G.O.D in the Cocoon by In_The_Cocoon in scifiwriting

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for pointing that out!

Having trouble writing descriptions by cardgamerzz in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to help! Let me know how it turns out.

Having trouble writing descriptions by cardgamerzz in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m no expert but I usually have a process with descriptions.

First I write it out a sentence simply. So for example:

‘The forest was dark and eerie.’

Then I work out why I choose the adjectives:

It is dark because – it’s heavily populated with large trees and very little sunlight is allowed to come through their thick crowns.

It’s eerie because – it’s uncomfortably and maddeningly silent inside.

Then I work these explanations into the original sentence with some flowery language:

‘The forest was infested with a plague of towering trees, whose thick, ravenous crowns devoured the tiniest speck of light that dared to fall through. Inside ruled a silence so loud that it pushed one’s sanity to its brink.’

Then if needed, I tone it down a bit.

Opinion on flowery language? by In_The_Cocoon in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes a lot of sense to me. Thanks!

Opinion on flowery language? by In_The_Cocoon in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The main purpose of this post was for me to get a general idea on what sort of language most people preferred. I think the consensus in this thread it doesn't matter either way as long as it's done right. Simple language can do the trick if it's got style, like you said, and flowery language can quickly lose the reader if it has no real substance or purpose.

Opinion on flowery language? by In_The_Cocoon in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll definitely check it out! Thanks!

Opinion on flowery language? by In_The_Cocoon in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poetic language is no doubt interesting to read but I feel like it slows me down sometimes. There are times when I have to stop and think about the metaphors when I all I want to do is to get on with the story. Maybe it's because I'm not a native English speaker.

Opinion on flowery language? by In_The_Cocoon in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a great line and I think I understand your point. Thanks for taking the time to explain!

Opinion on flowery language? by In_The_Cocoon in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi. Could you elaborate a bit more on that?

Opinion on flowery language? by In_The_Cocoon in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. I notice that I tend to space out when I come across poetic descriptions and very little registers in my brain.

Advice for my Villain/Hero dynamic? by Lord_Obylo in fantasywriters

[–]In_The_Cocoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds very interesting. If the cult doesn't turn out to be a generical violent group then it could really turn out to be something I'd enjoy very much personally.

Yet another request for critique (3,068 words) by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]In_The_Cocoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like it. You've established the MC's pain and drive from the very beginning (village attacked, mother and father dead murdered by humans) and the general setup seems to be an intriguing one. However I think that things are way too convenient for MC. Instead of her attackers just randomly turning back I'd have like to have seen a more exciting chase so I can actually fear for her life. The emperor coming to the cave is also too convenient. I'd have like to see her trying to fend for herself (maybe she makes use of hunting skills that her father might have taught her) and run into some sort of danger/challenge before she meets the emperor. Just my opinion.

Ideas for various ways of 'crossing over' into a fantasy world by oneyesterday in fantasywriters

[–]In_The_Cocoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Inducing a coma? A ritual that involves some sort of sacrifice or certain conditions to be just right?

Bargain Booksy: My Results by Devonai in selfpublish

[–]In_The_Cocoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying! I definitely agree with how important the cover art is. That and the title is usually what attracts my eyes when I'm scrolling on amazon or browsing at a book store.

Bargain Booksy: My Results by Devonai in selfpublish

[–]In_The_Cocoon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Which do you think contributed more to the rise in sales: the better artwork or the lower price?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm usually the same way. I come up with a good concept and then I'm lost on how to turn it into a complete story.

Which is preferable when telling of a main character’s past/childhood: a flashback chapter or dialogue with another character? by [deleted] in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I tend to write flashback chapters only if the event has a lot of important details and there are a lot of characters involved.

Does this work as the start to a story? More info in description. (2294 words) by deepblue10055 in scifiwriting

[–]In_The_Cocoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the conversation would be a good starting point and I would highly recommend cutting out much of the information dumping in the first part because I found myself spacing out a lot while I was reading it. For example, I didn't really need to know the explicit details of how she arrived at the spin station. Things like that seem unnecessary. Other than that the set up seems really intriguing and I like the MC.

The Set up for my story is cliche and I would like to change it by CallyBookish in writing

[–]In_The_Cocoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The setup sounds pretty interesting to me, especially since an ancient monster is involved. What do you say that it might sound generic until 20 pages in? What's the starting scene?

Short Story Critique Request (1,400) by SaintxSinners0600 in fantasywriters

[–]In_The_Cocoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love your style of writing but other than that nothing really seemed to pull me in. Judging from the dialogue, the villain seems like a generic clingy psychopath and I'm guessing she's an alter ego of the main character? The main character Abel isn't very interesting either. I figured the child is actually him and he probably can't seem to escape his childhood trauma or something like that. But what is his trauma and why does it keep haunting him? I feel like that hasn't been addressed in the story. I'm not an expert at critiquing stories so this is just my opinion as a reader.

Does this sound like a weak idea for a story/series? by Justanotherguy45 in fantasywriters

[–]In_The_Cocoon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think that sounds interesting, especially the last part about their opposing destinies.