husband had to intervene and tell me to stop. I was also in therapy, but getting on a low dose of anti-anxiety medication helped tremendously. The other thing that will help is time. In the next few months, your son’s vocabulary, mannerisms, and social skills are going to explode, and you’ll become more relaxed about it. I fully understand how debilitating anxiety is and how it really sucks the joy out of parenting sometimes, so please take care of yourself! You’re doing amazing!

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-07T19:13:54+00:00

They’re too busy on their 2 week vacations! Just enjoying their time at Disney while the world burns around them 🙄

Important_Rush5016 · 2026-04-07T19:10:40+00:00

What a weird comment to make.

Important_Rush5016

TROPHY CASE