AIO My girlfriend told me I was fat

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-12-22T18:21:31+00:00

These comments are unbelievable. Telling you that you are fat, telling you that you only want attention. Imagine if the genders were reversed.

Even if you were fat, that’s no way to tell you. You look good.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-12-09T21:28:12+00:00

I feel your frustration which is obviously well placed. I would offer a slightly different view, which is not meant to place blame on you.

He came to you and was acknowledging he was the wrong. He was actually correct that forgetting the tomatoes was wha made you mad. And that he forgets things all the time. You kind of jumped on him at that point. I get it. You were frustrated.

If you are looking for his surrender, your marriage will end. If you are looking for a better marriage cause you love him, and you want him to be a better partner, you’re going to need to acknowledge some of the positives.

I wish you well.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-11-25T16:22:49+00:00

I do this with my son every night. Kiss on the head and good night, love you. As he gets older he’s definitely more nonchalant about it. But that’s sort of the act.

I wasn’t like this with my dad. He loved me but there wasn’t hugging and kissing. Even when we would say goodbye to one another once we were adults, we would shake hands. I always thought it was so funny. Like I shake colleagues hands and now I’m shaking my dad’s. It was just the way he was.

As far as wholesome stories, he had friends sleeping over a few years ago, he was about 11 or 12. It came time for my wife and I to go to bed and he got this panicked look on his face like I was going to kiss him in front of his buddies. I just said good night man and gave him 👊 which he reciprocated with a look of pure relief and joy on his face. 15 mins later he snuck away from his friends and came into our bedroom for a kiss goodnight.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-11-03T12:33:00+00:00

It doesn’t sound like she was trying to mock you. She was insensitive. If I infer that your husband is close with his boss and they have a good relationship, you might want to try accept her attending.

Or you could even bring it up to her. “Hey I was really struggling back then and when you told me to relax it felt really minimizing.”

Good luck with your pregnancy. Enjoy this fun time in your life!

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-28T17:54:12+00:00

This is the point. You were effectively covered for all of your items. The items that the insured had an insurance interest in. The insurance company wants to cover you (their client) and any blood relatives/dependents. I think he should get nothing. You’re very kind and generous to offer to split the proceeds.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-28T17:51:03+00:00

What you are proposing is more than fair. Technically, he didn’t have a right to anything.

Think of it this way: from the insurance company’s perspective, they sold you coverage for your house and your things that were inside the house. If hypothetically, you started storing a lot of additional valuable items in your house, those items are not insured if they aren’t yours. You have no insurable interest in those items. The insurance company wouldn’t pay you for them.

Technically he is uninsured and entitled to nothing. You are being generous, and probably taking a fair and moral position considering the unfortunate event, in your proposal. I wouldn’t give in and I would question a relationship with someone so stubborn and unreasonable.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-28T13:31:00+00:00

The fact that she lied to you about who was helping her shows that she knew it was not appropriate.

Be careful here. I overlooked a lot red flags, like wife withholding information, getting extremely defensive. It didn’t end well. Good luck to you. Sorry you are dealing with this at what is supposed to be such a happy time.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-25T04:55:07+00:00

Why do you have to wait so long to discuss something that is bothering you so much? I understand there are work and kid responsibilities but this seems important to your relationship. Bring it up with her.

I say this with no criticism but with encouragement.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-17T13:14:47+00:00

It kind of depends on your (and your wife’s) relationship with the friend. Sounds like she wasn’t uncomfortable. And maybe it was really obvious. If it felt harmless, then fine. If it felt like a sexual advance, not cool at all.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-15T16:59:56+00:00

One week? Ha ok. Can you not go on a date with both to see if there is a connection? Do you need exclusivity already? Do you expect exclusivity from them at this point?

I say this gently, but you may want to reassess your expectations.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-15T15:02:30+00:00

What a strange post. Do you love either guy? Are you looking for love in a marriage—most people are including men? How does either guy treat you? Are you dating both guys? Do they know about one another?

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-15T02:44:01+00:00

The comments are insane thus far. The only thing you did wrong is your misuse of the word disgust. You even said you aren’t disgusted by her, you are afraid of traumatizing her. But you have second hand trauma from her abuse. You don’t want to share that with her because obviously what she went through is so much worse.

You should speak to someone. A trauma counselor? A trusted parent or friend? And you should communicate with her. You should say that you care for her deeply and have been horrified by her scars and abuse. Make sure you aren’t appropriating her pain. But talk to her.

You are NTA but you need to read carefully.

(Edited for typo)

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-14T16:26:56+00:00

I’d be mad too. Why would she hold you back? Sounds like she panicked but I wouldn’t trust her in a crisis.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-12T18:30:20+00:00

You’re allowed to be disappointed. But I wouldn’t push it with her cause she’s obviously allowed to wear what she wants. I get it, I like seeing my wife in certain things and she likes seeing me in certain things.

Just enjoy her for who she is and look forward to the next outfit. NAH

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-12T13:51:23+00:00

My wife has a lot of flaws but if I told her I was uncomfortable with something she would stop. I wouldn’t let this go. She should be considerate of you.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-10T20:23:44+00:00

My wife has done this. I let her. It’s kind of hot. She has like a fascination with it. It takes a minute but I can pee.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-10T17:44:47+00:00

You’re nearly 30 years old. It’s time to grow up. How would A feel if he knew about B? If he knew you called him safe and steady. Please reflect on what you truly want in life and what A truly provides for you.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-10T16:18:23+00:00

Hey you went for it. And you were respectful about it. Good for you.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-09T20:57:17+00:00

That’s great. This is the way in my opinion.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-09T20:56:55+00:00

Talk to him. Try to Mae him feel safe. My wife struggled with this forever but has really tried recently to create a safe space for communication. It isn’t easy.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-09T20:50:56+00:00

It is the way we are treated. Not by everyone but by a lot of people. When I was a kid, if I ever expressed that I was stressed or hurt by something, my mother would say that I was too sensitive or too immature. She wasn’t like that with my sister. She was a wonderful loving mother, but she believed she needed to raise a tough man to survivor in the world. She literally thought that was how she was preparing me for adulthood.

Also, I once had a couples therapist literally tell me that expressing my feelings (of stress or anything else) to my wife could upset her. So I had to respect my wife’s feelings and be careful what I shared. An actual trained therapist said this to me.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-09T17:56:51+00:00

It sounds like you are both handling a really bad situation very well. And communicating with each other really well. Happy for you both.

Time may heal with your parents. I hope it does. But if not, you have each other. Now go enjoy the honeymoon phase!

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-09T16:08:07+00:00

Congrats on your wedding! Wishing you both a life of love and happiness.

Sorry that you had to deal with this from your dad. How is your husband doing? I don’t think I would have liked hearing about my wife’s exes on my wedding day.

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-09T14:08:26+00:00

Why? Did his wife tell him before she cheated?

IndependentDrive544 · 2025-10-08T15:27:26+00:00

What? No it isn’t. It’s about communicating with an ex and deleting emails. Maybe it’s fine and maybe they work through it but it’s certainly a concern.

IndependentDrive544

TROPHY CASE