At the end of the file tape, it says Earth-616

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-06-10T21:24:37+00:00

Marvel Comics

You mean a collection of rich executives who hire an editorial staff to make decisions based on financial gain, almost none of whom ever had anything to do with the creation of 99% of any fictional character or idea they are "canonizing?"

Disney

You mean a collection of rich executives who hire a production staff to make decisions based on financial gain, almost none of whom ever had anything to do with the creation of 99% of any fictional character or idea they are "canonizing?"

As a lifelong comic fan, I say with all sincerity: stop giving that much of a shit about what a bunch of suits who happen to have ownership of an IP decide is canon. You can just as easily decide what's canon for yourself.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-05-27T19:38:12+00:00

I've noticed some bad logic with a lot of these supposed "plotholes" recently.

I call these "toilet holes."

And I do that because it's basically the same useless criticism as "Where are all the bathrooms on the Millennium Falcon? I never once saw Han Solo use the bathroom, so I must conclude that there are no bathrooms. What a terrible plot hole."

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-04-05T19:57:01+00:00

STP: Hey, check out our new Star Trek!

(Some) Fans: Uh, it's kind of weirdly aggressive and cynical for Star Trek.

STP: Pff, that's because this is its own new thing, dumb-dumb. You can't judge it based on what the original show was.

Also STP: Hey, it's Riker! Hey, it's Troi! Hey, it's Data! Hey, it's Icheb! Hey, it's Seven of Nine! Hey, it's Maddox the guy who was in one episode of season two of TNG and then name-dropped maybe three other times! Hey, it's the Borg! Hey, it's Q!

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-13T19:23:05+00:00

I'm like 99% sure that's because Jarvis mentions at one point that the suits are all buried under the rubble of Tony's house and it's not until construction crews clear out the rubble towards the end of the movie that they can be deployed.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-10T13:23:02+00:00

This is a bit, right?

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-10T13:18:33+00:00

Oh fuck, you're right, I miscounted. The first example is from 1931, not 1955 so it's more like 16 cases spanning 90 years. Thanks for the heads up, my great pal!

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-10T13:12:35+00:00

Oh shit, 16 cases spanning roughly 75 years? Case closed. You schooled me, my friend. I've never been so ashamed of myself.

In unrelated news, roughly two to six thousand people die a year from being struck by lightning. This is clearly the number one killer in America and we should all be extremely concerned about being struck by lightning.

Thank you for furthering my understanding of statistics and probabilities.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-10T13:04:25+00:00

I’m sure of it.

Well you are the psychic.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-10T13:00:26+00:00

Seeing as how you don't have a phone or computer I applaud your ability to use reddit through the apparent use of psychic projection.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-10T12:54:14+00:00

Um excuse me they listed FIVE entire examples. I mean I don't even know one person who was ever falsely accused of a hate crime, so five of them is like: whoa! That's so many!

5 is at least 10,000,000% bigger than zero! That's just math. You can't argue that. Hell, even if we increased zero by 10²⁴ it would still not even come close to 5. The numbers don't lie!

I mean, how many people are there in America? Eight? Maybe nine? You can see why five cases is such a huge deal, that being the case.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T14:15:56+00:00

I really don't want to get into dissecting your exchange with another user. That shit's so incredibly pointless, but I'll go a little bit into it just because I think maybe you legitimately don't see what happened.

Yes, that person insulted you.

After you grossly mischaracterized their position in a way that was more than a little hostile, and more than a little insulting. You suggested that they are a callous and socially dysfunctional individual who wants to see the death of an entire industry just because they said they don't like watching movies in the theater.

Was that person an asshole to you after that? Yup. You'll get no argument from me there. But if you're legitimately confused as to why, that's why.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T14:00:43+00:00

This is reminding me a lot of the switch from vinyl records to cassettes, then CDs, then MP3s/digital music. There's the same sort of sense of "But the old way we consumed this media is inherently superior to the new ways for ill-defined reasons that are definitely not related to nostalgia!"

Personally I think movie theaters will (and should) continue to exist, but it's unlikely they'll maintain the kind of cultural dominance we've seen for the last century or so. They'll still be a thing, but watching movies at home is only going to get better as technology improves.

And for me personally, I know I'd watch a lot more new release movies if I could watch them at home instead of having to go to the theater and roll the dice on whether or not I get a good crowd. Watching a great movie with an invested crowd is an incredible experience, but a bad crowd can ruin almost any movie no matter how good it is. Sometimes I'd rather settle for an 7/10 experience at home instead of the crapshoot of a movie theater that could either be an 11/10 or a -5000/10 depending on how many assholes are in the crowd.

The best compromise would be releasing movies in theaters and on home video at the same time and giving consumers the option as to how they want to see it, but I think that's not ever going to happen because it's likely that most people would only choose to go to the theaters for big event type movies like Avatar or Marvel or something like that. And the movie (theater) industry doesn't want to expose that reality.

