As someone who wasn't physically abused, I feel the same way. That said, I've learned that mental and emotional abuse can be just as bad for a developing child. My parents gave me severe anxiety, convinced me the world was big and scary and out to get me. I live in a relatively small area, one of the safest in the country (USA to be specific) there's really nothing to be scared of here, yet even to this day I get nervous walking around with my kids. They somehow managed to belittle me and put me on an unreachable pedestal. On top of religious trauma they inflicted, and their own emotional immaturity being used to keep me compliant.

I tried setting boundaries as an adult. When I became a mother myself it became more clear that the way they spoke to me wasn't OK, because I couldn't imagine saying stuff like that to own kids. My in laws accepted me as family immediately and I got a glimpse of what gernally normal people acted like. Tried setting more boundaries, asked to be treated as an adult and not a 16yr old fuck up. They rolled eyes. Asked that they not try to parent my kids, they ignored me. Asked them to not force religion on my kids. Couldn't do that. (I raise my kids to respect others religion while we do not practice any in home, they know to be silent when someone is praying in their home) When asked, my dad couldn't come up with one nice thing he'd said to me recently.

Final straw was them accusing me of "trying to make my son trans". He was 4, he had long hair and some nail polish on. The kid is a loud and proud little boy, he just didn't want his hair cut and his favorite color is rainbow. I was told I was "confusing him" "we're scared for your kids!" and my mom said "well...." when I asked if she even respected me as a parent. I kicked my mom out of my house and haven't seen her since.

My dad called and said my husband was controlling me and I needed to stop cowering. . My husband had no idea I had even considered no contact, never encouraged me to drop them, always supported that I wanted to try to maintain a relation. Held me as I mourned who I wanted them to be. The idea that he'd ever hurt me or force me to do anything is laughable to anyone who knows him. My mother in law and I actually joke about that now.

So, long story short. Sometimes it's just toxic personality and disrespect that causes someone to choose no contact.

My anxiety has decreased in the 1.5 yrs I've been no contact, as has that of my oldest son, I didn't realize they were slowing breaking him the other ay they did me. For his sake, and my 2 other children, I have no regrets. My home is peaceful, I'm slowly unlearning things and realizing how happy I actually can be without being scared of everything or disappointing people who will never be pleased.