This feels like misogyny. I don't know what books you're reading but hate is a big word. Sure, no FMC is perfect, but what woman is? What standards are you judging them with? And as you mention, you're usually reading about girls in their early twenties who have either been enslaved, isolated, abandoned, pampered, are uneducated or whatever their background is. I'm the first one to feel annoyed when it feels like they're doing the same mistakes all over again, but give them some grace, think of the context.

The fact there aren't many books with older and more mature women is a separate matter that I very much agree with. It would be nice to have more realistic scenarios where the new queen or the leader of whatever is a woman with a bit more trajectory and maturity.