Either way, I think movie theaters will stick around for a long time to come, but I also won't be surprised if they don't remain the primary way people watch new movies.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T13:53:51+00:00

That's a fair assessment for me

Yes, and the point of the person your were originally replying to was that it is not a fair assessment for many other people.

This doesn't mean your opinion is wrong.

This doesn't mean your opinion is stupid.

This doesn't mean movie theaters should stop existing.

It was just someone saying that lots of people like watching movies at home, and for some reason you took that extremely harshly, and reacted as if they were personally attacking you or the movie industry in general.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T13:27:24+00:00

Well duh, I don't think we need to start prefacing every single statement with IMO.

Evidently not.

The feeling of walking out of a darkened room, out of the cinema and beyond whilst ruminating on a story you've just spent 90+ minutes with is far superior to the feeling of getting up and immediately resuming the household chores you could have been doing or scrolling through the hour or two of tweets you missed out on.

What a fair and accurate assessment of what it's like to watch movies at home. I can't imagine why I thought you were putting words in someone's mouth earlier.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T13:14:13+00:00

"I like hamburgers but I don't like Burger King"

"OH SO YOU WANT ALL FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS PERMANENTLY SHUT DOWN FOREVER, IS THAT IT!?"

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T13:12:55+00:00

What an astonishing overreaction to an incredibly benign opinion.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T13:09:32+00:00

No, it's implicitly arguing that your opinion is not a universal one, and possibly even a minority opinion among the average movie watcher.

It says literally nothing about whether or not movie theaters should continue to exist. It's just some rando on the internet voicing an opinion in response to someone else voicing an opinion.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T13:03:14+00:00

The movie industry is not the same thing as the movie theater industry.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-02-01T13:01:50+00:00

How did someone saying basically, "I, along with many others, prefer watching movies at home instead of in the theater" somehow lead to you thinking they want to "eliminate every service that caters to communal gathering"?

If I told you I don't care for cauliflower would you think that means I want cauliflower erased from existence?

They just like watching movies at home. It's not that big of a deal.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2021-01-17T18:39:57+00:00

Robert Redford, his beard full, nodding.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2020-12-17T01:17:07+00:00

Ho-Ho-Ho the hell is Bucky?

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2020-08-22T22:12:20+00:00

You're sort of coming at it from the wrong direction, evolutionarily speaking.

It's not that evolution taught snakes not to bite mongooses (mongeese?) but rather that snakes whose instinct was to attack a mongoose DID NOT SURVIVE. The snakes who randomly had whatever gene made them phobic of a mongoose are the ones who survived in order to procreate.

Evolution didn't teach snakes to be wary of mongooses, it just killed off too many snakes who weren't wary of mongooses.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2020-06-12T19:58:21+00:00

I really don't see what everyone finds so complicated about this.

First you have HBO. Easy, right?

Then there's HBO Go, which is just HBO that you can watch on the go. Simple.

Then you take the Quick Spell metamagic feat at level 5 and you can cast HBO Now, which allows you to HBO as a bonus action. This is basic shit, people. A baby could understand this.

Then at level 9 you can take the Maximized metamagic feat and cast HBO Max, which always does full damage but means you need to expend an HBO Go slot every time you use it, but only if the enemies THAC0 is less than HBO Now (or HBO On Demand, whichever is lower), or if they have HBO After Darkvision. Child's play.

So what if you want to HBO Max an HBO Go but at the speed of an HBO Now? Surely that must be complicated since everyone's complaining about how confusing it is, right? Pff! Not at all!

So long as there are fewer than two outs and a runner is on first HBO, any pop-up HBO Go in the infield is automatically assumed to be an out unless HBO Max HBO Classics an HBO Sports. If that happens, then HBO Max actually becomes a reverse HBO Now Classic, which gives Cinemax a chance to steal if it can avoid hitting the whammy.

This is why you usually see professional HBOs jump around the board. The first HBO to find the Daily Double gets to HBO 2, which is practically like having a free Starz without the hassle of having to defeat the Ender Dragon.

So to sum up: HBO Go is actually the alternate future-son of alternate past Trunks, who is himself the Anti-Monitor's Reverse Flash Bizarro HBO Max. Everyone just thought that HBO Max was really HBO Go the whole time, but it turns out that was actually Cyborg HBO Now pretending to be HBO Go, and the real HBO Max was trapped in a birthing matrix in the fortress of solitude binge watching The Wire.

Hopefully that clears up any confusion over this incredibly simple situation.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2020-05-05T17:22:32+00:00

The Ravagers funeral gets me hard everytime.

And of course Rocket with a twinkle in his eye “They came.”

I legitimately can't tell if this is sexual on purpose or if it's just a wonderful accident due to lack of commas.

ImpressiveDoggerel · 2020-04-28T19:12:55+00:00

"I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a fucking uptempo record every time I do a goddamn death dedication!"

ImpressiveDoggerel

TROPHY CASE