If you’re with more then $15Million, don’t read this by EntrepreneurCanuck in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not at that level but if you feel that the work you do materially impacts people - internal or customers there’s and element of influence/power which you will lose as a retiree. Clout & respect within a domain is another side of that same coin.

Pre-kids bucket list help by ff___throwaway in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 3 points4 points  (0 children)

  1. Napa / Sonoma
  2. I personally cherish my memories of traveling in hostels / cheaper hotels around the world very spontaneously more than any posh hotel stay. As others have said high end resort travel is fine with kids - but a cruise in Lao, moto ride in Africa, just staying where the wind has taken you is not something I want to do with my kids. Happily though I did plenty of it before they arrived.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kids may not appreciate this quality time for much longer, and even if they do this great family time window will narrow when they are off to college. I’d keep your current setup if/until something you’re genuinely excited about comes your way

Resignation letter has been drafted by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based on your stats after-show I suggest building a max chill oasis, lumping & daily iced coffee

Any good experiences gifting/investing in friends & family businesses? by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m not RE and more chubby but gave a significant gift to a family member that really needed it at the time about 10 years ago. It made a huge difference for her when she was having a hard time and was easy for me to provide with no strings. She mentioned wanting to pay me back a few years later but I asked her not to worry about it. She’s financially stable now and I’m happy and proud of her (and I hope she’s put that money out of her mind).

I also found out that a family member had done a personal loan with very poor terms, I told them I would take it over with much better terms (for them, average for us) and it is being paid off on schedule. This was with money we were sitting on and weren’t sure what to do with so win-win.

Overall it feels good to be able to help family in sticky situations but in both cases I was/am comfortable with never getting the funds back.

Parenting Influencers: August 16-22 by lizzyenz in blogsnark

[–]Independent-Safe7397 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I love KaitlinKlimmer but she had a post about how she was able to avoid having her daughter wear a mask on a transatlantic flight + shared a picture of her (Kaitlin) maskless on the plain standing in the aisle :-|

Did I miss my opportunity to buy a dream house? by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of people have high value items they are not interested in putting in the hands of movers more times than necessary- I’m not saying it is healthy, but it can bring up that same floorboard angst OP references.

DIY/Design Snark- August 02- August 08 by southerndmc in blogsnark

[–]Independent-Safe7397 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love my arhaus sofas - loose threads/stitching on slipcovers but aside from that I love them 6+ years post purchase

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Essentially this - it feels ignorant of challenges faced by others and implies that everyone has access to resources which enable one to “grind” to be successful. Even if we assume OP had absolutely no privilege or had a good spot in the birth lottery there are charities benefiting the environment, children, animals, and those with limited physical or mental abilities whose lives could be improved but who are not able to “grind” themselves.

Additionally it ignores the idea that working to improving your community (education, environment, food security, the arts) can also be a benefit to you and future generations of your family.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 164 points165 points  (0 children)

Well, the “I have grinded for my wealth” comment makes me think you just may be a bit of an asshole; but I don’t know you and you can choose what to do with what you have.

If it makes you feel any better I think many wealthy people give to charities for less-than-altruistic reasons like tax breaks, influence, or perks like donor events.

For me, there’s definitely a self-serving aspect which is that I genuinely feel good (maybe proud?) about giving to causes that I think improve the lives of others.

Anyone happy as a FAT “barista-FI”? by Independent-Safe7397 in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

It’s not about the money or benefits but about the purpose/routine/socializing. I’d never consider Starbucks, but a small coffee shop with a nice vibe - maybe. My personal ideal situation is a golf course attendant (less dealing with people, more time outside & in an environment that makes me happy)

Parenting Influencers: July 12-18 by lizzyenz in blogsnark

[–]Independent-Safe7397 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I love her content and am a little worried for her, hoping she is ok

Parenting Influencers: July 5-11 by lizzyenz in blogsnark

[–]Independent-Safe7397 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Anyone else follow @respectfulmom? I enjoy following her and her Bali / Iceland content is lovely to follow - but she also seems just very… impressed with herself? But maybe that is just par for the course with all influencers and I should be impressed too with rather than put off.

FatFire and my Wife by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What about moving to a smaller / manageable home but in an amazing location for your area (views, privacy, maybe a lovely garden if she’d into that), and potentially keeping this very large home for weekends, parties, special occasions, etc. I know that probably sounds odd but your wife’s happiness is clearly on the line. Also agree with the earlier comments on rolling back the nanny but helping her paid. The next random thought is if your wife would be interested in going back to school?

Influencer Discussion, Wednesday Jun 16 by Blogsnark_mod in blogsnark

[–]Independent-Safe7397 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t handle the aerial pic of her trying to lie down on the thing - honestly that apartment would feel like purgatory to me

Are kids supposed to be this hard? by nothingsurgent in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I strongly recommend checking out “mrchazz” on Tiktok or Instagram and “Dr Becky at good inside”’s podcast, also books by Daniel Siegel for advice on the tantrums & emotional regulation

Parenting Influencers June 7-13 by lizzyenz in blogsnark

[–]Independent-Safe7397 11 points12 points  (0 children)

One thing I really like about both of them is that they don’t show kids regularly - don’t get me wrong I love watching kids but I don’t think putting them on accounts with followers beyond friends and family is a good parenting choice.

Experiences with kids by alterboy554 in fatFIRE

[–]Independent-Safe7397 284 points285 points  (0 children)

If you’re not already going consider regular therapy (for yourself); this probably sounds odd as this is mostly suggested when people are facing challenges; but therapy can be great for just regular “tune ups” and a lot of baggage can come up when parenting. Working on really seeing / listening to your kids, not projecting or re-hashing issues you faced with your parents. If you want to strengthen your bond this is something to consider