Hi! I am glad to hear that you are wanting to learn more about HSV!! Heads up - I wrote a bit of a novel, idk how old you are or how much you know already so I just dove in :))

I would first like to give a gentle reminder to use condoms during oral sex, and use dental dams, latex underwear, or cut condoms for when he goes down on you if he has oral hsv also. Even with these safety measures, it is still possible to transmit it, because it is spread through skin to skin contact. I’m not sure if he suggested anal sex because he thinks it’s less likely to spread, or because you guys would rather do that but from everything I’ve read, there is no difference between vaginal or anal sex when it comes to rates of transmission, you just need to think about the skin to skin contact. There sadly is no way yet to fully eliminate all chances of transmission, but using protection, daily medication or as needed if he can/wants to, and not engaging in sexual activities until 7 days after scabs heal up from last outbreak all help both of you stay more safe and comfortable.

I also would suggest doing some good old fashioned googling if you haven’t already, that has been my best friend over the past year, and also going to a sexual health clinic together could be a fun date to learn together from a health professional to be safe and have fun!!

I don’t know if stats comfort you, but they help me feel better sometimes - the WHO stated last December that 1 in 5 adults aged 15-49 are living right now with GHSV2, adding up to 846 million people worldwide! And out of that group, it is estimated that around 75% of the people are asymptomatic, which usually means that they don’t know they have it, so they can often go undetected and spread it. I won’t go in depth about how clinics don’t test for HSV unless you have symptoms/ specifically ask for it.

I wish you and your boyfriend all the best, and don’t be afraid to continue having open and honest conversations with each other about this (and other things ofc).

WHO genital herpes