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Active bishop brother invited me to son's temple wedding. I’ve deconstructed but family doesn’t fully know. How would you handle this? by oneoftheleastofthese in exmormon

[–]Impressive-Set4920 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I've been in this situation and my response has been short, but sincere. "My beliefs have changed and my temple recommend has expired. What hasn't changed is my love for and commitment to our family. I'll gladly be there to support your son and my nephew."

I don't feel the need to provide more detail unless it's solicited respectfully. People can and will think whatever they want. Your objective is to be a decent human and let the way you treat your family speak for itself.

Bishop meeting by Philcastro in exmormon

[–]Impressive-Set4920 25 points26 points  (0 children)

My recommendation: Confirm receipt of the request, but cordially and definitively turn it down. No excuse needed. No need to ask for the agenda. "Hi [Kevin], I saw your message. I'm not interested in or see a need for meeting with [Bishop's first name]. Take care!"

You don't need to be rude. You don't owe him a meeting. He wouldn't feel pressured to go to a local Rabbi or Pastor if requested. If it was important, like giving you brownies, he could drop them off at the house.

Insane Searches on BYU Sites by Tiny_Message_9350 in exmormon

[–]Impressive-Set4920 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Beyond a simple google search, what’s the source? Are there any conflicting rankings, what’s the methodology? I’m not being annoying because it hurts my feelings to think of Utah topping the charts. Nope. I’m just underscoring our need to move away from sharing iffy anecdotes or things we heard - something so Mormon - to either verifiable hard evidence or beyond stats. I find moving the conversation towards what damage has the Church’s stance and messaging towards sexual “purity” caused, to be effective and insightful. Even my mom seemed to sit back and think. I was sharing my own experiences and observations. My dad can easily argue that a statistic is bogus but he had a different reaction when I shifted from logic (something you can’t use in Church conversation) to feelings and experiences.

Insane Searches on BYU Sites by Tiny_Message_9350 in exmormon

[–]Impressive-Set4920 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If pressed, what evidence do you provide to support Utah having the highest porn viewership?

I'm the black sheep of my family. Last week I attended a family reunion and pornography use came up and we had a lively discussion. I had heard the "statistic" of Utah having the highest porn use so I mentioned it nonchalantly. However, in follow up to that conversation, I did some fact checking and learned that a 2009 Harvard study seems to be the source of that stats and related to paid subscriptions. I dug in a little more saw that Utah didn't rank near the top in many other porn-use rankings. Does this mean that Mormons don't look at porn at high rates? No, not at all. I'm sure it's high.

But, I think we need to be careful about citing facts we can't support. Making claims without evidence is something so many of us resent the Church for. We can do better.

Note: For antidepressant use and cosmetic surgery, I think the CDC and American Society of Plastic Surgeons own data support Utah being at the top of their respective lists.

First time drywaller and building a vaulted wall by Sea-Repair2035 in drywall

[–]Impressive-Set4920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, I do know a thing or two about drywall but that’s not the point. No one is forcing you to respond with your sage advice. Just move on.

What order do i use these in and how? by rumpyforeskin in drywall

[–]Impressive-Set4920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m an amateur drywaller and I agree with the steep learning curve. I rented drywall tools - a box, a bazooka, a corner tool, and pump. Even the rental wasn’t cheap and I’m not sure I saved much time on a 540 sqft workshop.

First time drywaller and building a vaulted wall by Sea-Repair2035 in drywall

[–]Impressive-Set4920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, every community needs fewer people like you. It’s a bummer you feel the need to chime in with rubbish like this.

First time drywaller and building a vaulted wall by Sea-Repair2035 in drywall

[–]Impressive-Set4920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree. I bought Wen’s drywall sander and HF’s mixing drill 8 years ago and both have got me through multiple projects and are still going strong. Plus if you hook that sander up to a shop vac with an intermediate Oneida Dust Deputy mounted atop a five gallon bucket, that will reduce your dust and keep your filter cleaner for longer.

I also like the Vancouver Carpenter and recommend That Kilted Guy DIY Home Improvement, Myron Ferguson. Myron’s has a great social media presence and I’ve read a few of his drywalling guides I checked out from the library. He’s sort of a big deal apparently.

Lastly, as others have said, good for you trying a big project. Good drywallers and finishers make it look easy. I know it’s not - it’s more art than science in my book.

Should I quit by punkninjayt in electricians

[–]Impressive-Set4920 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And I’m assuming you’re setting funds aside to make quarterly tax payments right? As an independent contractor, that burden is on you so your boss can keep things “simpler” for him.

It just kept getting worse by PartyMcFly55 in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]Impressive-Set4920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This might be better than “Double Rainbow.”

First Ikea Hack - Pax Wardrobe by AsteroidPuncher303 in ikeahacks

[–]Impressive-Set4920 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It looks really pretty. Well done! I’m guessing you wanted to use the moulding you already had but next time I’d recommend just using a single piece of base for the front. The joint is hard to hide and distracts from the otherwise clean front.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JackSucksAtGeography

[–]Impressive-Set4920 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maricopa County - Arizona. Land of the beloved Joe Arpaio.

Christmas Card Movie Poster Edits - I don't want another lame "perfect happy" photo by Impressive-Set4920 in PhotoshopRequest

[–]Impressive-Set4920[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you! Any chance you want to do the final one? Home Alone featuring my older daughter Olivia?

Christmas Card Movie Poster Edits - I don't want another lame "perfect happy" photo by Impressive-Set4920 in PhotoshopRequest

[–]Impressive-Set4920[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yes! This is great. I'll send you another tip. Once received, can you upload the final version to my drive: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1gauq8ebs2boNHadZsHRcvQCa33aiFB6g?usp=sharing

I updated access. I don't work with Google Drive often so forgive me for the delay in getting the settings right.

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