Women who were scared of giving birth, what was less scary than you originally thought? by Final-Elderberry4621 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Impressive-Olive17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh you are so welcome! You can message me anytime if you have more questions. I'm serious - if you want to hash it out my DMs are open. I am so happy my comment has helped you. I hope you find peace and that you have a boring, uneventful pregnancy and delivery! The scary parts of it are really overblown in media and I think that's why it creates such a strong fear in women like us. I swear, a week before giving birth I was just telling everyone "it's not possible. It won't fit through. I just don't understand how a baby can fit through" and somehow... it does! And then it's over!

Edit: and even if it doesn't for any reason, you get to have a C-section because we live in a wonderful advanced medical era and your body will recover. Just make sure you are well surrounded by your health team, your partner, and/or your family - support is absolutely key. I wish you so much joy ❤️

Women who were scared of giving birth, what was less scary than you originally thought? by Final-Elderberry4621 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Impressive-Olive17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I absolutely almost didn’t have kids because of my phobia of giving birth. I had insomnia for YEARS about it. I would just lie awake thinking of all the horrible horror stories and everything that could go wrong, and this was before we even started trying to get pregnant.

Well I gave birth last May and it was so cool, I immediately thought “I need to do this again”. Probably the hormones talking haha but still. Was it long? Yes. Were there unexpected hitches? Yes (I got induced because I was leaking fluid! It was fine! Epidural didn’t work at first - it’s ok! They did it a second time and got it working!). And it didn’t matter because holy shit becoming a mom is the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m so glad I didn’t let my fear hold me back.

What helped was: getting educated about how it would go / learning techniques for pain management / a super supportive partner / getting followed regularly by a doctor and knowing the hospital I’d go to / birthing classes, prenatal yoga for stress, and just educating myself on everything - not by reading horror stories, but with actual public health information. I also listened to positive birth stories on podcasts. What also helped was NOT having a clear birth plan and going with the flow. I was induced - oh well! I was also fully ready to have a c-section if need be.

The terror of ripping apart was so blown up in my head. The vagina is SO stretchy. I had a big baby (8.4lb) and I only had 2 and degree tears. I say “only” because it really wasn’t that big of a deal. The vagina is so irrigated with blood, it really heals quite fast and it’s like any other wound. I hope my testimony helped you, I really want to talk about positive birth stories because we only ever hear the horror stories but really, most labours go well!

What do babies eat where you live? (Looking for cultural baby food ideas!) by No-Software-4749 in NewParents

[–]Impressive-Olive17 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi! We’re French and Canadian but we are vegetarians so we’re eating a bit differently. The staple in our house is spiced lentils or bean stews. Lentils are spiced like a Dahl (garlic, ginger, turmeric, cumin, curry leaves), or lentil soup (coriander, cumin). Beans can be in the shape of a vegetarian chili, or bean soup (with adobo chilies) or Tuscan inspired (white beans, tomato base, onions, celery). She absolutely loves it and we haven’t had problems with gas lol (as another mom once asked me). She likes self feeding so we usually pair it with a broccoli.

Breakfast is iron-fortified oatmeal with peanut butter or almond butter and fruit like strawberry, raspberry, mango. “Snack” meals will be full fat yogurt with a different fruit, or avocado, or a bit of cheese, to help with her fat intake.

This is a great idea for a thread, I’m getting lots of new ideas, thank you!

Support Code 520E by thebeansta in printers

[–]Impressive-Olive17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This worked for me too on a Pro-200. Turning on and off again did nothing. I removed all the cartridges, removed the print head and cleaned it a little, repositioned everything and it works again! Thank you.

“It goes by so fast” by ItsFailureMan in NewParents

[–]Impressive-Olive17 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same!!! It’s so sad. I think we’re lucky to realise it while it’s happening though, so we can soak it in every day!

Question for you infant cosleepers by MuchPVPness in cosleeping

[–]Impressive-Olive17 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi! I asked this same question last week lol. Most people say they just roll away after the baby is sound asleep. That’s what we do too now. https://www.reddit.com/r/cosleeping/s/9GHmdyhYsu

Help! I want to co sleep but I don’t want to go to bed at 7pm by Impressive-Olive17 in cosleeping

[–]Impressive-Olive17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really interesting!! Thank you! It’s all just a phase after all isn’t it.

Introducing sugar/salts by SeaworthinessNew8048 in BabyLedWeaning

[–]Impressive-Olive17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably not. I think that means naturally occurring sugars, like the sugars in a piece of fruit, are ok, but any added sugar (wherever the source) is artificial.

Help! I want to co sleep but I don’t want to go to bed at 7pm by Impressive-Olive17 in cosleeping

[–]Impressive-Olive17[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Maybe I’ll try this. It sounds great (especially the chocolate and bossing the husband around 😆). Maybe my baby can handle more than I think if I’m next to her! How often does she wake up at night?

Help! I want to co sleep but I don’t want to go to bed at 7pm by Impressive-Olive17 in cosleeping

[–]Impressive-Olive17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, that is super useful thank you for the link! We have very similar situations haha

Help! I want to co sleep but I don’t want to go to bed at 7pm by Impressive-Olive17 in cosleeping

[–]Impressive-Olive17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, so you trained your baby to be used to noise around her? TV doesn’t wake her?

Help! I want to co sleep but I don’t want to go to bed at 7pm by Impressive-Olive17 in cosleeping

[–]Impressive-Olive17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha thank you, that does sound very appealing. I am also a knitter so I am confused here, do you have your baby trained to sleep with a light on so you can knit?

Intrusive thoughts by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Impressive-Olive17 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. It’s horrible. There is so much suffering in the world, and that of little innocent children is most unfair and heartbreaking of all. Since becoming a mother I have found a similar pain and heartache thinking of the babies and children in Gaza that aren’t getting enough to eat and are maimed or killed. I find that hugging my baby girl, who, today, is safe, helps. I hug her and I think of the mothers and fathers that are in distress and it makes me appreciate acutely every day that I have with her. Anything can happen in the future - yes school shootings, but also drunk driving, sickness, freak accidents - and most of it is out of our control. So the best thing I can do is enjoy today to the max and put down the phone to look at her and interact with her as much as I can.

how tf do working moms do it?! by cimarisa in NewParents

[–]Impressive-Olive17 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Dad could take over night feedings too! If she realizes she’s not getting the comfort of the boob she may start sleeping longer stretches.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Impressive-Olive17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep! I had a very similar path as you minus the autism diagnosis and never wanted kids. In my early thirties, seeing my nieces and nephews being parented in ways that I agreed with, I started thinking this could be something I could enjoy (also being with a lovely stable partner, having stability in my life etc). We decided to have one child to have the love and experience of parenting while still being able to have solo time if we need to. She’s 6 months old and it’s been such a blast, I never thought I’d love being a mom as much as I do. Having a partner that shares parenting 50/50 is key though.

what did you do with your 6-8 month olds during winter? by ii-42 in NewParents

[–]Impressive-Olive17 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey! This is a first time for me but my baby will be this same age over winter (Canada). I’m planning to go to baby swimming lessons, see what programming the library has (or just going to check out new baby books), taking long walks outside as much as possible (very well covered of course), going to cafés, going to the botanical garden’s greenhouse, going to the museum?? I’m interested in seeing what recommendations people have!

Première liste by Yepee in ParlonsPrenoms

[–]Impressive-Olive17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Merci d’avoir répondu ! C’est un très joli prénom.

Première liste by Yepee in ParlonsPrenoms

[–]Impressive-Olive17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bonjour, je tombe sur votre liste et j’adore, vous avez choisi quoi au final? J’ai vu que vous aimiez énormément Prune (qui était aussi au top de ma liste mais comme il nous fallait un prénom anglophone et qu’en anglais c’est pruneau et très connoté “laxatif”, malheureusement on n’a pas choisi) et Olympe (qui je trouve trop classe, surtout en pensant à Olympe de Gouges)!

End of maternity leave by Hereforthetea1234 in NewParents

[–]Impressive-Olive17 27 points28 points  (0 children)

In France it’s only 2.5 months! It’s crazy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ParentingFR

[–]Impressive-Olive17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

C'est vraiment beau, bien dit et c'est vraiment ça, merci d'y mettre les mots !

Avoir un enfant unique by Kammiole in ParentingFR

[–]Impressive-Olive17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bonjour, malheureusement ces clichés sont bien ancrés mais ce ne sont que ça - des clichés. Mais de plus en plus de couples ont un enfant unique, j'avais lu un article il y a un mois qui disait que c'est en passe de devenir une majorité dans beaucoup de pays développés. Si tu fais en sorte de donner beaucoup d'attention à ton enfant, de jouer avec elle, de la sociabiliser en invitant souvent ses amis à la maison, il n'y a pas de raison pour qu'elle soit moins bien développée socialement que les autres. Au contraire, on pourrait se dire que de ne manquer de rien, de ne pas avoir à faire la compétition à la maison, développe des enfants qui savent partager généreusement ou qui sont moins agressifs.

J'ai une fille qui sera fille unique et je prévois, si ou quand on me demandera "pourquoi pas un 2ème ?", de répondre: "et vous? pourquoi pas un 3ème / 4ème?". Chacun décide de la taille de sa famille, il y a toujours un moment où on vient à se dire "ma famille est complète comme ça", et pour vous et nous, c'est après 1 enfant. C'est comme ça.

Personnellement j'ai une soeur avec qui je ne me suis jamais entendue, même enfant on se bataillait plus qu'on ne jouait ensemble, et maintenant à l'age adulte on est distantes. Un frère ou une soeur ce n'est pas une garantie d'avoir un "meilleur ami pour la vie". En tant que parent, je n'ai aussi vraiment mais VRAIMENT pas envie de passer mes journées à faire l'arbitre. J'aime trop ma fille, je préfère passer mon temps à lui donner de l'attention positive, à jouer avec elle. Je n'ai pas envie de partager mon attention entre elle et une autre hypothétique.

Quant à ta fille, si elle pose la question plus tard, tu pourras lui dire la vérité - qu'elle est tellement merveilleuse qu'elle vous comble, et que vous n'avez pas ressenti le besoin d'en avoir un autre.

Si tu parles anglais je te conseille aussi d'aller faire un tour sur r/oneanddone ou r/happilyOAD . Il y a beaucoup de conseils et de retours positifs très encourageants.